Pride and Prejudice and Kitties, стр. 8
“It is a pity that great cats in general are not more like her,” observed Mrs. Bennet. “Does she live near you, sir?”
“The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park!” trilled Mr. Collins.
“I think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?”
“She has only one kitten, the hairess of Rosings”
“Ah!” said Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, “then she is better off than many cats. And what sort of puss is she?”
The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park!
“She is a most charming cat indeed. Lady Cat herself says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her pedigree, because there is that in her furry face which marks the cat of a distinguished breed. She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has necessitated frequent trips to the vet. However, the cost is of no account to Lady Cat. And though more than one person has suggested putting Miss de Bourgh down, her ladyship will not hear of it.”
“Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at court.”
“Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine myself one day, has deprived the British court of its brightest ornament. Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea, and you may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter seemed born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank, instead of giving her consequence, would be adorned by her—These are the kind of little things which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay.”
“You judge very properly,” said Mr. Bennet, “and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?”
“They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.”
MR. COLLINS WAS not a sensible cat, and the deficiency of nature had been but little assisted by training, the greatest part of his life having been spent under the guidance of an irascible, ill-bred father. The subjection in which his father had brought him up had originally given him great humility of manner; but it was now a good deal counteracted by the self-conceit of a tiny brain overpowered by feelings of self-importance.
He planned on choosing a mistress for Hunsford, whom Lady Cat would approve of—a modest, useful cat who could amble daily across the lane to Rosings with him. He was hoping to select one of the Bennet sisters as a plan of atonement for inheriting their father’s estate. At first he fixed on the fluffy Jane, but Mrs. Bennet gave him a hint that she might soon be spoken for. Mr. Collins had only to change from Jane to Elizabeth—and it was soon done while Mrs. Bennet was grooming herself in front of the fire.
The next day Mr. Collins accompanied the Bennet sisters on a walk to Meryton—much to Mr. Bennet’s relief, since Mr. Collins had followed him to his library after breakfast and stretched out on one of his largest folios with a yawn, looking as if he intended to stay the entire morning.
In Meryton, the attention of the female cats was caught by a young tom of most elegant appearance whom the Bennet sisters had never seen before, walking with a red-coated cat of their acquaintance. All were struck with the stranger’s hair, which was sleek and shiny, and wondered who he could be; and Mr. Denny introduced the handsome-whiskered tom as Mr. Wickham. The whole party were mewing together very agreeably, when Darcy and Bingley were seen trotting down the street. Mr. Darcy was beginning to determine not to fix his eyes on the frisky Elizabeth, when he was suddenly arrested by the sight of the stranger, and Elizabeth, happening to see both as they looked at each other, was all astonishment at the effect of the meeting. The hair on each stood up, and Mr. Darcy growled. What could be the meaning of it?
Mr. Collins stretched out on one of Mr. Bennet’s folios with a yawn.
Mrs. Philips [Mrs. Bennet’s sister] was always glad to see her nieces; and the two eldest, from their recent absence, were particularly welcome, and she was eagerly expressing her surprise at their sudden return home . . . when her civility was claimed towards Mr. Collins by Jane’s introduction of him. She received him with her very best politeness, which he returned with as much more, apologising for his intrusion, without any previous acquaintance with her, which he could not help flattering himself however might be justified by his relationship to the young ladies who introduced him to her notice. Mrs. Philips was quite awed by such an excess of good breeding; but her contemplation of one stranger was soon put to an end by