Topsy Turvy Kinda Love, стр. 58

The drive to the chalet has flown by. The snow’s coming down lightly, and I still can’t believe that winter’s here already. I’ve heard so many pregnant women say that the time to get pregnant is during the winter versus the summer because it’s always so hot. Huh, one thing to be happy about…

I stomp the snow off my shoes and ring the doorbell. Looking through the window, it looks like everything I pictured it would the first time Macy described it. She invited me up this week when I texted her after the fight with Brooks. Her in-laws are at their weekday home in the city, and I need her advice. Zara’s great, but there’s only so much she can give me, given that she isn’t in a relationship.

My eyes are probably red from crying the last day. My nose is running, and I have the sniffles. I’ve been avoiding Brooks. I know his schedule, so it’s easy to be gone when he’s at the apartment. I should be so happy.

Finding out I’m pregnant is supposed to be one of the happiest days of a woman’s life, and here I am, freezing my ass off, running away from all my problems. The door opens, and I’m greeted with her smile. My eyes get misty, and the emotions are on a roll again. Thank you, pregnancy hormones.

“Aww, sweet girl. Come in, come in.” Furiously wiping my eyes, I try to hide the tears, but it’s no use. “Let them out, Mia. It’s okay to not be strong all the time.”

They just keep coming. “Is Trevor here too?” I don’t want him to see me like this right now. Trevor’s nice, but I need Macy. No men. Men are confusing and frustrating.

“Nope, just you and me, girl.” I walk past her into the foyer.

Her eyes trail over me, taking in my appearance. “Looks like we need some ice cream, and…”

“Do you have any dill pickles?”

She winks. “Got it, grab a seat in the living room, and I’ll be right in, babe. Want anything to drink?”

“I guess just some juice or water. I can’t drink now that I’m all sorts of knocked up. That’s gonna be an adjustment.”

“Alrighty, be in soon.”

I hear her moving around in the kitchen and look at my surroundings to pass the time. I’m trying not to think about Brooks, but every single thought leads back to him.

Does he miss me?

What is he doing?

I left him a note this morning saying that I’m going to see Macy. I don’t want him to worry about us too much.

Damn, it’s crazy how right she is about this place. It feels exactly like an upscale version of a log cabin. These ceilings are huge, and there’s leather and fur everywhere. I walk over to the photos and see the family pictures from over the years. Young Trevor, to images of him with his parents and Macy at their wedding. I smile because Sadie, their rescue dog, is also in the picture. I wonder how she’s doing.

At the end of the photos on the table sits a stonework fireplace, and I plant myself in front of it, holding my hands out to warm them from the cold.

She walks up behind me, and I look over at her. “You weren’t lying. This place is extra for sure. I mean look at all this stuff. Did we walk into a hunting/ski lodge? What’s up with the antler and diamond chandelier?

Her laugh shocks me. “Yeah, it’s a little much. It’s not how I’d design it, but they like it, and I can come whenever I want, so I can’t really complain.”

“Cheers to that.”

“Let’s sit down. So, tell me what happened. You and Brooks got into a fight after you told him you were pregnant?

“He told me he wouldn’t ask me to marry him because I wasn’t in love with him.”

“Well, are you in love with him?”

“I don’t know, Macy. I think so, but I don’t know. My feelings are out of control. These emotions hurt. My heads messed up. Add in what I’m assuming are pregnancy hormones, and I have no luck piecing two thoughts together.”

“Tell me this. If he walked out the door and never came back how would you feel?”

“It’d feel like my heart was being physically ripped from my body while I was still breathing.” My admission is not what I expected.

“Honey, I hate to break it to you, but that sounds an awful lot like love to me.”

“But I don’t believe in love.”

“I think you do. Somewhere in there is a girl who believes in love. You did once. You told me so. What Chad did to you in college, sweetie, was horrible, and your father is a bad example of a man too. Are you going to punish Brooks for Chad’s actions or your fathers? Because it doesn’t seem like he has anything in common with either. Has Brooks ever given you an indication that he wasn’t being completely honest about his feelings for you?”

“No, but still, Macy. It scares me. He told me that night that we weren’t ready for that step in our lives. How does he know we’re ready to be parents? Because that’s happening whether we’re ready or not.”

“Mia, if he knows anything about you like I do, then I get why he didn’t. I wouldn’t have asked you either. He knew it would scare you shitless. He knew you would run, and what are you doing right now? Running. Proving his point. Give that man a little bit of credit. He knows a lot