All In (Keep Breathing Book 2), стр. 69

I toss the yellow pill bottle to the coffee table and Jaxson eyes it.

"What did the doc give you?"

"He gave me Vicodin," I groan. "You know for the pain. I haven't taken them if that's what you’re worried about."

I want to though. 

"Do you need them?" He points to my bruised and battered chest. "It looks painful."

"I don't know."

Jaxson snatches the pill bottle and puts it in his coat pocket. "You got any more?"

"No."

Does he think I stole some out of the hospital pharmacy? For fuck’s sake.

"What the fuck happened?"

"I got hit by a car. Did you forget already?"

"Not that. Why haven’t you called her?”

“Who?”

“Who? Fucknuts don’t be stupid, you’re girlfriend. The mother of your child.” His words make me cringe, but I move and blame it on the ribs. “She should be the one here taking care of your ass, but I’m guessing whatever is going on with her is why you ended up in the street getting hit by a car.”

"I didn't do it on purpose," I bark. For fuck’s sake.

"No? Okay, fine, but I’m guessing it’s why you are eyeing the pills in my pocket like a man lost in the Sahara eyeing water. Now I'll give them to you if you need them, but I've known you long enough to know there's other shit going on and I can't give them to you till I know."

"Jesus." My head falls back against the couch. I’m going to have to tell him so he will give me a fucking break.

"I'm trying to help. I mean if you wanted you could have popped three of these babies already before we left the hospital."

True.

"My brother slept with Holly," I blurt out.

Jaxson's eyes widen and he stumbles back like I hit him. "What the fuck? When? How? What?”

"Three years ago. He was Holly's one-night stand. Not me."

He slips onto the couch with a look of amazement on his face. "When did you find this out?"

"Two days ago. He decided he couldn't live without me knowing or some horseshit."

"But the DNA test?"

"Since we are identical twins the results would come back as both of us. I didn't even think of it till he said something. You would think I would think of that."

But why would I? 

Why would I have reason to doubt my brother when he said he didn’t know her?

"So, he tells you this months later? I don't understand."

"He didn't want Maria to know and he claims he was just in denial. It's why he pushed so hard for me to get rid of her. He knew. He fucking knew," I shout and then grip my right side as a shard of pain stabs through my ribs.

"Does Holly know? Is that why she isn’t with you?"

"No. I don't know how or if I want to tell her. Landon says I don't need to tell her he's the father, but everything I knew this last month has been turned upside down."

"Dick. I should throttle him for you." He smacks his fist into his palm.

"Go right fucking ahead." I manage to stand to my feet without any pain in my side. "Listen, I don't want to fucking talk about it. I'm going to fucking lay down."

"River should be back with food in a few."

Meaning he's going to try and use his wife to get me to talk.

"I'm not hungry. You can go. You do have my pills, so I can't take them."

"We're not leaving man."

"Don't you want to spend time with your pregnant wife? I know much she hates being down here."

“She’s getting better about it, and she’ll want to be here for you. You know it. We’re here for you. Now go rest. I’ll bring you food if you’re still awake.” He waves off and picks up the TV remote, putting his feet on the coffee table and making himself right at home. This brings a flashback of years ago when Jaxson lived with me. When he was practically babysitting me last time to make sure I didn’t swallow handfuls of pills.

Ignoring him, I make my way to my bedroom and try to get some sleep.

By the time morning comes, I find sleep never truly came other than a few stolen moments only to be woken by pain and vivid dreams. Dreams of the emptiness of life without Holly and without Matty.

My dinner sits on my nightstand uneaten. A piece of double chocolate cake like River promised as well.

I manage to slip on a shirt and a pair of plaid PJ bottoms before making my way to the bathroom.

I spot Holly’s hygiene bag and dig through it, in hopes of finding some pain relievers. I know she has some. I caught her taking some for a headache the other morning. She tucked them away, trying to hide them away from me.

I need something. My ribs are aching and my lungs are on fire. Two or three aspirin wouldn’t be the end of the world. I find the large white bottle containing what I need at the bottom of her bag underneath a pile of makeup and lotions.

I glance at the bottle then at myself. It’s the first time I’ve looked in the mirror since I got home, and I look like I feel…like absolute fucking shit. I’m pale, with large dark bags under my eyes. My beard is a scruffy mess and my hair is greasy at the roots.

Yes, I need these. Maybe I’ll feel good enough for a fucking shower.

I struggle with the lid, my cracked ribs make twisting hard.

Stupid childproof cap.

I finally manage to get the stupid lid off and the little white pills go flying out, scattering into the sink and to the floor around my feet.