Love and Sorrow (Small Town Secrets Book 5), стр. 81
How to pick up the pieces of my messy fucking life.
But it didn’t matter. I couldn’t keep up this charade any fucking longer.
When I entered the den downstairs, all the kids were gathered around the big television. I hated being the bad guy, but we had to get the hell out of there. “Devon, Sarah, please get your coats.”
“What? Why?” My son clutched the game controller as if holding on for dear life, while Sarah looked up from where she was playing with her cousins.
“Because I said. Please get your coats and meet me upstairs.”
“But, mom—” Oh, Jesus. Devon started crying, stabbing at my heart.
Trying to keep my voice firm but steady, I said, “Please, Devon, I need you to do this for me.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I spied my father entering the room. “Randi, you don’t need to go.”
The tears started dropping again and, suddenly, my arms felt weak. No longer could I force any more words out of my mouth.
Dad wrapped me in an embrace, pulling me close. “Don’t worry about your coats, kids. Just keep playing.” After some time passed, he lowered his voice so that only I could hear him. “I don’t approve of your lifestyle, Randi, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I could never stop loving you.” I lay my head against his solid frame, but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even look up at him—but he continued. “But I hope I can still say what’s on my mind.”
I nodded as my dad held me close. After a bit, Devon joined us, wrapping his thin arms around both of us as far as he could stretch. I knelt over and kissed him on the cheek, glad to see that his tears had been shorter-lived than mine.
My father said, “Come on. Let’s go back upstairs and get ready to eat, okay?”
I could only say one thing without crying again. “I love you, too, dad.” And, maybe, that was all I needed to say.
Chapter Twenty-nine
The family was gathered around the table, our heads bowed and hands joined, waiting for my father to start saying grace, the final step before anyone could eat, when the doorbell rang. My dad looked over at my mother and asked, “Are we expecting anyone else?”
“No.”
“Hmm. Excuse me a moment.”
Surprisingly, the kids were behaved despite shuffling in their seats. Megan’s youngest sat in her highchair, banging the tray. “Bah-bah. Bah-bah.”
Megan shook her head at the toddler. “No bah-bah. Sippy cup.” Then she set the cup on the tray until her little one knocked it off with the spoon in her fist. I tried not to snicker, quickly recalling my days spent training children in the etiquette of eating. Then I realized I would be doing this same thing again soon enough.
Holy fuck. I’d already decided to keep the baby.
When my father returned to the dining room, Justin was right behind him. I simply stared as if he were a figment of my imagination. Devon, though, ran over to hug him. “Justin! Mom said you couldn’t come today!”
That man picked Devon up to hug him properly. “Your mom just misunderstood, buddy.”
My father said, “Everyone, this is Justin. Randi’s Justin.” He went around the table, introducing everyone by name, as I found the strength to walk over to him. The whole time, though, I wondered what his arrival meant.
Even Sarah walked past me, hugging Justin before I could reach him. When I did, I scanned his eyes, trying to read his message. But he put Devon down and embraced me. Once more, the tears tried to start up again as I allowed myself to believe Justin’s appearance was a good omen.
My mother’s voice cut through the air. “Randall, for heaven’s sake, would you fetch a chair while I get another place setting?”
Suddenly, I felt a sense of relief that I hadn’t said anything about Justin leaving—although, deep down, I knew that was still a possibility. Why was he here? I had no idea. As if he could sense my doubt, he whispered in my ear, “I promised you I’d be here, didn’t I?”
We began the meal and the two of us didn’t talk. While there was a heaviness between us, an indication of so many goddamned things unsaid, we both knew this was not the time or the place for any sort of discussion. But it was no surprise that he could charm the hell out of my family. As he took their questions, Justin quickly won over my mom and Megan—but I was almost shocked at how well he was getting along with my father and brother-in-law, too, fielding not only their questions about vehicles, but school, me, my kids. Even his humor was spot on, and I could feel us all relaxing around the table, more because of the company than the tryptophan from the turkey.
As plates got emptier, even after second helpings, my mother announced, “I think it’s time for some pie.” My father mockingly shoved his stomach out and patted it as if he couldn’t eat another bite. “But first we need to clean up a little. If I could persuade everyone to scrape their plates in the kitchen, the girls and I can bring in dessert after.”
Everyone made their way to the kitchen, obeying my mother’s command, placing their scraped dishes on the counter next to the sink before heading back to the dining room. I, however, stayed with my mother and sister until we began making several trips back and forth with pies, whipped cream, serving utensils, and dessert plates.
After serving pie to all the kids, my mother looked over at Justin and repeated the entire menu to him before asking, “What kind would you like?”
“I’m not sure yet. I think I’d like a breath of fresh air before eating more.”
“Of course.”
I asked, “Is it okay if we go out back?” Once I