Risky Rockstar: A Hero Club Novel, стр. 45

Chapter 20

Hayley

I start the YouTube video of the interview Kevin and I did with E! Entertainment this morning for the third time. Each time I watch it, I hope the knot in my stomach will loosen, but it doesn’t. The interview was tough. I knew it was going to be bad—I mean, we did deceive our fans with the fake relationship, and coming out about it onstage a little over a week before we told the world we weren’t really in a relationship wasn’t my finest moment, so sitting there while Nicole Fox fired question after question at us was a shitty experience all round.

Kevin had insisted on doing the interview with me since he felt as responsible as I did. It was nice having him there, feeling like we were in this together. To anyone watching, there would be no indication he’d just had his heart torn in two, but I could see he was in a mountain of pain over losing Claire.

When I watch Nicole cross her legs and lean forward, I grab a cushion, pressing it to my unsettled stomach. No matter how many times I’ve seen this, it still twists when I watch her get ready to interrogate me. I don’t know why I’m torturing myself with this except that I’m hoping eventually it won’t feel so bad.

“So Hayley, what you’re saying is that you deliberately deceived your fans with this fake relationship with Kevin. Why is that?”

I watch myself swallow hard before opening my mouth to speak, but Kevin cuts me off.

“You wanna know why we did it? It’s because questions like this come at a personal cost that you fail to appreciate. We can’t do a damn thing without people being up in our business over it.” Kevin onscreen points to the me onscreen. “She lost a baby, and all everyone could do was weigh in on whether they felt she deserved it or not. Taking bets on who the father was. Do you realize just how messed up that is?”

I see myself on the screen as I lean forward and grab Kevin’s hand. “Kev, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. None of this is okay.” Kevin doesn’t take his eyes off Nicole. “Who we fuck”—the TV bleeps out Kevin’s curse—“and when we do it has nothing to do with anyone but us. The reason why we are here today is because people have been relentless in trying to dig into our personal lives. Yeah, we’re famous, and yeah, what we do does put us in the spotlight, but we do what we do because we are passionate about our art, not so assholes can dig into our lives and dissect every goddamn thing we do.”

I see Kevin mentally try to calm himself down as Nicole Fox gapes at him. “We’re here for the fans. Because they didn’t deserve what we did, and we want to apologize. But we’re not going to go into why we did it.”

My phone rings, and I see it’s Kevin. I switch the TV off. “Hey.”

Kevin’s voice comes through the phone. “Tell me you’re not watching the interview.”

“Okay, I’m not watching the interview.” I feel better just having a friendly voice down the line.

“You’ve just switched it off, haven’t you?”

I laugh. “How did you know?”

Kevin groans. “I’m sorry, Hayley. I was hoping things would go a lot better than they did.”

“What are you sorry for? You killed it.”

After the interview, I’d gotten a call from Sam, who was less than thrilled with the response, and Kevin had to race off to an audition, so we didn’t get to chat. I left a message for him to call me when he was done so I could thank him.

“Kev, thank you for the things you said. It meant a lot to me.”

“I think I should’ve said it a different way though. I’m sorry I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have said the things I did about the baby. I’m sorry.”

“Are you kidding me? You rescued me. Again. One day I’ll have to do the same for you.”

“You already did, remember?”

I shrug even though he can’t see it. Picking him up from a bar isn’t even remotely close to how much he’s been there for me recently.

“You leave in three days, right?” Kevin asks, changing the subject.

“Right. I’m looking forward to the change of scenery.” What I don’t say is that I’m pretty stressed about the Asian part of the tour. Especially after scrolling Instagram—I never learn. The worst for me was reading comments from my fans saying they were disappointed but offering support regardless. Those slayed me.

As always, Kevin seems to know what I’m thinking and not saying. “You’re going to be great. You’ll see.”

“I hope so.”

We hang up and I rest my head on the back of the couch. It’s been a brutal day, and I’d love nothing more than to fall into the oblivion sleep would offer, but my mind is running over everything that’s happened today. A little less than a minute later, I get a call from the gate. I don’t know who it could be, and I’m really not in the mood for visitors right now.

When I peek out the window and spot a white van sitting outside my gate, I am cautiously alert. I’ve managed to keep where I stay a secret, but there’s no telling if someone followed me home and I’m about to get bombarded by the paparazzi.

I press the button for the intercom. “Can I help you?”

“I’m with A Thought a Day. I have a delivery for Ms. Stephens.”

Opening the gate remotely, I wonder if it’s my parents or Bridget who’s decided to surprise me with a gift. I don’t know what I would’ve done without Bridget over the last week. Her judgment-free support and constant messages gave me the courage to face the music today.

I watch the van slowly make its way up the drive and step out onto my porch. It’s chilly out. The late-afternoon sun