King of Diamonds (All About the Diamond #2), стр. 29

need to record myself when I’m sleeping. “I wanted to beat the shit out of that pitcher yesterday for throwing at you, and Adam better hope he never sees me on the street or he’s going to sound like he’s been sucking helium. He’ll wish he didn’t have balls.” I take a deep breath, “I heard the ball hit you and I watched you fall, but I couldn’t get to you. I watched you get up and go at the mound like someone was getting the beat down. I saw you dislocate that asshole’s jaw with one punch and get escorted off the field. I heard the voice of a worried girlfriend come out of my mouth when I wasn’t allowed to see you. All I wanted to do was take care of you and take the pain away. I, I don’t know what it is, but it’s never been more present in my life than it is when I’m with you now—love, need, our connection, all of it together.” I feel tears running down my face and I didn’t know I was crying. I was so focused on Rick yesterday, I didn’t allow my emotions to affect me. I simply took control of the situation. He needed me to. He was bleeding.

Rick smiles at me, “You really did take care of me last night. I didn’t realize how much until you said it. You stopped my bleeding. You made my hand not hurt. You got me wasted, so I would relax and to dull my pain. You made it look easy.”

“It’s easy, when you want to take care of someone like I want to take care of you.”

Rick reaches for my hand and brings it back to his lips, kissing each finger and each knuckle. “I love you, baby. How about you let me take you to lunch? Then we can go home.”

I don’t want him to overdo it today and hurt. I nod, “I know just the place.” We dust off and I pull on my clothes. I take Rick to the public market, so I can get food to cook for dinner while we wait for our lunch. He’d never been there and we end up with all kinds of stuff that wasn’t on my list. I stop and run into the grocery store on the way home to get vodka, orange juice and a couple of other things. I want to make sure Rick isn’t too sore to sleep tonight.

I get everything put away. I mix up some jello shots and put them in the refrigerator to set up. Orange and grape flavors, both made with vodka. I shower quickly and take Rick to bed with me for a nap. I’m worn out and he needs a break, too.

Chapter Nine

I wake up a couple hours later and Rick is sacked out. My nap didn’t help. I kept replaying my man getting hit and going down. Every way it could’ve played out, I played it in my head. Everything from him not going down, to him not getting up. Every time I couldn’t get to him. Every time they wouldn’t let me see him. Visions continue to run through my head of things that didn’t happen. The 92 mile per hour fastball hitting him in the head and cracking his helmet. The ball smashing into his handsome face. The full bone-breaking sound of the impact of the ball colliding into him and the ground when he falls to it uncontrollably. His blood soaking his uniform and streaming from his temple. Knocked out cold. Lying there lifeless. The images and sounds invade my head and won’t leave me. Torturing me with horrible things that didn’t happen, but now I’m realizing they could. He wants me safe because he never wants to be without me again. I get it now, but he’s not going to quit playing baseball. We’re going to keep living. Life has risks unless you quit living it.

I whisper quietly to Rick, “You rest baby, I’ll be in the other room if you need me. I love you.” I kiss his forehead and close the bedroom door as I leave the room. He needs rest. I need a distraction to get my head in the right place.

I was a bad girl today, completely skipping work. Just because the team has an off day and Rick is suspended for five days, doesn’t mean I get to vacation. I quickly get my work caught up and handle all of my messages. But, what I want to do is bake. I take a suggestion from Chase, mix up some chocolate chip cookie bars and get them baking. I scrub the baking potatoes I bought for dinner and toss them in a bowl with olive oil, sea salt, and black pepper. I take the steaks out of the refrigerator to bring them to room temperature. I decide to make a compound butter and split the leftover biscuits to toast with garlic. I set a stick of butter out to soften in a bowl and add thyme, marjoram, basil, and some of the soft gooey cheese we bought on a whim at the public market. I smell the chocolate chip cookie bars and check on them, but they need a few more minutes to be GBD (golden brown and delicious). I split the biscuits and spread them with a light layer of butter, then sprinkle them with garlic salt. I pull the cookies out and set them on the stovetop to cool. I place the potatoes directly on the oven rack and turn the oven up to 400, they’ll take some time to cook. The butter has softened, so I mix it together thoroughly with the herbs and cheese. I get a piece of plastic wrap and place the butter in the middle, wrapping it up tightly, twisting the ends, and put it in the refrigerator to solidify. I find myself singing “We Belong” by Pat Benatar as I work