Shameless (The Therapist #2), стр. 24

Everything in me wants her. Every fiber of my being, every follicle on my body, every cell that makes me human wants to walk around her naked body searching out places to touch. I want to spank her. I want to tie her to my desk somehow and fuck her until she screams loud enough to be heard on the sidewalk outside. I want it so much that I feel myself shaking as I try to hold back. I have barriers raised, but my desire is like a dinosaur throwing its weight at them, knocking them back, tilting them, keeping those barriers teetering on the edge of falling over. I have to stabilize them before it’s too late.

“Fuck,” I mumble, before clearing my throat and starting again. “Ava, this isn't how this works. You know that. You don't set the rules in this relationship. I do. Now, get up.”

Ava keeps her forehead aimed at the floor and her chin tucked into her chest.

“No, sir,” she says, nearly knocking me back.

“Excuse me?” I ask, frowning.

“No, sir,” Ava repeats without the slightest hint of fear in her voice. “The rules have changed now, sir. I’m madly in love with you, and since you can't say it back to me right now, I want you to show it to me. I need to feel it deep within me that this is real, otherwise, I don't know what I might do. No one wants to say ‘I love you’ and not have it reciprocated. And I’m not saying you have to say it if you don't mean it, but I’m begging you to show me that you want me. Take me. Control me. Own me, Malcolm, and do it with your secretary sitting right outside. Show me you want me. Please.”

In my head, I let out a scream. Ava is like an evil genius when it comes to manipulating me, and I know that’s what she’s doing. I’m fully aware that she uses sex against me to keep me close to her, and I know we wouldn't even be together if I didn't have an addiction that she feeds. The problem isn't that I don't know she’s doing it. The problem is that I do know, but still can't stop her. Even when I know I shouldn't give in, my addiction wins every time, and I feel it ready to topple over my barriers right now. I only have an ounce of strength left, and I try to use it as a last ditch effort.

“Ava, you have to get up. My client will be here any second,” I say, but it sounds shaky in my throat. It’s weak and soft, because the confident, dominant side of me doesn't want her to stop. The dom inside of me loves this and wants to punish Ava for disobeying me. The real me wants to fuck.

“Are you my dominant?” Ava asks, and I gasp under my breath.

“What?”

“Are you my dominant, Malcolm? Do you want me as your submissive? Because the Malcolm I know and love would know what to do with this pussy right here and now. The Malcolm I know would punish me for breaking his rules by fucking me until I had to crawl out of here, right past your secretary and patient on my hands and knees. The Malcolm I know could handle me.”

I don't answer. The barriers inside of me topple over and I feel my sensible side slip beneath the waves, just as I’m overcome with an ocean of kinky desire. I know what I shouldn't do, but I have to do it.

“Get up,” I say, but when I speak this time, there’s nothing but aggressiveness and certainty in my tone. Even with the voice she recognizes, Ava is still defiant, testing me.

“No, sir,” she says, as she lifts her eyes to meet mine.

Before I say another word, I bend forward and wrap my hands around Ava’s throat. She gasps as I apply pressure to the sides of her neck, making sure to stay away from her windpipe, because this is about dominance, not abuse.

“You know the rules, Ava,” I say into her ear. “You know you're not allowed to come to my place of work and do this shit, yet here you are. To add insult to injury, you disobey me. Now, you must be punished. So, get the fuck up. Now.”

I tighten my grip on the sides of Ava’s neck just a bit, and use it to help her get to her feet. With my hand still in place, I lean forward and whisper into her ear.

“I’m going to let you go, and you're going to go over to my door and lock it. Afterwards, you will walk back to my desk and bend over, laying your upper body on the desk and poking your ass out for me. Do you understand?”

Ava gasps beneath my grip. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now go.”

I let go of Ava and watch as she makes her way over to my door wearing absolutely nothing. I watch her thick ass sway back and forth, and as I watch, I unfasten my pants and let them drop to the floor. By the time Ava turns around, I’m wearing nothing from the waist down, and my hard cock is out in the open, standing completely erect and jutting out from beneath my shirt. Ava sees it and licks her lips in anticipation. I know what she wants, but she won't be allowed. Not yet.

I stand at the side of my desk as Ava walks over and does as I told her. She bends over, laying her torso on the cold surface before arching her back and sticking her ass up.

“Higher,” I demand, and Ava pokes it out further. “Good girl. Now don’t move, and don't speak. You won't say another word until I grant you permission to.”

Tempted to say, “Yes, sir,” I hear Ava swallow the words back down.

I walk around Ava’s body, taking in the sight of