Lydia's Pine Harbor Christmas, стр. 18
Lydia sighed. She was expecting too much.
This is where it would be helpful to have girlfriends to talk with about it. But that window had closed. No way could she, at the ripe age of eighteen, admit to having never experienced anything more than a chaste kiss. People would think she was a freak. She could only assume that was as good as it got until proven otherwise.
Ten
Lydia went Christmas shopping for Bryce. Expectations were relatively low at that point in their relationship, but the choice still wasn’t easy for her. Cologne seemed a little too personal, and the hats, gloves, and scarves didn’t seem personal enough. Deciding felt like torture. She didn’t know what Bryce would want, so she settled on something safe—a necktie.
As she stared at one, someone with a familiar voice said, “Bryce strikes me as more of a bowtie kind of guy.”
She looked up to find Marco grinning at her. “I’ve never seen Bryce in a bowtie. Ever.”
“He should really consider it. It would be a good look for him.”
Lydia narrowed her eyes, but once she caught sight of the mischievous light in Marco’s, she couldn’t help but smile.
“When you get down to my name on your list…” He leaned over her phone. “Just keep scrolling. It’s way down there at the bottom.”
She shoved her phone into her pocket.
Marco didn’t even try to hide his amusement. “I’m not really a tie guy. Think rugged and manly.” He picked up a Christmas tie with a large reindeer. “Something more like this. See, if you press it right here, his nose lights up.”
“Oh, that’s stunning.”
“Right?” His grin faded, leaving a gentle smile. “And what about you? He patted his thigh. Come tell Santa what you’d like for Christmas.”
You. I’ve missed you.
A wistful look settled on his face. She had forgotten how his gaze warmed her. Actually, she remembered but had tried to forget. Then every time he looked at her, it was like the first time.
She did her best to lighten the mood. “If Santa brought me a tie like that, I’d be the happiest girl in the world.”
Marco made a poor attempt at a smile, which made it even harder for her to shrug off the charged silence that was settling between them.
At last, Marco asked, “How are you?”
“I’m sorry.” She couldn’t help blurting it. The apology had weighed upon her since she’d first caught sight of him. Not only had cutting things off so abruptly not helped her at all, but it had also hurt him.
Marco shook his head as though it were nothing, but the look in his eyes told a different story.
Lydia couldn’t think of what else to say other than to tell him she hadn’t wanted to see him because she cared for him too much. But she couldn’t tell him that. Although if he didn’t stop looking at her like that, she might lose her resolve.
A sales associate appeared out of nowhere. “May I help you?”
Startled, Lydia said, “Yes, would you ring this up, please?” She set down the tie she’d selected for Bryce then pulled out her debit card and handed it to the salesclerk.
Marco leaned his elbow on the counter. He was inches from her. It was all she could do to lift her eyes to meet his, knowing she might give away how being near him made her pulse race.
He said, “I miss having coffee.”
“Have you given it up?” She was proud of herself for lightening the mood.
“With you. I miss having coffee with you.”
So much for lightening the mood. Lydia reminded herself that it was just coffee, yet she could barely string words together to speak. She managed a nod.
The sales associate handed her a stylish holiday handle bag. She thanked him then turned to Marco. What now? “It was good seeing you? We’ll have to do this again sometime?”
“So… what I’m trying to ask is would you have coffee with me?”
“Now?” With the way her heart was pounding, anyone might’ve thought he had asked her for coffee and her hand in marriage. Saying yes felt as though she would be cheating on Bryce, which was ridiculous, but it was how she felt. Yet she said yes, surprising not only herself but, from the looks of him, Marco as well.
As they ordered their coffee, they were light and chatty like they’d always been together, but an undercurrent of tension ran through the conversation. A crowd filled the coffee shop, but a Christmas miracle brought them to a table just as a couple was leaving. They plopped down victoriously and exhaled. After their first sips, the mood took a turn.
The usually good-humored Marco sometimes turned into the other Marco, which even Lydia only glimpsed rarely. His eyes darkened. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Their parting had been Lydia’s decision.
“For being apart. For whatever I did to cause it.” He looked down and played with a corner of his napkin.
“You didn’t do anything.” Her face flushed. “Life got a little confusing. I needed some time to myself.”
“And now?”
Lydia had never seen Marco look so vulnerable. “Now? I…” Don’t know what to say. Yes, I want to spend time with you—all the time—because I’m in… trouble. The L-word I can’t let myself say kind of trouble.
“Are we… okay?”
Something inside Lydia’s brain clicked into emergency backup mode. Her face artificially brightened. “Yes! Absolutely! Like I said, you didn’t do anything wrong. I had some things to sort out in my life, and I’ve sorted them out. Everything’s good. I’ve touched base with my father, and we’re building something. Bryce and I couldn’t be better. And you and I are good friends—just like always.”
Marco nodded as though he wanted to believe her, but doubt lingered in his eyes. “Good. Well, that’s great.”