Station, стр. 33

Marlin Hadder was wrong. All the drugs and sex inStation weren't enough to keep his mind from drifting backward. Andtruth be told, he didn't want to burn the past from his soul. Itwas too dear to him.

Beyond many residents' reluctance to honestly shareanything more than their bodies, Hadder had also stumbled uponanother taboo topic in Station. While his mind was too shattered tograsp where he had ended up the previous Haela, upon reflection,Hadder recalled Miles's brief introduction to the city and hadreached a conclusion. He had wandered across the Skirt, and, indoing so, had encountered one of Station's more twisted citizens.Whispers of the division floated through parties, and talk ofRisers was accidentally overheard late into Haelas when tongues hadbeen greased by drink and smoke. Now, with the image of a bladedbeast bearing down on him permanently etched into his brain, Hadderunderstood that something much more sinister was going on inStation. Something that everyone knew about but refused to discuss,as if giving voice to concerns would make them real.

Hadder was pulled from his dark thoughts by thereturning manikin who had new clothes draped across one arm and wasbalancing a large bowl of stew on a tray with the other. Haddertook the clothes and food with shy words of thanks, stilluncomfortable speaking with Station's caretakers. Before themanikin turned to go, it reached behind its back to pull outHadder's old clothing, once again folded and tied into a neatpackage. It held out the bundle.

"Burn those," was all Hadder said as he showed themanikin out. As always in Station, the stew was delicious, and theclothes were a perfect fit. Regardless of his severe questionsabout the city, Hadder couldn't deny that it offered many enjoyablebenefits.

The food and fresh clothes calmed his nerves andevaporated the gloom residing in his head better than any pill orchemically-laced drink. Now with only depressing thoughts andunnerving questions plaguing him, Hadder exited the livingquarters, grateful for their existence. The halls were similar tothose found in countless other Bar sub-levels, so he quickly foundhis way through them and up to the Bar's main floor.

Entering the main bar area, Hadder was thankful forwhat he found and even more grateful for what he didn't see. Thelast thing he wanted to walk into was another costumed party filledwith frolicking zombies offering mind-numbing concoctions. Luckily,Hadder discovered that he was in an unfamiliar Bar, one that was,for the moment, peaceful. It resembled many of the bars that Hadderhad frequented in the Before, with a long mahogany counter runningthe length of one far side with bar stools, three of which wereoccupied by residents, and tables with chairs dominating theremainder of the space. Muted lo-fi hip hop filled the room, addingto the relaxing environment.

Hadder took a seat at the bar and ordered a Number7, the kindest drink he could think of, from the glume manikinoperating the counter. After a few sips from the glass, feeling itssoft effects, Hadder turned to the nearest resident, an oldergentleman with salt and pepper hair wearing simple blue jeans, aflannel shirt, and boots. Hadder cracked a smile before speaking,the man's modest garb tickling something in Hadder's past that hedearly missed. "Excuse me, what Bar is this? I was kinda out of itwhen I got here."

The man chuckled, the act making his thick bearddance and turned to Hadder. "You weren't out of it; you weredelirious. And dangerously dehydrated to boot. We had a manikingive you an IV while you slept it off. You were lucky Cal got youhere when he did."

Hadder's face flushed with embarrassment. AlthoughStation was a haven for the out of control, Hadder still pridedhimself on being able to take care of himself at all times. "I'msorry about all that. Thanks for helping me; I really appreciateit. Is this Cal in here? I'd like to thank him as well."

"Cal doesn’t need thanking. It's his job." Hadder'sconfused look forced the man to continue. "Cal's one of theCaesars. Told me he found you fucking around down by the Skirt, outof your mind. You're blessed that he found you in time."

Hadder had an inkling of the answer but pressedanyway. "In time for what?"

The man turned back to his beer. "Never mind."

"I'm sorry; I didn't get your name to properly thankyou. I'm Marlin. Marlin Hadder."

The man's eyes remained forward. "Name's Glen. Noneed to thank me, either, Hadder. But tell me, what got you in sucha state? I mean, there's messed up, and there's what you were. Thatwasn't just a man drunk on chemicals that I saw. That was a manwith a broken spirit." Glen turned back to Hadder, his dark eyesswirling like a thunderstorm. "What broke your spirit, son?"

Glen's eyes bore holes into Hadder, but he refusedto look away. "I visited Inferno. It's a Bar in…"

"I know what Inferno is," interrupted Glen.He spat on the floor after saying the name of the Bar. "What wereyou trying to accomplish by entering that foul establishment?"

"Accomplish?"

"People only go to Inferno for three reasons.One, to lobotomize themselves, keep any real thoughts or feelingsfrom disturbing their endless summer. Two, to actually feelsomething. They've done so much fucking and drinking that only themost extreme can blow their hair back. You know what we calledthose people in the Before? Fucking serial killers. And three, tobriefly remember the past, but only to curse it and bury it deeper.Which of those fits you, son?"

Hadder pondered Glen's question and couldn't denythe truth of the options he presented. "I think it was number two,but looking back, it may have been all three. I made a bigmistake."

The storms raging in Glen's eye calmed as hedetected the truth and melancholy behind Hadder's response. "Youknow, a trip to Inferno" - another spit - "proves aninflection point for many residents. From there, you either sinklower into Station's muck, or you decide that there's more toliving than forgetting."

"Did you ever go to Inferno, Glen?"

A deep sigh. A disturbing flashback. "Long time ago.Last time I ever set foot in the Celebration Cluster." Glen shookthe memory loose. "Look, kid, if you're trying to