The Time Bubble Box Set 2, стр. 25
Josh wasn’t sure if it was an urban myth or not that fatpeople could soak up more alcohol, but Dan was certainly endorsing the theory.Josh was muscular and fit from all the sports he played but didn’t have Dan’sadditional padding.
They were halfway around the Monopoly board and it wasn’teven 9 o’clock yet. As they departed for the next pub, dusk was falling as Joshreflected that he was effectively now at the square on the board marked FreeParking.
When Josh had played this game as a kid this square hadserved no discernible purpose, so to make it more interesting his family hadput all the money from the fines in the middle of the board. Anyone who landedon Free Parking scooped the lot.
He had a long slog ahead if he was going to make it to theend. What he could really do with was an Advance to Go card in his hand rightnow, but there was no Community Chest on this crawl.
It was odd how important this had all become to Josh. Thiswas small beer compared to some of the scrapes he had been in, yet Dan hadriled him and it had become personal as a result. Nothing mattered more to himnow than completing the board.
Head down, with fresh resolve, he prepared to battle on.
Chapter Eight
August 2020
The red properties on the board were being represented byThe Black Goblin, a venue packed with heavy rockers dressed mostly in leatherand sporting big, bushy beards.
These weren’t hipster beards – the regulars in The BlackGoblin had been sporting theirs for years, long before it had becomefashionable. Such was the prevalence of facial hair that a casual observercould be forgiven for concluding that there was some sort of ZZ Top conventiongoing on.
The bearded masses were listening to an appallingly loud andtuneless local heavy metal band. Nonetheless they were lapping it upenthusiastically, jumping around with more energy than their rotund framessuggested was possible.
There was also a lot of headbanging, throwing long manes ofhair around that Ryan had to duck to avoid being whipped in the face by oneenthusiastic biker type as he was fighting his way to the bar.
It was extremely crowded which gave Josh a chance to carryout his latest alcohol disposal plan. His idea was to take his pint with him tothe toilets at the back of the pub and dispose of some down the sink.
As soon as Ryan handed him his pint he made a beeline forthe bogs, but unfortunately the eagle-eyed Dan spotted him sloping off andcollared him at the door.
“Off to the toilet again already?” he asked, smirking.
“Yeah, I’ve got to get some condoms,” said Josh on the hoof,spotting an opportunity to put Dan down a peg or two. “Lauren’s coming roundlater. You know – my girlfriend?”
“Oh,” said Dan, slightly crestfallen. “I see.”
That’s shut him up, thought Josh, deriving immensesatisfaction at asserting his alpha male position over Dan. He knew full wellthat Dan knew Lauren was his girlfriend, but couldn’t miss this opportunity torub his nose in it.
Dan had been trying it on with Lauren for years but, despiteher having a reputation for fancying anything in trousers, she had made itclear countless times that she wouldn’t touch him with a bargepole. That hadincensed him – why would she give it to all and sundry but not him?
Josh knew at this point in the timeline that he and Laurenwouldn’t be together much longer. It wasn’t that they didn’t get on, but shejust loved the idea of sexual freedom too much to want to be tied into arelationship. None of that mattered in the here and now. He had managed to pissDan off and that was immensely satisfying.
“Yeah, got to keep the lady happy,” boasted Josh, “so if youwouldn’t mind getting out of my way.”
“Why do you need to take your pint in with you?” asked Dan.
“Look around you!” exclaimed Josh. “You can see how packedit is in here. There’s nowhere I can put it down safely. Someone might nick itor spike it or anything.”
“Don’t worry,” said Dan. “I’ll look after it while you go.We wouldn’t want you accidentally spilling any of it down the sink, would we?”
“What makes you think I’m going to do that?” asked Josh.
“Oh, just something Ryan said to me while we were at thebar,” replied Dan. “He swore blind he saw you watering one of the plants in TheMarlborough Arms. So, for the rest of the night I’m going to be watching youlike a hawk. And you know what? I don’t think you’re going to make it to theend. I wonder how much of a big man Lauren will think you are then?”
“Whatever,” said Josh, who couldn’t be bothered to argue. Hehanded his pint over to Dan, hoping the stupid prick wouldn’t spit in it, andheaded into the toilets.
Inside, he took the opportunity to stick his hands under thecold tap and gulp down a few handfuls of water in the hope it would help todilute the beer a bit. He was feeling absolutely hammered by now: there werestill three pubs to go after this one.
He looked in the mirror at his youthful, drunken reflectionand questioned why he was even doing this. The experiment had been a success,so there was nothing to stop him ducking out of this now and then just waitingit out until he was whisked away at midnight.
It wasn’t as if he was even enjoying it that much, so whatwas so important about finishing this pub crawl? In the wider scheme of thingsit meant nothing, but he couldn’t bear the thought of Dan getting one over onhim.
Maybe his judgement was being clouded by the ongoingconflict between the rationality of his mature mind and the hormone-drivennature of his immature body. The copious amount of alcohol that had also beenthrown into the mix had merely added to the confusion.
He had