Station, стр. 46
Sitting against the wall, her pristine costumesoiled by gore, was Reena Song. Her beautiful head no longer sat onher swanlike neck but had been laid on her lap, eyes still open ina look of absolute horror, her beloved light crown rotating aboveher, but slowly now, as if it too was in mourning.
A figure crashed into the catatonic Hadder. "Oh no,Marlin, why," shouted Lilly into his shoulder, burying her face inhim as to escape the vile imagery around them.
Hadder stood, holding a shaking Lilly Sistine,staring at a torn apart Reena Song, the angel that Station and,especially, the Celebration Cluster didn't deserve. Her lossshattered something inside of Hadder, the last levee that had beenkeeping an ocean of anger at bay. The growing pain of her deathbrought his other losses back to the surface in a torrent.
As the crowd continued to stare at poor Reena Song,the rain continued to fall in The Soiree Noire. And althoughthey all remained dry, an icy cold had fallen, soaking Hadder tothe bones. And Hadder knew what that meant.
The love affair with Station had ended. His new homewould no longer feel like home.
PART TWO:
A Desire Called Revenge
CHAPTER 15
For two Solays and two Haelas, Hadder sat in theliving quarters he shared with Lilly Sistine, lights dimmed whennot off. Lilly came and went, bringing him food he barely touchedand playing music he barely heard. And although he appearedunmoving, a battle was being waged inside him.
As long as Marlin Hadder could remember, there was aRage within, making unspeakable demands. Hadder had employednumerous strategies over the years to keep the Rage at arm'slength. As a youth, he used sports to drain himself of the energyrequired to sustain the Rage. As an angry young man, he used combattraining to leech the Rage out lest it reach critical levels, firstboxing then Muay Thai then Brazilian jiu-jitsu. As an adult, thelove of and for his family overwhelmed the Rage, pushed it downinto a small corner of his being where it had no real power. As awidower, grief and self-hate stole his will to act, extinguishedthe life-force need by the Rage to thrive. As a Station resident,first drugs, then friendship, then love and, finally, a sense ofhome would not allow the Rage to take hold.
That sense of home was now gone, had been severedjust like poor Reena Song's head. And now all that remained was theRage. And it had new demands. And it would no longer besilenced.
"We need to talk."
Royal could tell from Hadder's tone that he wasserious, maybe dangerously so. He felt a change in his friend, thatperson who seemed to bend so much like bamboo, quickly adapting toenvironments and willing to go along with whatever the situationcalled for. The man that stood before him no longer seemed bamboo.He seemed iron.
Royal motioned towards one of the side booths atThe Royal Jelly. Solay had just broken over the city, so theBar was empty save a few manikins cleaning up from a concert theHaela before. As they sat, Royal felt compelled to offer hiscondolences. Although he, too, was Reena Song's friend, helleveryone was Reena Song's friend, he imagined that Hadder and Reenawere more than friends, but less than a couple. "Hadder, I haven'tgotten a chance to see you since it happened, so let me just say,I'm so sorry about Reena. She was one of the good ones. One of thebest of us."
"I want to know who did it."
Royal sank back a little in the booth at the look inHadder's eyes, a barely controlled mania that he had never seen inhis usually stoic companion. "No one knows, Hadder. It could havebeen anyone. Maybe just a resident tweaked out on some drugs hecouldn't handle. God knows they take enough shit in the CelebrationCluster to make anyone lose their minds."
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
"This wasn't just some fucked up resident. I sawhim. It was dark, and I didn't get a good look at his face becausehe was wearing a hood. But I saw him, evil-looking fuck with onlybad intentions swimming through his head, not party drugs."
"What are you getting at, Hadder?"
"I didn't tell you this before, haven't told anyone.Just before the Caesar found me, when I had lost my mind and waslying half-dead on the Skirt, I saw something."
"What did you see?"
"Some twisted creature came out of the Haela,Elevated to all hell, with long razors implanted along itsforearms. It came at me. The Caesar Cal got there first, fought itoff. But not before I saw its face, its wicked smile as it had mein its sights, in line for a killing blow. I saw that same smile atThe Soiree Noire. On the man that butchered Reena Song."
Royal remained silent, unsure of what to say next,scared that the wrong thing could set off this new unpredictableman who sat across from him. "What do you want to know?"
"The Skirt. What is it? What's on the other side?The man who killed Reena is there. I demand retribution."
"What kind of retribution did you have in mind,Hadder?"
"The ugly kind. The messy kind."
"What exactly do you need to know?"
"Everything."
Royal went to the bar and retrieved two beers beforebeginning. Hadder declined his drink, another bad sign. Royal tookhalf his down in one gulp, then started.
"Station is supposed to take away all those thingsthat become obstacles to one's happiness. Hated your job? Nobodyworks in Station. Were always stressed about money? Everything'sfree in Station. Didn't like the way you looked? Elevations canmake the person on the outside mirror what you feel on the inside.Couldn't handle the weight of responsibility? There is none inStation.
"Unfortunately, Station itself can't fix what'swrong with us on the inside. And in some ways, it makes thingsworse. In the Before, life is busy, often leaving little time toreally reflect, allowing one to get by on inertia. But here inStation, with nothing to do but think, there's two ways to go. One,you