You’re the Reason, стр. 50
He shook his head.
“Was I just part of the job?” I asked.
His eyes met mine. “It’s complicated.”
“I can keep up.”
He closed his eyes for a long moment. “This was only my second big assignment. I’m young, right out of the academy, and they knew I could pass for a college student. Shoot. If I didn’t go to the academy, I’d still be in college.” He dragged his fingers through his hair the way he always did when he was conflicted. “I never expected to meet a girl who I’d actually have feelings for. This was supposed to be a job. A three-month job. But, when the trail ran dry on Sydney last year, they realized I might still be useful on campus since they had a growing drug problem the dean wanted taken care of. So, they sent me back this semester. I wasn’t even supposed to be here. I wasn’t even supposed to meet you.”
“But you did.”
He nodded.
“And you can’t just pretend you didn’t.”
“I know,” he said, seemingly pained by the notion.
“So, stop being an asshole and talk to me.”
“What do you want to hear?”
“The truth.”
He walked over and sat beside me. The dipping of the mattress pulled me closer to him, but I righted myself and kept my distance. “My feelings for you were real, Soph.”
Tears pricked my eyes. I don’t know what I expected him to say, but that wasn’t it. “Were real?”
He grabbed my hands and held them. “Are real.”
“You lied.”
“I had to. You’ve gotta know that.”
“You haven’t called.”
“I didn’t think you wanted me to,” he said, his eyes riveting between mine, looking for the slightest indication of how I truly felt. “Did you?”
I was so damned confused. So much had happened. So much deception. So much back and forth. “I need to know what was real and what wasn’t.”
“My last name and me ever wanting anything to do with Chantel. Those were lies.”
I scoffed. “Thank God.”
“The truth? There’s a lot more of that. I am from Houston but I have my own apartment which is so much better than that awful frat house.”
“Is that where you took off to when you disappeared?”
“Yeah. Those were mandatory training sessions and briefings I had to attend.”
I nodded, understanding he had responsibilities.
“I did play football growing up. I even played my first two years in college before I changed paths and went to the police academy.” He leveled me with his eyes. “I don’t have a girlfriend or wife. I don’t even have a dog. Chase is my real name. And I’ve got a lot of groveling to do to win back the reason I’m about to finally crack this case. The reason I loved getting up in the morning and attending classes I didn’t even need. The reason I still smile just thinking about our time together.”
My eyes lowered to our conjoined hands. “It’s not gonna be easy.”
“Nothing worth having ever is.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Valerie and I sat at a table in the dining hall. Her normally styled hair, though concealed by the hood of her dark hoodie, hadn’t been washed in days, and dark circles plagued her eyes.
“Val, you need to eat,” I said.
She shook her head, sitting across from me with crossed arms, staring off into space.
“This isn’t healthy.”
She said nothing.
“Hey, Val,” Tina said as she passed by our table.
Valerie didn’t acknowledge her roommate as she continued to stare off into space.
Tina glanced to me with worried eyes, knowing as I did, that Val had been skipping all her classes for days.
I shrugged, the only answer I could give her, then looked back to my friend. “Do you think you’d like to go to health services?”
Valerie’s eyes flashed to mine.
“They have counselors you could talk to. It wouldn’t hurt.”
She cocked her head, her eyes pleading with me not to treat her like some fragile little flower.
I held up my hands in surrender. “It was just a thought.” She’d been through a lot. Talking to someone could help her.
I walked her back to her room a little while later, making sure Tina was there. I knew better than to leave her alone. So did Tina at this point.
I returned to my room and finished my Art History essay in record time.
My phone buzzed. I checked the screen, not recognizing the number. “Hello?”
“Is this Sophia?” Chase asked.
My nose wrinkled at his question. “Yes.”
“Hey, this is Chase Shaw,” he said. “I got your number from this other guy Chase I used to know.”
I stifled a grin, understanding what he was doing. “Oh yeah?” I lay back on my bed. “And what did this other Chase say that made you call me?”
“Well…he said you were a hell of a soccer and pool player.”
“Go on.”
“And you like football which is fucking hot.”
I chuckled.
“He did mention that you have this list of things you hope to accomplish before you graduate college.”
“I do.”
“I was thinking…maybe you need someone to help you with some of those things.”
I closed my eyes, feeling like a tween again when the boy I liked smiled at me. “I may.”
“Anything in particular I may be an expert at?”
“I’ve still yet to dye my hair blonde.”
“Not quite what I was thinking.”
I laughed. “Hmmm. I’m gonna have to think about it,” I said. “I mean, I don’t really know you.” I wasn’t lying.
“I’m actually a really nice guy,” he assured me, keeping up the charade.
“Says who?”
“Well…my mom, for one.”
I laughed, thinking back to the cute picture of him and his parents in his room at the frat. “An unbiased source.”
“Oh, my mom is as unbiased as they come. Maybe I could introduce