The Survivors, стр. 89

Kieran went in to get Audrey’s bottle and came back out to find Mia had pulled up a spare chair next to his dad. Brian had a cushion across his lap and Audrey lay on it, cradled in his arms. Kieran looked to Mia, who shrugged.

‘He wanted to hold her. He’s doing a good job.’

Kieran watched Brian stroke Audrey’s fine baby hair with his large palm. She reached for his thumb. Brian gazed down at her and smiled.

‘He’s strong,’ he said. ‘From the day he was born he was like this. A little champion. Aren’t you? My little mate.’

‘He thinks she’s you,’ Mia whispered.

‘Or Finn.’

She shook her head, smiling. ‘He said your name before. It’s you.’

Kieran looked at Mia as she turned back to his dad and daughter. He wasn’t sure if he believed her, but it didn’t really matter. He loved that she’d said it.

‘I’ll go and start dinner,’ he said at last.

‘I’ll go.’ Mia got up and gave him her seat. ‘You supervise this.’

Kieran pulled up the chair and sat down beside Brian and Audrey, listening to the sounds floating down the hall from the kitchen and the gentle wash of the tide.

‘I’m sorry,’ Kieran said quietly. ‘I’m sorry about what happened to Finn. I really hope you know that.’

Brian glanced up, then back down at Audrey, the faint smile on his face never changing. It was impossible to know if he understood. Kieran searched his milky eyes for any sign of lucidity, something more than a confused man lost to illness. He could see nothing.

Kieran opened his mouth to say more, then stopped. His dad looked happy. Relaxing in his family home, a cold drink of sorts on the table next to him, his granddaughter in his arms, listening to his beloved ocean.

Could this be enough? Kieran wondered. If this was all that was possible? If Brian didn’t remember what he thought Kieran had done, didn’t remember those black days when they lost Finn? If what had happened was gone forever, was that the same as forgiveness? Kieran wasn’t sure, but he thought about it, as they sat there together, looking out at the moon on the water.

After a while, the back door opened and Mia put her head out. She saw Audrey dozing again and dropped her voice to a whisper.

‘Dinner’s nearly ready.’

‘Thanks.’

Mia looked at Brian, who hadn’t even turned his head. ‘I guess we’ll offer him some? See if he’ll take it?’

‘Yeah.’ Kieran gave her a small smile. ‘He still seems quite out of it. He missed his perfect cue to blink to life and tell me that nothing that happened to Finn was my fault and he loves me and forgives me.’

‘That’s annoying.’ Mia trailed her fingers over Kieran’s hand as she moved past. ‘I still love you, for what it’s worth. And Audrey does, I’m pretty sure.’

‘Thank you. Me too.’ Kieran looked at her, leaning against the railing. The night sky was big behind her. ‘We should get married, Mia. You and me.’

‘Yeah –’ She started to smile but was forced to stifle a yawn, covering her mouth as they both laughed. ‘God, I’m sorry. I am so tired. But yes, definitely.’ She smiled at him, for real this time. ‘I think we should, too.’

‘We could do it soon, when we get home. Don’t you reckon? This autumn or something, before it gets too cold.’

‘That sounds nice. Get Audrey a little bridesmaid’s outfit.’ Mia leaned in, put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him gently. ‘Let’s do it. It’d be really good. I’d love it.’

‘I would too,’ Kieran said. ‘It’d be great.’

They looked at each other for a long minute, grinning. Even Brian looked happy.

‘Do you think anyone would come?’ Kieran said, looking from his dad to the quiet house.

‘You mean your mum? She’ll come.’

‘Really?’

‘She will,’ Mia said. ‘She’s hurt right now. And maybe she hasn’t handled all this as well as she could have, but if she didn’t love you, you’d have found out for sure twelve years ago.’

Kieran sat for a moment, thinking about that.

‘It’s so weird, isn’t it? How one thing can change so much,’ he said. ‘If that storm had fizzled out at sea, or hit a few kilometres further up the coast, who knows what would have happened? Or wouldn’t? Finn would probably still be here. Dad would still be like this, I guess, but these last few years wouldn’t have been the same at all. Change that one day and everything would have been different.’

‘That’s true.’ Mia’s voice was soft in the night. ‘But maybe not all the changes were for the worse. Sometimes I think what happened to Finn –’ She paused. ‘I’m not for a minute saying that was a good thing, of course not. But you’re right. It did change your life, but I’m not sure it was in the way you sometimes think it was.’ She was lit up by the glow spilling from the house. ‘Honestly, Kieran, I think it made you a better person. Kinder, definitely. More aware of other people, more conscious of your actions.’

Kieran looked at her and she shrugged.

‘You have changed since back then.’ Mia nodded at their sleeping daughter. ‘Because if you hadn’t, if you were the same person now as you were when the storm hit, there’s no way the three of us would be together.’

Audrey snuffled and stirred a little in Brian’s arms. Kieran watched her, imagining for a second that different world and a different life. He reached out for Mia.

‘That would be no good at all.’

‘Honestly?’ Mia reached back. ‘The old you wouldn’t even care.’

Kieran woke up in the middle of the night instantly certain of something, but something that vanished as soon as he opened his eyes. He lay there staring at the ceiling, listening for the summoning cry from the cot, but for once all he could hear was the gentle wheeze of Audrey’s breath as