You Wouldn't Dare (Khaos Trilogy Book 1), стр. 65
In short, I placed my trust in the Moon Goddess, my faith bringing me pangs of joy.
I left feeling more whole than I had in a long time. I joined in with the evening games, laughing even though I didn’t really feel like it. I enjoyed a beautiful dinner, convincing everyone around me that the worst was over with. I just needed to work on convincing myself.
The time would come, though. I couldn’t grieve forever. There was such beauty in the world, a haven to explore. I might not do it with my mate as I had always planned, but I would visit all the sights that had jumped off the pages of the books I had read as a child. I would walk the corridors of Holy places of worship, immerse myself in the history of other cultures, living their history and escape my own life, even if only for a short while.
I had a plan and so for the first time since Khaos left me, I was able to breathe easy.
Day Five
Day five was a setback.
Too much food when my stomach had gone days without eating gave me awful cramps. I attempted breakfast but immediately brought it back up again. Jasmine expressed her concern, but I reassured her I was fine, a simple case of too much too soon. She asked me if I had reached my decision and I didn’t know how to answer. Yes. No. I couldn’t think past one day at a time.
Last night I had been so sure of myself, but another night of no sleep had me doubting myself.
Give Khaos one more chance, don’t ruin your happiness forever.
Leave now, don’t let Khaos destroy all the good within you.
Each decision was one that couldn’t be taken back. Either would change my life in such a drastic way.
At Jasmine’s insistence I visited the pack doctor who gave me a clean bill of health but ordered me to take things much easier whilst we waited for the results of the blood tests, just to be on the safe side. I had told him I didn’t need any blood work, but he had replied that it wasn’t worth pissing Khaos off. If anything happened to me, even if it were just a cold, the doctor would be to blame. I had stretched my arm out with a sigh and told him to get it over with.
Khaos was still influencing everything that happened to me.
They sent me back to the room they had ordered me to leave just a day or so ago, and I took up my usual position in the seat by the window. In no time at all, I was once again lost in my memories.
Day five really hadn’t gone to plan at all.
Day Six
Day six kicked off with an early morning visit from the doctor as he handed me my test results. He was pleased to announce I was fit and healthy, no doubt fearing Khaos’ wrath if he had told me anything else.
He handed me an envelope that contained my diagnosis and left me to my thoughts.
Day six was the day I made my decision. It was time to stop being childish. Whether Khaos or I ended up together in the end was of no importance. We still had things to talk about, things to work through – even if it was only for the sake of closure.
Making my way to his office with the help of Jasmine, holding my elbow and guiding the way, I called him. My palms were sweating as I anxiously listened to the endless ringing. The more the phone rang, the more time I had to look around the room and take in all of his belongings, his scent wrapping around me.
It wasn’t Khaos that answered. It was a female.
Jealousy ripped through me before common sense took over. Of course there were going to be females around. There was nothing to be worried about.
She introduced herself as Grace, the mate to Alpha Duke.
It didn’t escape my notice that she didn’t say “Luna”.
Maybe Khaos and I were not the only ones experiencing troubles in paradise.
Grace assured me that she was going to get Khaos and made me swear to stay on the phone. Five minutes, tops. They didn’t know where he was. He hadn’t been seen all day.
What the fuck was going off over there?
Finally, a lot more than five minutes later, he picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hey. It’s me…”
Chapter 18
Khaos
Day One
Day One I was fine. I refused to let myself think of Violet. Instead, I pretended I was away for the night on pack business and not about to be rejected by my mate. It wasn’t the healthiest approach; I knew that. But I was living in denial, too scared to contemplate not only a future without Violet, but a future completely alone.
Without her, there were no more shots. I would not contemplate taking another mate. My first and only choice mating with Louisa had been such a disaster. I wouldn’t settle for anything less.
Besides, now that I had come to realise exactly what a mating bond meant, the feelings it could provoke in a wolf, anything else would pale in comparison.
If I were completely honest, anyone else would pale in comparison to Violet.
She was beautiful, feisty, opinionated. She challenged me, made me see things in a different light. Above all else, she was funny. She brought a lightness to my life that I had never experienced. I could be myself around her. She didn’t judge or look at me any differently