Topsy Turvy Kinda Love, стр. 56
Admitting that I don’t have feelings and hoping that Brooks is happy is dirty because it’s a blatant lie. I want him to be happy because I care. I just hope that when the time comes, he doesn’t leave me shattered on the floor, split open with gaping wounds.
For once I want someone in my corner. Someone willing to fight for me. Who will set off flares just to remind me that he needs me as much as I need him.
Anxiety swarms through my veins like angry bees. As I stand outside, I calm my breathing. A sense of foreboding overwhelms me.
Mia’s never texted me to ask when I was coming home before, so I’m not sure what I’m about to walk into. Cement sits in my gut, and worry ebbs and flows in my mind. Is she going to kick me out? Stop having sex with me? I still need time… time to convince her of how good we are together.
Opening the door slightly, I catch sight of Mia, and it has my nerves standing up at attention. Mia is pacing and cracking her knuckles, an anxious habit I’ve seen her doing previously.
Obviously, something has her worked up, and I want to run to her and fix everything with a big ass hug. I don’t know the reason for the waterworks streaming down her face. Her makeup is smudged and trailing tracks down her cheeks. She’s the cutest little raccoon ever.
My heart beats as if it may just rip from my chest to get to her. “Mia, what’s wrong? What happened? You’re freaking me out right now.” She runs for me, and I brace myself to catch her as she launches herself into my waiting arms. I pull her close and inhale her cotton candy scent. My lips press a gentle kiss on her forehead. She’s not warm… so she’s not sick. I can mark that off the list. I see Zara getting her stuff together in the living room, and she gives me a warm smile. Mia leaves me momentarily to say goodbye to Zara, and I don’t miss when she whispers, “You’re right, one look does it.”
I’m confused by her comment, but I don’t question it. Zara is odd, to say the least, but she’s good for Mia. She’s there when I can’t be. She lets herself out the front door and closes it softly behind her.
Mia strolls back over to me, looping her arms around my neck and kissing me with white-hot passion unlike anything she’s given me before… as if she’s pouring her heart and soul into this kiss. That’s gotta be a good thing, right? Maybe this means she isn’t kicking my ass to the curb.
She pulls back to look at me. “How was your night?”
An odd question, but I’ll bite. Something’s clearly bugging her, so I’ll let her tell me in her own time. “It was kind of dull. I have something to tell you.”
She looks unsure but nods. “Okay?”
“You know Donatello, right? He’s been hanging out with Zara?”
“Yes…”
“We used to be friends at the compound. He was almost 14 years older than me, but he was kind. I thought for years that he was dead because that’s what we’d been told…”
She smiles at me. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Zara just spilled the beans.”
“It was just recently that I found out. I guess you could say I’ve been trying to process it all.”
She nods. “I guess that’s understandable.” Her bottom lip worries, and I can tell she’s about to tell me what’s going on, so I shut up and wait. “Brooks, I need to tell you something. Will you come sit with me on the couch?” She grabs my hand, leading me into the living room, and we both take a seat. She clasps my hands in hers and leans in close. This isn’t helping my nerves at all.
Fingers and toes metaphorically crossed that she doesn’t tell me she’s dying or some shit like that. I can’t handle it. My mind blanks to the worst possible things.
Mia sits back on the couch and takes a deep breath. She’s clearly been crying, and my heart breaks for the fear in her eyes. Fear from what she’s going to tell me? “We’re having a baby,” she whispers almost too softly for me to hear, but I do.
My world comes to a slamming halt. Am I still breathing? My heart is beating. I must be breathing, but did she just say. “W-what?” I stammer.
“I’m pregnant, Brooks. It’s yours.”
I blow out a breath and run a hand through my hair. “But how did this happen?”
“Well, your P went in my V and…”
“No, I know how reproduction works, Mia. It’s just… I thought…”
“I know. My doctor switched me to the birth control patch, and I never changed it. You’re supposed to change it every week, and it’s been a hell of a lot longer. I’m so sorry, Brooks.” She chokes up on her words, and I see another tear slip down her cheek. I can see the fear of everything that’s happened, and the last thing I want to do is blow up at her. I’m freaking the hell out, but I need to be strong for her. Her blue eyes are alive with fear, the unknown. She’s probably afraid I’ll run.
So many questions tangle inside my brain, my thoughts are shot to hell. I’m completely in shock. I always wanted kids one day, but