Shameless (The Therapist #2), стр. 43

“Absolutely not. That’s a great observation,” I agree with a nod and smile. “I think you're right. Lust is a word that’s used to describe something as if it’s wrong or taboo. People often say, ‘You're in lust, not love,” as if lust is something that should be forgotten about, grown out of, or powered through, instead of enjoyed and used.

“When you feel lust for someone, that doesn't mean that what you're feeling is wrong, or that you’ll never be able to add love into the equation. In fact, I would say the problem most relationships have is that as they start to feel love, they decide to leave lust behind, mistakenly disregarding it as some school-age notion that’s immature. It’s not immature, and it shouldn't be shed like a snake's skin to be replaced by something more mature.

“Lust is a great thing to feel. It fuels passion, and in my profession, I see a lot of passionless relationships who can't figure out why it’s not hot in the bedroom anymore, and the answer is that they’ve left lust behind. They disregard it with sayings like, ‘We’re not teenagers anymore,’ or mentions of how long they've been married. But lust can and should last a lifetime. Once you decide to settle down, you should learn to harness it and preserve it for your partner, not let it go. You mix it with your love. While it’s harder to feel the older we get due to careers and families, it shouldn't be thrown out to make room for those things. It should be kept and used as often as our lives will allow. We should make time for lust, passion, and pleasure, no matter how old we get. I think you figured out something a lot of people go their entire lives never understanding. Good for you, Tessa.”

Tessa smiles like she’s proud of herself, and she should be. For someone who seemed so unsure of herself and what she wanted, she has come a long way in a short amount of time. If she can keep an open mind and stay on this path, Tessa will surely find happiness. It may not be immediate, but it definitely will come, and when it does, I believe it will last.

“Well, I appreciate the support, Dr. Colson,” Tessa says. She switches her legs to make herself more comfortable, planting both feet on the ground like she's bracing for an oncoming impact. “To my surprise, my mother showed her first signs of being supportive, too.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Your mother?”

“Yeah. After the sex in the clinic with Will, my mother walked in on us before we could even pull our pants up,” Tessa tells me, but she’s smiling as if she's unfazed by being caught by her judgemental mother. “You should’ve seen her face. She was beyond pissed off.”

“I’m sure that was uncomfortable.”

“It was, but I think it needed to happen. I ended up confronting her about everything, and she was surprisingly supportive of my opinion. She even hugged me, and I don’t think that would’ve happened if she didn’t walk in and force me to speak my truth.”

“Wow,” I exclaim. “No wonder you seem so different today. You don’t have the weight of your mother’s judgement on your back.”

“Well, I’m sure it’s still there,” Tessa jokes, behind a giggle. “She’s just going to keep that crap to herself from now on. At least I hope she is. It was great to hear her say she’s going to let me live my life and stop being so pushy. I guess all I can do is hope she’s true to her word. However, I did have a question for you after talking to her.”

“Perfect. That’s what I’m here for,” I reply, adjusting myself in my seat as I perk up at the thought of a challenge.

Before Tessa can ask her question, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Without looking at it, I already know who it is, and I grit my teeth together to focus on ignoring it. Apparently, I forgot to put the phone in my desk like I usually do. I was too distracted to remember. Fuck.

“Before she was able to get over herself and let me live my life,” Tessa says. “She kept talking to me about self respect. Like, because I slept with a guy I didn’t know, I have no self respect. What’s your opinion on that?”

“What’s your opinion on it?” I counter. It’s always good to know how the patient feels about something before I give my assessment, just to make sure they don't simply latch onto what I have to say.

“I’m not sure,” Tessa admits, shrugging. “I mean, I know my worth, but I guess I’ve always heard that people who sleep with random people don't respect themselves. It’s something society tells us all the time. I just don't know how the two relate to each other at all.”

“Well, people say a lot about things they don't really understand,” I reply, ignoring another buzz from my phone. “Self respect has nothing to do with sex or nudity. Self respect means making choices that make you happy. Being sexual has nothing to do with self respect. As long as you’re happy with your decisions—sleeping with people of your choosing, at a time of your choosing—you have self respect. It’s as simple as that. Any other definition of the phrase is subjective—the person using it defines it by their own judgements and standards. Self respect isn't something that can be defined by anyone other than yourself. That's why it’s called self respect.”

Another beautiful smile shows itself on Tessa’s face, and I can tell she's had a real awakening. Today, she seems like a whole new woman, and I’m proud of her for coming so far, and not being afraid to stand her ground. Breaking cycles created by parents is a very difficult thing to do, and Tessa seems to have managed to snap herself out of