Ghost Monkey, стр. 13

"Husband, lay down. If she told us the price before healing me, I would have gone anyway. We will have three more children before our first returns to us. Please, do not upset her and make her go back on her word. Do not let her remove my fertile womb."

He relented and dropped back down beside her. "When we have our child we will discuss with Cadm." He kissed Ishku's brow, and the two went to bed.

People saw a happy pregnant couple, two parents incapable of staying quiet about their child. But privately, while in bed, Priv would sour about the deal made with Cadm. Ishku suffered the abuses knowing they would have a child either way, and when it was finished Piv would be overjoyed at fatherhood. She could endure for a few months. After three months, as they were otters as well as men, Ishku said, "I’m in labor. Fetch the physician."

Piv ran off as servants helped Ishku to her bed. They put pillows under her and comforted her with towels dipped in cool water. When the physician arrived, he told her to push. She felt the small body leave her, and Ishku cried at what the spirits gave her. Then her heart sank when there was no crying. Piv roared in anger and tore his clothes. Ishku wept for the next month, mourning the loss and cursing everyone she knew.

Then, after the month was up and she regained her wits, Ishku said, "It was an accident," she said. "We can try again." So they did. Three times.

When the fourth child perished, Piv said, "I am going to Cadm. I will kill her and free us of her curse."

"It is not her," Ishku said, sullen. "It is me. I will be back. Let me go for a walk, then I will drink to ease my mind."

Ishku cried when she arrived at Cadm's hut. She said, "You failed. My body is not strong enough, even with your magic. Ease my pain. Give me poison so I can end my humiliation. Then Piv will marry a woman capable of having children."

"I am sorry for your loss." Cadm formed into a woman for the first time, and tears drained from her eyes without ceasing. She captured them in a small flask, and said, "Add this to any drink and swallow it. Then you will die."

Back home, Ishku ordered a servant to bring her wine, and Ishku poured the tears into the drink. "Go, and send my husband up in an hour."

But the servant saw the despair and knew the signs of forsaking the path given to all living things, and she fled from the room down to Piv and said, "Your wife fights dharma by killing herself. She wants to release you from her."

Piv dashed up the steps. As the cup touched Ishku's lips, Piv slapped the wine away. "You will not take your life, and I will not take your honor. Walk your path of dharma. You are good with pregnant women. Continue to comfort them. But you are no longer welcome in my house. I will find a wife who can bare children so my line continues. I’m sorry for whatever sin you committed in another life to be so cursed. I pray your dharma will set it right, and you will have a multitude of children in the next life."

IT HAD BEEN WEEKS SINCE anyone outside her clients spoke to her, and Ishku shuddered as if woken from a dream. "Excuse me?"

"You've a sad face. How do I make you smile?" She couldn't tell Aavu was a tiger. She couldn't see the stripes on his skin under his robes. She could only see his intense amber eyes boring into her. The look was one of either attraction or hunger.

"Not looking at me would be a start. What are you? Men don't have those eyes." She wrapped her arms around her tighter, a hand covering her neck.

Aavu laughed and sat full lotus in front of her. "I'm Aavu, a tiger janaav. I won't eat you. Our manners don't improve, but our eating habits do."

Ishku snickered, then was solemn. "I see," she said, hiding mirth. It was the first time she felt humor in a long time. "I am Ishku, an otter janaav. I am cursed and cast out."

The tiger was confused as he looked at her face more intently. "You don't have the marking of an outcaste." He touched her forehead, and she recoiled. "So what do you mean?"

"My dharma as a caretaker remains. I help birth children. In return, I cannot birth my own."

He grunted and sat next to her against the building. "Sounds difficult. Sorry this life sucks."

"I get to watch everyone else pass on their line, unable to pass on my own." Tears welled up and spilled over her cheeks.

"And imagine, as an otter you wouldn't be nearly as aware of this. Cruel fate." It was matter of fact, like they were talking about some distant plight. Though, as an otter, she would share her mate, and he would abuse—possibly kill—her.

The two were silent, though the silence was engulfed by the din of the crowd. She looked up, sniffled, and wiped her cheeks.

Aavu did not look at her. He looked straight ahead, watching people as they passed. "As an otter it's all instinct. You don't think about not having babies or having them. You just do what you'd do. But you're janaav."

"You're not a nice man."

"Maybe you're looking at life wrong. You get to enjoy a lot you wouldn't as an otter. It is a shame you focus on one issue."

He smiled, stood up, and walked away, but Ishku was left with a dozen thoughts. First and foremost was how one of the greatest predators of Jaya was so simple and straightforward. After that, she pondered why she wasn't more grateful for what she had. Was ignorance better than awareness?

The meeting shifted Ishku's view on