He knew he was as lacking in expertise as Matthieu when it came to managing a bar but was confident that his local knowledge and a minimum of common sense would enable them to avoid another debacle. He spoke of the future like a visionary and Matthieu listened to him as if his were the voice of prophetic truth. They would have to moderate their ambitions, without abandoning them completely, there was no question of their offering a full restaurant service, that was hard labor and financially a bottomless pit, but they would offer their customers light meals, especially in summer, something simple, charcuterie, cheeses, maybe salads as well, without skimping on quality, people were prepared to pay for quality, that Libero was sure of, but as they must resign themselves to living in an age of mass tourism and give an equal welcome to hordes of people who were strapped for cash, there was no question of limiting themselves to luxury foods, they must also be prepared to serve crap at dirt-cheap prices and Libero knew how to resolve this formidable equation. His brother, Sauveur, and Virgile Ordioni would supply them with the best quality ham, cured over three years, and cheeses, really exceptional things, so very exceptional that anyone who tasted them would reach for his wallet weeping tears of gratitude, and, as for the rest, no point in burdening themselves with second-rate products, the trash that supermarkets sold in their local produce sections, packaged in rustic string bags decorated with a moor’s head and perfumed in a factory with chestnut flour, much better quite frankly to go cheap with no frills and serve Chinese pork carved in Slovakia that you could hawk for next to nothing, but beware of treating people like idiots, you need to lay your cards on the table and present things so they understand the price differentials and don’t get the impression they’re being ripped off, the crap is a bargain, for quality you pay through the nose, honesty was absolutely essential in this, not only because it was an admirable virtue in itself but, above all, because it more or less fulfilled the function of a lubricant, the platters for sampling must be prepared in such a way that the customers can get an idea, taste it first and then you take an order afterward, no, please try another piece, just to be sure, and this scrupulous honesty will be all the more rewarded because, whatever the final choice, the profit margins would be very much the same, they were going to swindle them all, all these suckers, poor and rich alike, irrespective of age or nationality, but swindle them openly, while at the same time pampering them, the manager of a bar must look after his customers, he couldn’t spend all his time stuck there behind his till, like that halfwit Gratas, he must be on hand, pleasant, eager to please, so the crucial problem to be resolved was therefore one of waitresses. One evening Vincent Leandri took them to meet a friend who had managed various businesses on the mainland and now ran a bar down on the coast, it was smart and discreet although it could have earned him immediate conviction for aggravated procuring as Matthieu and Libero were quick to realize. He welcomed them with open arms and regaled them with champagne.
“You need someone reliable. And who knows about music.”
He made a phone call and told them that Annie, an experienced waitress, who had worked for him in the past, might be interested. She arrived a quarter of an hour later, declared that Matthieu and Libero were sweet, drank almost a pint of champagne and assured them that she would be delighted to give them a hand. She would look after the till and manage the stock. For service in the main bar area they would need to find another waitress. Vincent’s friend shook his head.
“Not one. One’s not enough. You need three or four.”
Libero pointed out that the bar was not very big, they didn’t need so many girls and he didn’t see how they could find the money to pay them. But Vincent’s friend insisted.
“It’s the summer. If you’re not a couple of dopes you’ll get a big crowd. If you want to stay open throughout the day as well as in the evening you’ll need staff members to do shifts. You can’t make the same girl work eighteen hours a day, can you? And if it costs too much you could fire a couple of them. But then you’ll be the ones that have to get up in the morning. In the evening you need girls. Two guys isn’t good for trade. I know there are lots of fags around, but you’re not planning on opening a gay club, are you?”
He gave a hearty, coarse laugh. Libero was on the point of replying that he had no more intention of opening a gay club than a strip joint but he was afraid of upsetting him.
“You get my meaning?”
Libero nodded.
“And whatever you do, don’t screw the waitresses. Got it? People don’t come to spend their dough at your place and watch you screwing the waitresses. You can screw the customers, but not the waitresses.”
Annie agreed wholeheartedly, you could allow yourself to do lots of things in life, but if you were managing a bar you should never, absolutely never, screw the waitresses. Matthieu and Libero assured her that such an appalling notion had never crossed their minds.
They were surprised to note the following day that Annie, whose competence was in other respects irreproachable, seemed to have retained from her previous employment the curious custom of greeting each member of the male sex who crossed the threshold of the bar by stealthily but firmly stroking his balls. No one escaped this grope. She went up to the new arrival, all smiles, and gave him two smacking kisses on both cheeks, while with her left hand, as if
