You Wouldn't Dare (Khaos Trilogy Book 1), стр. 64
I still thought about him though, much more than I cared to admit. What was he doing right now? Had he tried to contact me? Was he even thinking about me?
How was I supposed to know if he had rung home, if I refused to let anyone in? I had almost left the second that thought entered my mind. I had been ready to rip open the door and find the first wolf and demand to know if I had any messages.
Yet, just as my hand reached for the handle, I remembered nobody would talk to me anyway.
I wasn’t their Luna anymore.
In fact, I never had been.
They wouldn’t listen to my commands and I didn’t actually know any wolf here well enough to be sure that they wouldn’t harm me without Khaos here to protect me.
I dropped my hand and went back to my seat, staring out of the window into the forest that held so many happy memories that it haunted my every waking hour.
Day two passed by much the same. A knock at my door signalled the meals being brought to me, and the mutters of disapproval a while later signalled them being taken away. Using this, I could time my day, keeping a loose hold on the passing hours as I lost myself more and more.
Day two really hadn’t been much better after all.
Day Three
Day three was a turning point. The day mostly dragged by, the same knocks at the door, the same tuts and mutters of disapproval. Everything stayed the same. I calculated the hours, moving the chair around the room to remain in the sun, until eventually it came to the time when the sun had me sat in the last place I wanted to be – the place where my memories came to life.
I stared out of the window, remembering my hunt with Khaos and the subsequent chase. The time when we had given ourselves to each other. I would never forget the lightning bolt that had hit me, realising my wolf had bonded with Khaos. I remembered Logan and his sweet, gentle love. He had always tried to do his best by me, my happiness being his highest priority, and yet when it was time for me to step up, I had let him down. I was my own worst enemy on this day, blaming myself for things I had no part in. It wasn’t my fault that Khaos had murdered him, but that didn’t stop me from believing that his blood was on my hands.
Jasmine and Erin, the raven-haired beauty, stopped by. They pleaded for my forgiveness, that Khaos explained everything. They apologised for not stopping by sooner; they were too consumed with their guilt and they had wanted to give me time to grieve. I didn’t respond to them. If I was being honest, their words barely registered with me. I was too involved in the movie playing in my mind, showing the events of my life that had led to me ending up in this situation.
Together they took charge, caring for me, spoon-feeding me soup, and gently coaxing me into the shower. Jasmine helped me wash, massaging my hair for me whilst Erin fixed up the bedroom. They laid out fresh clothes and tucked me into bed like a child, and I made my false promises to come down to breakfast in the morning.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I had said. I had no intention of keeping that promise. I knew it and they knew it. But at least I was talking, even if my voice did sound strained and scratchy.
As soon as they left, I broke down, sobbing because everything was new and fresh, and nothing belonged to Khaos. Nothing held his scent anymore. They had taken away the last remaining piece of him. It would be washed and returned to me, smelling clean, smelling different.
I cried harder, realising how pathetic I was. Where was the strong, opinionated Violet that took no shit from anyone?
Was she gone forever?
Maybe day three wasn’t such a turning point after all.
Day Four
Day four was the day I decided enough was enough. I vowed not to let Khaos destroy me completely. I went to breakfast with the pack, hesitant at first, but they all turned bright, happy faces my way. A few younger ones still called me Luna, but I ignored the sharp stab of pain their words delivered. It wasn’t their fault. They had just been getting used to the idea of having both an Alpha and a Luna, and now their Alpha was gone, and their Luna wasn’t really their Luna at all. Yet more to add to the list of people I had failed.
After my slight setback at breakfast, I walked around the gardens, finding a beautiful fenced off area. Upon further inspection, I found the temple and realised I was in the worship grounds of the Moon Goddess.
I knelt at her statue and I prayed and prayed to her as I unloaded all my worries and fears onto her. A gentle breeze brushed against my cheek, assuring me that everything would work out okay in the end. Even in your darkest hour, there was always light at dawn.
I realised that this was the place where Khaos’ journey had begun.
He had also been found in a place of worship when Ryssa had been at her lowest. For some messed up reason, this brought me comfort. It made me connect with him. Hell, it reminded me of him almost as much as the forest did, and for that reason I decided that I would come here every day and whisper my journey to the Moon Goddess. She was watching us as surely as she had watched Khaos all those