King of Diamonds (All About the Diamond #2), стр. 39
Seals are at bat, Chase swings at the first pitch and connects with a double to the left field wall. I yell out, “Wooo! Go Chase!”
Rick turns and glares at me, “You know he can’t hear you, right?”
“I can cheer for my team if I want!” He shakes his head. “I talked to you through the TV when I would watch games from home. Sometimes I encourage the pitchers with positive words. I also tell the other team they suck.”
“What did you say to me through the TV?”
“That depends on what you were doing and when it was.” He glares at me strange again. “Always encouraging and positive.”
“Why do I feel like you’re holding back? Tell me.” Joking, now he’s in a better mood.
“Well, I’ve said a lot of things: You’re so fucking hot! Tag’m out, baby! He’s going, throw to second! Knock him on his ass!”
“That’s it? I expected more.”
“I changed it up after the Locale, but I haven’t watched many games on TV since then. I’m always at the stadium with you. You know exactly what I say at the stadium, you hear every word!” I laugh out loud. “You know more of what I say than I do. I still don’t have a clue what I say in my sleep. You should probably tell me.”
“No. That’s private.” He smirks.
“How can it be private if I’m the one saying it?”
“I think it’s just for me. If you wanted you to know, you’d remember.” I smack him with a throw pillow and he takes it away from me, grabs my hands and holds them up while he searches the depths of my eyes like he’s trying to read my soul. His eyes are serious, dark and heavy. “You tell me what you want. You tell me what you’re scared of. Sometimes they’re the same thing. Some mornings you tell me about your dreams.” He turns away and then back up at me, “I love all of it. I love you. I want to give you what you want more than anything.” He takes a deep breath and quietly continues, “I want it, too.”
Shit. I do a couple more jello shots and lean back to watch the game. Rick reaches for my hand and entangles his fingers with mine as he pulls me closer to him. I’m wasted and do my best to keep my mouth shut. At least I’m getting to watch the game and hold hands with my man.
Chapter Twelve
I wake up to the smell of coffee brewing. It’s morning and I don’t remember going to bed last night or the end of the game, but I’m in my bed and I’m naked. Rick is next to me sleeping and I remember the conversation we had about what I say in my sleep, but nothing in between other than jello shots and holding his hand. It gives me an idea. I snuggle against him and keep my eyes closed.
“I don’t remember coming to bed last night.” I say into the room and wonder if the man I’m sleeping next to will respond.
“I carried you to bed.” He says in a sleepy voice.
“What do I want?” Pushing my luck, but asking before I get him talking too much.
“You want to give me things. You love me.”
“What am I scared of?” I need details.
“Your feelings and wanting to give me things.” It’s the same as what he said last night, I tell him what I want and I’m scared of what I want.
“What things do I want to give you?”
“You know.”
“I want to give you a lot of things. What things do I tell you I want to give you?”
Rick wraps his arms around me and holds me as tightly against him as he can. Wide-eyed and obviously awake, he’d been going along with my ruse. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you need to know. I’m going to tell you, but I’m going to hold you and not let go. You will want to get out of bed and go for coffee or use something as a distraction to ignore it, run from it. I’m not going to let you. You run when you’re scared. You’ve said things when we’re having sex, but I think that’s almost the same as in your sleep. You want to fill the soft spot in my heart where I’ve been hurt. You’re what I’ve needed my whole life, you Sherry.” He stops talking, possibly reconsidering this whole conversation or maybe trying to put together the best words. “Do you still want to know? You want me to say it?”
“Yes.” I need to know.
“You tell me you want me to get you pregnant, so we can have Elle. You tell me you never wanted that and you only want it with me.” He tightens his grip and he’s right, my flight instinct is trying to kick in. “You know that’s a sensitive subject for me and I think that’s why you don’t say it when you’re awake, you don’t want to hurt me.” He stops again, assessing my reaction. “Then you tell me you’re scared of getting pregnant.” He stops and waits, like I should say something.
Without thinking, words come out of my mouth and I hear them for the first time as I say them, “It’s true, and I want it more than I’m scared of it. The most important thing is that I’m with you.” My whole body relaxes and I don’t want to run. I guess I just needed to say it.
Rick’s eyes light up, “Sherry, tell me what you want while you’re awake and coherent. I want to know it’s real. I want to read it in your eyes.”
I gaze at him and smile, “I want to be with you forever. I want you to get me pregnant, so we can have Elle together. I’m not running. I love you, Rick, and I only want it with you.”
He kisses me, like he’s breathing me in and