Star Gods, стр. 37

happened to me when I took that staff from Levi, and something else happened today. What am I becoming? Are the Luminaries making sure I become their next leader? My chest heaves as thoughts race through my mind, and tears of rage streak down my face. They’re not going to take my right to be who I want to be away from me. I pool barriers into each hand, my breathing quickening as I stare at the wall in front of me and envision Levi’s face until I can’t handle the pressure anymore inside my chest. With a strangled cry, I produce barrier after barrier and throw them as hard as I can at the protected walls, until my body tires and I drop onto the cushion of the couch with my head pounding in my hands.

Drip

I sputter awake, blink rapidly, and turn my face away from the dripping water. A hand clamps on my arm and Sage pushes through our connection at my exhaustion.

“What the hell did you do?”

I pull my arm out of her grasp and sit up on the couch. “I was mad.”

She grabs hold again and I yank away. “Don’t, Sage, I’ll be fine. I did this. I’ll rejuvenate just fine on my own, just like I have without you.” I snatch up the water bottle to gulp down what’s left.

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why would you drain yourself and then not let me help you?”

“I told you, I was angry. I’ll take the punishment.”

“That’s stupid.”

I peer at her, and then to where my barriers are still holding strong. “How did you get in here?”

She crosses her arms and glares at me while tapping her foot on the floor. “Apparently, I can get through. It must be the twin thing.”

“Fabulous.” I lean back and drag my hands slowly through my hair while pushing down on my aching head.

Sage sighs and sits at the end of the couch. “Why are you being so difficult?”

“Don’t piss me off. I don’t have the energy right now.”

“You’re already pissed off. It doesn’t take much to make it happen.” She remains quiet for a moment. “Is it because you’re a Luminary now?”

“I’m not a Luminary.”

“But, you glowed silver.”

“Not now, Sage. I mean it.” I rub deeply at my temples.

I feel as her anger peaks. “We’re in this together, Zeke. This doesn’t only concern you.”

I sit up, leaning forward and glare at her, pointing to my chest. “He’s taunting me, Sage. He’s taunting me to come after him. You saw it.”

“The only thing I saw was you glowing silver like Ashe and becoming a Luminary,” she snaps back. “So stop yelling at me and fill me in so I can understand all of this.”

How is that possible? Did I block her, or did he? “I told you, he’s taunting me.”

“You’re leaving something out. We’re connected, remember?”

I scrub at my face.

“We do this together, Zeke.”

I look to the floor.

“No, you’re not going after him alone.”

“Sage…” I warn.

“Zeke. You go after him alone and you could die.”

“We all could die before this is done,” I spout back angrily.

“If you die I won’t learn to be a Star God.”

“I’m not planning on dying, Sage. Get a grip.”

“Really? Get a grip?” she repeats with an icy chillness. Her face reddens as she glares at me. “Fine.” She gets angrily to her feet, marches to the door and pushes her way through my barrier. She turns and sneers at me while she pulls all my barriers loose and flings them all at me at once.

I’m not prepared to take this volume back—it slams into me spiking my headache. I grit my teeth, pushing on the sides of my head desperately trying to regulate it all, until hands pull mine away and another’s settle there.

“Slowly, Sage,” Ashe instructs. “Pull back, not forward.”

“Zeke, I’m so sorry.”

“Concentrate, Sage, you have to weaken it, thin it out, and pull some into you.”

“How the hell do I do that?” she squeaks.

I pull her hands away and shove her. “Dammit, I got it!” I have no choice now. I have to accept that I’m different. I can’t change who I am or what I’m becoming. Whatever this is, it’s all part of me. I gasp in a deep breath, concentrate, and my barriers finally seep into me. I sag backwards onto the back of the couch, placing my hands on the sides of my face as the throbbing in my head significantly decreases. Why can’t I have the ability to self-heal?

“Ashe, he’s still in pain.”

“Don’t,” I disagree. “I’ll be fine.”

“Ashe?” Sage pleads.

“Just leave me be, please.” I take what energy I have left and travel to the quiet of my room.

My mattress is gone, ruined from the attack, only a wooden board sits where the mattress and the box spring used to sit. I grab my sketchpad from off my desk and sit on the floor with my back against the frame. I close my eyes, trying to center myself and feel as Sage travels. I sigh as she appears in front of me, uncertainty radiating from her.

She tosses a water bottle into my lap.

“I really don’t want to argue with you right now, Sage.”

“Then you can drink. Ashe says it’s good for you.”

I twist off the top and chug half of it down. “Thanks.”

“What’re you doing?”

I replace the lid and lift the bottle. “Drinking water.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Sage, I love you, but you got to give me room when I’m pissed so I can calm down.” I set the water bottle onto the floor and open my sketchpad to a clean page.

“So, you’re going to draw?”

“Yes. It helps calm me.”

She drops to sit across from me, thumping her water bottle against a knee.

I start sketching her face, waiting her out.

“I know you’re angry with me,” she finally says.

“I’m not angry with you. I’m pissed at this entire situation. There’s a difference.”

She chews on her lip while picking at my carpet. “Zeke.”

I shade in by her eye and smudge it with my finger. “Yeah?”

“This