Lydia's Pine Harbor Christmas, стр. 17

Intermission came, and they sipped champagne while Bryce explained all about the family scrap-metal business, which was very successful, and Bryce would be the third generation to join it. Lydia admired them for having found something they all enjoyed doing. She hadn’t even managed to declare a major, while Bryce had his whole life planned out for him. Knowing there would be no surprises or big decisions to make was appealing. His path was steady and secure. Yet as she thought about a life without surprises, she wondered if that was the right path for her.

Lydia forgot all thoughts of her future as the pas de deux enveloped her in its rapture. She had been trying to ignore it, but the resemblance between the wavy dark-haired Nutcracker and Marco was inescapable. That, combined with the beauty of her favorite scene of the ballet, brought her as close to a state of euphoria as anything in the world could. In that blissful moment, Bryce chose to pull out a cellophane-wrapped cough drop and begin to open it, crinkle by crinkle. Without thinking, Lydia reflexively reached over and clamped her hand over his, where she held it until the scene was over.

The audience was still applauding as the curtain rose yet again for another well-deserved round of applause when Bryce got up and climbed over half a dozen laps until reaching the aisle, leaving Lydia to apologize her way down the row after him. As they stepped out into the street, it looked as though the same light snow from the first act were now drifting down to collect on their shoulders.

Bryce wasn’t angry or even annoyed. In fact, he didn’t seem to feel guilty at all. Nor did Lydia, because Bryce was the one in the wrong.

He sputtered a few words on their way to the car. “That was a little rude and uncalled for.”

“So was unwrapping candy in the middle of the ballet. And not just any part of the ballet—the most glorious scene in the ballet. In any ballet. That pas de deux is the most stunningly uplifting—soaring—” She stopped.

He had the most curious look on his face, as though he were observing a new zoo exhibit. Then he surprised her. “I’m sorry. I had no idea it meant so much to you.”

And to pretty much everyone sitting around us, but… whatever.

“Thank you for pointing that out. I won’t do it again.”

Lydia believed that he meant it. Even so, it was such an odd way to react. It was as though she had asked him to put the toilet seat down. What he’d done had affected other people. It was plainly inconsiderate for both the audience and the performers. But Bryce didn’t care one way or the other except for the fact that it had bothered Lydia. And for her, he was willing to adjust his behavior. She wasn’t quite sure how to take that. On the one hand, he was being considerate of her, but on the other hand, he was blissfully unaware of the people around him. In any event, the conflict was resolved.

For the rest of the evening, Lydia remained puzzled. They had weathered their first disagreement and come out unscathed. There was no drama, and that was a good thing. But no drama implied no emotion, and that troubled Lydia. With Marco, life was always dramatic but not in a negative way. They were the stars of their own ballet with no audience needed. Together, they plunged into each moment with laughter and zest. She couldn’t recall a dull moment with Marco. On the other hand, Bryce cared for her in a dutiful way. With him, she knew just where she stood. That gave her a sense of safety and security that, at times, she had lacked in her life.

It was with some astonishment that Lydia realized she had what she’d always wanted. All her life, she had been different, the girl with no father and a mother with no financial security. She might have gone without nonessentials like skiing and shopping with friends at the mall, but she’d always had everything she needed. The fact that her mother had managed that much was astounding. Still, at the edge of their lives was the ever-present threat that they had no cushion if something went wrong. On any day, the threat loomed that they might not have enough. Then where would we be? Lydia never knew the answer. She only knew the subtle sense of dread underlying their lives.

Bryce had no worries. Everything seemed to fall into place whenever she was with him. Even the candy wrapper incident had faded away by the time he walked her to her door.

“You look pretty tonight.” Then he kissed her—a light and chaste kiss, as always. “Good night.” And he left.

He could have been kissing his elderly aunt, with the passion his kisses conveyed. He was a proper gentleman, which was fine—more than fine. Nothing was wrong with taking things slowly and methodically, except that Lydia felt like there ought to be more. The problem was that she didn’t know. For that, she had only herself to blame. She had purposely avoided dating in high school, mainly because there hadn’t been anyone she felt that way about. But she was suddenly in a position in which she lacked vital experience that might have given her a better frame of reference where men were concerned. For instance, she didn’t mind kissing Bryce, but she couldn’t help but wonder if that was all there was to it—because she didn’t feel a thing.

Kissing and sex looked so great in the movies, but everything looked better on the screen. Real life couldn’t be anything like that. Yet the big screen didn’t come close to some aspects of real life. Nothing could compare to looking out from the harbor, not only to take in the changeable colors of the massive sea with its slow, powerful waves but also to be able to