Storing Up Trouble, стр. 4

“Need I remind you that we’re in imminent danger?” she asked.

“I’d rather take my chances with the thieves over that dreadful beast.”

“There’s nothing dreadful about this horse, so I’ll thank you to stop dithering and get in the saddle.” She tossed him the reins, which he didn’t bother to catch.

“Ah, thank you, but no.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t find riding horses to be a pleasant pastime.”

“I’m not asking you to accompany me on a leisurely ride through a park. You said yourself that we need to get away from here as quickly as possible. I highly doubt you’ll be able to escape from those men on foot, especially if—”

A gunshot split the air.

Lifting her head, Beatrix discovered a man running toward them, who was, concerningly enough, aiming a pistol at Norman. Snatching her pistol purse from her bag, she fired off a shot that was less than accurate but had the fortunate effect of having the man dive behind one of the train cars.

“Come on,” she yelled to Norman, who, thankfully, jolted into motion. Instead of pulling himself into the saddle, though, he merely flung himself over the horse, his arms dangling over one side and his legs dangling over the other.

“How do you expect to ride like that?”

“I don’t ride horses,” he mumbled. “Haven’t been on one since I was seven and suffered a horrendous accident.”

Another shot from the train robber sent the horse she was on skittering to the left. After reining it in, and after realizing this was not the moment to argue with an unreasonable man, Beatrix urged the horse forward, snatching up the reins of the horse Norman was lying across before she headed for the trees, additional shots ringing out behind her.

For how long she rode, she couldn’t say, although it was at least thirty minutes—thirty minutes in which Norman went from yelping to then grunting before he finally settled into reciting what sounded like an obscure list of numbers.

“You do know,” Beatrix said finally, “what with how you’re all but bellowing out numbers, that you’re making it remarkably easy for one of those thieves to follow us, don’t you? You do recall that we left one horse behind.”

The recitation of numbers ceased. “Simple logic suggests we’re not being followed because I haven’t heard any sound of pursuit. That means the thieves found the satchel I left behind, which was what they were after in the first place, so they have no reason to chase after us.”

Beatrix reined to a stop and turned in the saddle, finding Norman still lying across his horse, his eyes squeezed shut.

“You should have said something about dropping your satchel. I could have swung around and scooped it up before we headed into the trees.”

One of Norman’s eyes opened. “I left it on purpose.”

“Because you wanted to make life easier for those criminals by giving them what they wanted?”

His other eye opened. “Hardly. I gave the thieves what they think they wanted. The research papers in my satchel are altered. I changed some conclusions and mathematical equations, which, in essence, makes the papers worthless.”

“Research papers?”

“I’m a scientist and have been having some breakthroughs with electricity lately. I’m just on my way home from a meeting with some of the greatest minds of the day, and while I spoke with many noble gentlemen at that meeting, there were also many men there who were clearly possessed of unscrupulous natures. That’s why I decided to provide myself with a decoy if someone tried to abscond with the research papers I took with me to discuss in New York.” He gave a wave of his hand. “You may continue forward. I have no desire to be on this horse longer than necessary and can only hope we’ll soon find our way out of this forest and into some manner of civilization.”

“I’ve no idea how to go about finding civilization.”

“Just keep heading north. We’ll run into a road eventually or, if not, Lake Michigan. But now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to return to distracting myself with division by three.”

“Most people find descending into prayer or singing a cheery song works like a charm when in need of a distraction. I’ve never heard of anyone using mathematics to accomplish that.”

“I’m not most people” was all he said before he closed his eyes and began reciting random numbers again, with a “divided by” and “to the third power” occasionally interrupting his recitation.

“You’re definitely not most people,” Beatrix muttered as she turned in the saddle and kneed her horse forward, pulling Norman’s horse behind her.

She continued riding for a good twenty minutes but was forced to stop when a rushing stream spread out in front of her. Turning in the saddle, she found Norman with his eyes firmly closed, his mouth moving rapidly as numbers spilled through his lips. Clearing her throat, which did nothing to attract Norman’s attention, she cleared it again, louder than the first time.

“I could use your opinion right about now,” she was finally forced to call in a voice so loud that it echoed through the trees surrounding them.

Norman opened his eyes. “You don’t strike me as the type of woman who puts much stock in the opinions of others.”

She stiffened in the saddle. “You don’t know me well enough to understand what type of woman I am. And while many people find me to be possessed of a pleasant nature, I have to admit that I’m not currently feeling pleasant thoughts toward you because, forgive me, but you have to be the rudest man I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet.”

“I’m not rude, just direct.”

“Whoever told you that bit of ridiculousness was not doing you any favors. And while I normally don’t bother asking rude men their opinions at all, I have no choice at the moment.” She gestured to the stream. “We’ll need to cross this at some point, but I’m not sure which direction I should lead us to find a shallow spot.”

“I’m afraid