All In (Keep Breathing Book 2), стр. 70

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

HOLLY

I’ve been watching my boyfriend for the last couple minutes struggle with the childproof lid on an aspirin bottle. If this was any other time, or any other man, I would be laughing. Instead, my heart constricts painfully watching him desperately trying to get this bottle open. Something so easy to do, yet there has to be something stopping him from being able to do so. Once he manages to get it open, white pills go flying in every direction before they land on the tile of the bathroom floor.

He groans defeated and his head falls to the mirror. "What the fuck am I doing?"

"Liam?"

His head pops off the mirror, his eyes wide in surprise. "Holly? What are you doing here?"

His brown eyes are so dull. The life I saw in them only days ago has been washed away and replaced by misery.

It's as if someone stole his soul.

But I sense fear behind them too.

"I wanted to see you." I won't admit I've been calling for a while, finally to have Jaxson answer his phone, telling me to come over. He wouldn’t tell me why, other than Liam needed me. I wasn’t going to ask; I felt deep down something was wrong after two days of silence on his end, so I rushed right over.

"I want to know what's going on…"

"It isn't what it looks like," he snaps, cutting me off before I can finish, his eyes flashing to the pills on the ground.

"I'm not asking about those." I point to the scattered pills on the floor. "I'm asking about you. You closed up on me and I'm finding you like this." An absolute mess.

"I'm in pain!”

"Where?" I ask as I look him over. Noticing a few scratches littered on his arms and legs.

His hands push harshly through his hair. He looks so broken and lost and I feel so conflicted. What happened to him to make him break like this? To have pills scattered at the feet of the man who said he doesn't take any type of pain relievers... now taking god knows what.

"Everywhere," he groans, and his hands fall to the sink.

"Everywhere?"

"Yes. Everywhere. My ribs. My knee.” He places his hand over his heart, then it quickly falls back to grip the sink. He stares at himself in the mirror as he seems to debate something and then glances back over at me. “You wouldn't get it."

"I don’t because you won't talk to me. We were fine the other night and then suddenly we weren't. You're acting more like you're losing your business or someone died and you're looking for a crutch than trying to find a way to break up with me." And before I stepped into the scene the latter was running through my mind; now it’s clear he’s looking for some type of crutch.

"They're just aspirin…”

"Yeah and I thought you didn't take any pain relievers."

"I changed my fucking mind because I’m in fucking pain." He slams his fist into the mirror and I jump.

"You're about to be in more pain if you break that mirror. All I want to do is understand what's going on.”

“I was hit by a fucking car, Holly. Happy?” he snips.

My chin falls to my chest. “No. I’m not happy.” I pause, steadying my breath. Hit by a car? “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been here for you.” Why didn’t Jaxson call me?

“Because I didn’t want you to baby me.”

His words slice through me, cutting me deep and raw. Why is he acting like this? Is it because he’s in pain? I try to shake off the woe-is-me and look at the man in front of me. The one who is bending down to pick up the white tablets on the floor.

“I wouldn’t have babied you.”

“Right.”

"Mommy?" Matty calls from the bedroom door.

"Matty is here.” He glares at me. “Jesus." He stands with a wince. Kicking the rest of the pills with his feet under the sink. I hear River say something softly to Matty and they drift away from the door.

"If I knew you were like this, I wouldn't have brought him, but he wanted his daddy. He's missed you."

I miss you.

His eyes soften at my words. The first time since I got here a light shines back in them, but he shakes his head and the light shuts back off. My heart bleeds for this man in front of me, but as much as I want to reach out and hold him, his body language is telling me to back off.

"We can go though,” I say and step back.

"No. I want to see him."

"Okay, I'll give you a moment."

I move out of the bathroom to his bedroom. My hand travels over his large navy comforter where only days ago we were making love on top of it. Then hours later, it was like without warning, he became a totally different person when I found him outside on the deck. I woke up to his voice. A distant yelling. When I came to him, he was cold and closed off. He wasn’t my boyfriend and he’d built a wall around himself. I wanted to give him his space. I just didn’t expect him to shut down on me like he did.

There’s a loud bang from the bathroom that startles me. “Fuck!” Liam yells.

I’m tempted to ask if he’s alright; instead, I bolt out of the room.

I close the bedroom door and find Matty in the hall. He’s pushing the model car Liam gave him the first day they met around on the floor. River is standing against the wall watching him.

“Hey, whatcha doing?”

“Mommy? Where’s Daddy?” Matty looks at me