All In (Keep Breathing Book 2), стр. 71
“He’ll be out in a minute, baby.” I lift Matty in my arms and pull him tight to me. “Why don’t we go to the living room and see if Paw Patrol is on?”
I'm in luck when Matty's favorite pups grace Liam's big screen. Matty parks his car next to him and River sits beside him, asking him about the job of each pup, which gets Matty talking right away.
“How is he this morning?” Jax asks from beside me, popping a chip into his mouth.
“Not good.” I cross my arms over my chest and stare him down. “He was in an accident?”
“Yeah, yesterday evening.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” I should’ve been told when I got here. Jax looks away from me rubbing his neck. “He really didn't want me here, did he?”
“He's going through something, Holly.”
“I know. There was something going on with him before he got hit by a car. He closed up on me days ago. I let him have some space, but now I wish I hadn’t.”
“It is why I told you to come over when you called. Come with me.” Jaxson takes my arm and pulls me to the kitchen. "Holly, there’s something you need to know.”
“What?” He rubs his chin and I see the minor debate in his eyes of whether he should tell on his best friend. “Tell me. Please.”
“He got Vicodin yesterday. If I wasn't here, I'm not sure if he would have taken it. The fact he even accepted it from the doctor tells me everything.”
My heart sinks to my feet. He’s going through something bigger than I could ever imagine.
“Could it explain why I found him wrestling with the bottle of aspirin a moment ago?”
“Where did he get aspirin from?”
“I think they were mine. I had some in my bag.”
“Well, he’s not going to get high on aspirin. So, the fact he was fighting with that tells me one or two things. He’s in legit pain or he really is itching for the bigger hit.”
“And you have no idea what is going on?”
“I don’t know.” Jaxson shrugs. He's lying. I feel it.
“I'm worried about him. He’s a totally different person.”
“No, Holly, this is who I am.” Liam grunts as he walks into the kitchen, snatching a bottle of water off the counter.
"It's not," Jaxson groans and makes himself scarce to the living room with my son and his wife. The way Liam is gazing darkly at me, I would much rather suffer through another episode of Paw Patrol.
“I’ll have to agree with Jaxson. This isn’t who you are.” This is someone who is hurting or angry, and all I want to know is why.
“You didn’t know what I was like back then.”
“I don’t care about the guy back then. I know the guy now and he’s pretty amazing and I happen to be in love with him,” I admit for the first time out loud. I always did have shitty timing on things, and this is the worst, but I feel he needs to hear it.
“Like I said, you have no idea who I am. Who I was. You know nothing.”
My face falls. My eyes drifting to the living room to check on Matty. He appears to be focused on Chase and his team being on the case while my stomach does black flips.
“I see. I guess you're right.”
“Great, now you can just go.” He points to the front door.
“That’s not what I want to do,” I plead.
“Leave. Trust me, the last person you want in yours and Matty’s lives is a fuck up like me. “
“You’re not a fuck up,” I argue.
“The fact that my best friend has to babysit me over pain pills shows you what a fuck up I am. Just go. “
“Shutting me out isn't the answer either. I told you in the beginning, I’m your family now. I want to be here with you. Through everything. And right now, I can see you’re going through something. What it is, I don’t know, but I don’t care, I just want to be here for you.”
“Family?" He scoffs harshly. The disgust dripping in his voice is almost enough to shatter me. He moves to stand in front of me, narrowing his eyes down at me. “You’re not my family.” My heart thuds in my chest as my anxiety blooms. On the outside, this isn't the guy I know, but I know deep under the hurt of whatever is going on with him is the guy I love who doesn't mean the words he is saying. I hear it. I see it in his eyes.
Or so I hope.
"You don’t mean that.” I reach out to touch him and he grabs my hand, tossing it back to my side. Tears prickle in my eyes at his rejection.
“Don't stand here and beg me to change my mind. Instead, why don't you do what everyone else in my so called family has done and leave.”
"Daddy?" Matty pulls on Liam’s shirt, his big chocolate eyes, large and nervous.
"You think it's smart for him to see me like this?” Liam’s eyes blaze into mine. “Please. Go.” He demands before marching away.
"Come here, Matty." I go to pick him up and he reaches out for Liam’s departing figure.
“Mama.” Matty frowns and tears prickle in his eyes. Oh, my sweet baby. I scoop him into my arms and push a kiss into his chubby cheek.
“It's okay. Daddy just needs to work.” I don’t know how to explain what he just saw.
“I’m sorry, Holly. He doesn’t handle pain well and...” Jax drifts off, not finishing the rest. He knows more; he won’t say it though. He’ll protect