The Gates of Memory, стр. 98

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In the darkness of the tunnel, Alena found it too easy to relive her memories. This was the second time she’d seen Hanns unveil his power, and she hoped she wouldn’t have to see it again. He must have killed a dozen men in less than a heartbeat. She saw their bodies, most of them dead before they realized they were even under attack.

Hanns turned everything she believed about war on its head. This wasn’t a conflict of skill against skill, where the better sword or bow won the day.

Hanns didn’t fight.

He murdered.

Some part of her wanted to strip him of his power. She wanted to make him nothing more than a man again, to make him understand how unnatural his power was. But it wasn’t possible, and even if she could, she couldn’t even begin to guess the consequences. So she followed, a mute witness to the horrors he committed.

The party only carried a handful of torches. Hanns walked in front of them all, so as not to ruin what little night vision he had.

She wasn’t sure how long they had been in the tunnel when he called for her. Although her first instinct was to disobey, it would do little good. She walked ahead, until they were side by side, well ahead of the others.

He spoke softly, his words barely reaching her ears. “Do you hate me, Alena?”

She lost a step, then caught up to him again. She’d been ready for many questions, but not that one. “No. I disagree with you. And I hate what the gates allow you to do.”

The emperor smiled, and Alena suddenly suspected that his smile hid a sorrow that had no end. “Would you believe I once thought as you do?”

Alena’s first response was to say such thinking was many, many years behind him, but she bit her tongue. But he must have caught some hint of her thoughts from her expression. “It’s hard to believe, but when I was named as Anders V’s successor, I also hated the secrets. I feared the power of the gates.”

“What changed?”

“Nothing. I still hate the secrets, and I still fear the power. Although I have, perhaps, gotten too used to them.”

“Then why don’t you change everything?”

“Because I’ve not found a better path. I saw your face, back in the fort. You hated me then, for a moment.”

“You murdered them.” Alena didn’t believe she would confront the emperor like this, but she suspected he wanted her to challenge him. He invited it.

“I did,” he admitted. “But could it have been done better? Their deaths were quick and relatively painless. How would you have done it?”

She struggled for an answer, but had none.

“I’ve spent years searching for a better path than the one Anders I set for us. Every time I receive word that a public dissenting opinion has been crushed, some part of me weeps. But in my decades of rule, I’ve never invented anything better.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

The emperor laughed, soft and bitter. “Because I fear my death, and I want at least one person to understand me before I travel to the gates.”

“You exiled me.”

“And you defied me in front of others. Most Anders would have taken your head.” He paused, sighing. “And you make me angry. You remind me of the man I used to be. A man who never would have considered your soulwalking technique.”

“But you want it now.”

The emperor shook his head. “I don’t want it. But I fear the empire needs it. I don’t want to control the gates, but if I don’t, the empire will fall before the queen. I respect your idealism, Alena. But idealism crumbles like dust against the forces of this world. All that remains is what is useful.”

Alena walked in silence for a few paces before deciding how she wanted to respond. “I hope I never believe that.”

Hanns smiled at her. “For what it’s worth, I hope the same.”

They walked for a bit, then Hanns said, “I revoked your exile, Alena, before I left. I spoke with my guards, and I don’t think anyone here would turn you in. I spoke rashly, and I apologize.”

A lump formed briefly in Alena’s throat. “Thank you.”

Alena believed the conversation to be over, so she slowed. But Hanns reached out and pulled her to his side again. “If you can, don’t harm Regar. He’s a good man, twisted by the gates and the queen.” He paused. “The trappings of power are far too easy to fall into.”

She wasn’t sure if he spoke about his son or himself. “I will do what I can.”

“As do we all.”

With that, Hanns let her join the rest of the party, leading the way down the tunnel alone.

As had been the case in the tunnels before, Alena lost track of time. But their journey came to an end too soon.

Hanns came to a stop about a dozen paces in front of a wall. Unlike the walls that made up the tunnel, this wall was formed of rougher stone. Hanns stepped up to the rock and put his hand against it. He looked to Sheren. “Do you know what’s on the other side?”

She shook her head.

Hanns shrugged. “Get ready.”

With a gesture, the rocks crumbled and turned to sand. She blinked, both to clear the dust from her eyes, and to ensure she’d seen correctly.

They were greeted by an empty balcony and an endless vista. Brandt stepped over the sand first, sword ready. A moment later he sheathed it. The others followed after him.

As Alena approached the balcony edge she fought a wave of vertigo. After the long journey in the tunnels her eyes had become used to the dark. Now the bright cloudless morning sky burned her sight, which now extended for leagues.

She’d never stood over such a drop. She was no stranger to mountains, but this was