Shameless (The Therapist #2), стр. 30

“Oh my god,” Eric mumbles as he pulls away to look at me before coming forward again. “This is incredible. You're so incredible.”

Our mouths press tightly together while Eric finally finds his footing and becomes the one leading this dance. He pushes up against me and I allow my body to lean back onto the couch. My legs part and Eric takes the opportunity to slide his body between my knees. I feel his erection pressing up against my clit as we slowly start to grind together like we’re on the dance floor in a club. Admittedly, it feels good, and I can feel myself getting wetter.

After a few short minutes, I realize that this isn’t something I’m forcing. This isn’t something I’m being compelled to do. This is the opposite of that. It feels right. It feels good. This feels more natural to me than suppressing my urges. So what if Eric isn’t the love of my life? My body yearns to be touched. I want to be craved, and I want to be devoured, and I don't feel like some cock hungry slut who’s addicted to dick like heroin. I feel like a woman who’s strong enough to own herself and go for what she wants. I feel powerful and ready for a night full of pleasure.

“Condom.” I manage to ask between steady kisses. I say the word as a demand, because it certainly isn’t a question.

“Oh, yeah. Hold on.” Eric rushes to shove his hand into his back pocket, before revealing a thick leather wallet. From the outside, I can already see the outline of the condom, and I have to shove a laugh back into my belly before I erupt, because I haven’t seen anything like this since I was in high school. Eric even smiles nervously as he pulls the condom out.

Once I see the condom and nod my approval, each of us takes a moment to undress. It’s awkward, but both of us try to focus on what we’re doing instead of what the other person’s naked body looks like. I remove my pants at the same time Eric does, but my nerves don’t allow me to glance down at his package to see what he’ll be delivering. Instead, I fight back a blush and lay down.

Eric sets himself between my legs, and all I can think about now is how I’m about to break all of my mother’s rules. She’s going to lose her mind if she finds out about this, but I could jump for joy because I don’t care. For the first time in my life, I’m not concerned about what she thinks, so I lie back and prepare to enjoy myself the way a consenting adult should.

“You ready?” Eric asks, making me think he’s about to deliver something large and hard, and I nod so he knows he has permission. The next thing I feel is the pressure of Eric sliding himself into me.

I gasp at the initial insertion, then relax. My muscles tighten and then loosen, because while the pressure of having something shoved into you is intense, the size of Eric’s cock isn’t. I feel uncomfortable even referring to it as a cock. Eric doesn't have a cock. He has a penis. I didn’t realize there's a difference until this very moment.

I feel it, but barely, and I actually look up at Eric to see if he’s in. I can tell from how his breathing picks up and his face contorts that he can definitely feel it. He’s actually inside me. It’s really happening.

“Oh wow,” he says, before flashing a smile that nearly makes me cringe. “Oh my god.”

Eric begins pumping. His movements are bumpy and awkward, and while I can feel it, it’s nothing to brag about. I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do in this situation.

Am I supposed to moan so he feels empowered? Do I scratch his back so he feels more like a man? I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but this is far less than I’d hoped for. Do I fake an orgasm just to get this over with?

Fuck that. I refuse to be the woman who fakes orgasms to satisfy men. I will never do that again. If he can't get me there, I won't allow him to think he has. He’ll just have to get over it and learn how to be better, but he’ll have to learn that with someone else.

As the thoughts race around in my head, chasing each other, I can’t grab onto one. I don’t know what to do, so instead of just letting Eric be horrible, I try to grind myself against him, hoping to get some clitoral stimulation by pressing my body against his. I move around, and enjoy the instant tingles of my clit being rubbed against Eric’s body. Before I know it, I find a little groove and it starts to actually feel okay. I’m not going to orgasm from this, but I can at least get some satisfaction, and maybe this experience won’t be completely horrible and a big fat waste of my time.

“Oh, wait,” Eric suddenly erupts. “Oh gosh!”

Eric spits out a long, dry moan as he leans his face directly in front of mine. I’m suddenly engulfed by his wine breath and pure disappointment as Eric comes much earlier than either of us could’ve wanted. So much for a night full of pleasure. Once it’s over, Eric giggles, before pulling out and sitting his bare ass on my couch, panting.

“Oh wow,” he says again, looking up at the ceiling. “That was unreal.”

I can't think of a polite response, and I don’t bother trying. I simply lift myself up, slide back into my pants, and sit down next to Eric, who’s still sitting there naked, definitely soaking his ass sweat into my couch cushions. Maybe I’d be okay with that if he was able to satisfy me, but since he couldn’t, I