Shameless (The Therapist #2), стр. 26
“Umm, excuse me, Dr. Colson,” Keisha says, and I can hear the gravel covering every letter in her words. “Your patient, Tessa, is here. She’s waiting.”
I clear my throat, which probably only makes things worse because it makes me sound guilty. “Okay. Thank you, Keisha. I’ll be right out.”
Ava smiles again as she grabs her clothes off the floor and rushes to get them on. I follow her lead and jump into my pants before going over to my mirror and making sure I don't look crazy. Ava does the same and in just a few seconds, we’re standing at my door.
“I’ll call you later,” I tell Ava, just as I place my hand on the door handle.
Ava smiles like a child who just got away with breaking the house rules.
“Mm-hmm,” she says with raised eyebrows. “It’s so good to know I can always coax that out of you.”
I look at Ava with a stunned expression, and she reaches up and turns the door handle for me before walking out of the office. She saunters past Keisha with a grin on her face, and Keisha stares daggers at me once Ava is out the door. I don't even bother looking at her, because I already know what she’s thinking. Instead, I look over at Tessa, who’s smiling with her lips pressed together.
“Good morning, Tessa,” I say, after clearing my throat again and hoping Tessa couldn't hear my desk sliding across the floor. I’m also hoping I can shake the frustration I feel from being manipulated. Again.
Chapter Eighteen
~ Malcolm ~
Tessa struts into the room wearing black jeans with a white and black crop top hoodie that shows her stomach a bit when she raises her arms. Her hair is loose and showering down her back, and her makeup is flawless today. It’s not a requirement for a woman to have her makeup on point, but Tessa seems to have focused on it today, and it’s obvious. It’s a change from how I’ve seen her in the past. She’s dressed comfortably, but she made sure it still looked good. I applaud the effort.
I, on the other hand, have to pull my shit together. As the two of us go to sit down, I notice a long brown hair on my shirt and have to rush to pull it off. My desk is closer to the wall than it should be, but it’s too late to move, so I ignore it and hope Tessa does too. Plus, I can't help but think that the office is wafting with the smell of recent sex. It’s a smell that is pungent, and one I usually enjoy because I’m kinky that way, but it’s not something my patients should be forced to deal with.
Forcing myself to ignore it all and focus on Tessa, the two of us sit down. Tessa places her hands in her lap and makes direct eye contact with me, and I feel like there's something different about her. She looks like she’s gotten over the breakup with Brandon, and came out the other side stronger than before.
“So, how have things been going?” I ask to begin our session. Tessa flashes a humble smile and nods her head.
“It’s been okay,” Tessa replies. “But I think things are about to change. I think I want them to change.”
“Interesting. How so?”
“Well, I have a date tonight.”
“That’s great.”
“It is. I’m excited, but also a little worried.”
“That’s understandable. You just got out of a two-year relationship, and now you’re about to start dating. I think nerves come with the territory.”
Tessa shrugs. “Yeah, but this is a different kind of date, so I’m extra nervous.”
“Different, how?” I ask, just before grabbing my yellow notepad and preparing to write.
“This isn’t the kind of date where I’m looking to see if the person can be a lifelong partner. I’m not looking for a husband, or even a boyfriend.” When I tilt my head in confusion, Tessa continues. “I went to Applebee’s with my best friend recently, and while I was there, I realized that I’ve gone my entire life listening to what other people told me. I’ve ignored my desires every step of the way, especially when it came to my mother. If she told me not to date around because it made me look loose or like a whore, I believed her and made sure I stayed in a relationship. She’s been trying to make me be like her for as long as I can remember, and I’ve gone along with it. But, that stops now.
“I’ve been my mother’s little doll for so long, I don’t even know what I like. I couldn’t tell you what type of man I’m interested in. I have no idea what I like sexually, or even what constitutes great sex for me. I’m not sure I’ve ever had great sex. I barely know anything about myself, and that’s ridiculous. So, when I set up this date tonight, I decided that I wasn’t looking to appease my mother by telling her this next guy is the best guy. I’m going to be completely open and honest with myself. If I don’t like the guy, I’m not going to waste my time. Maybe I’ll even have sex for the fun of it. Who knows? I just need to learn what I like, then I’ll go from there once I feel ready to slow down. Right now is about learning, however long it takes.”
I raise my eyebrows in surprise and smile. “Wow. Well, I’m impressed and I applaud you. Not many people who’ve lived under their parents’ thumb can pull themselves from underneath that pressure. It takes a strong person to break free and realize that you can do whatever you want in your life. I like it, Tessa. Good for you.”
“But, I do have a concern, though,” Tessa says, furrowing her brow a bit, and releasing a sigh. “While it all sounds good, I’d be lying if I said