The Heart of the Jungle, стр. 14

"Because those things were all true. I doubled his caseload. I buried him in work to keep him occupied."

"Well, why didn't you tell them about his affair with Brunner?"

George made a sound of dissent. "Please, don't try to deny it. Michael was sleeping with Brunner. I could tell by the look on your face. This was more than just the two of them being drug buddies. I can deal with that. What I can't understand is why you would cover it up when it could have made all the difference."

"Listen to me. It's a dead end. I know because I... took care of that situation a full year before the tragedy with Michael and Brianna occurred."

"Took care of it? How?"

George became evasive. He seemed unable to look Chris in the eye.

"Let's just say I did some things that would not have been looked upon with favor by the police."

"You didn't kill him? George, tell me you didn't kill him."

"Honestly, what kind of person do you think I am?" There was stunned outrage in his tone. "Of course not. But I did ensure he wouldn't be hanging around while I was trying to rehabilitate my star attorney."

Chris was growing increasingly uneasy with the turn this conversation had taken. These revelations were completely at odds with what he thought he knew about George MacQuery. Everything he admired about him seemed to have been a sham. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. You kept secrets from me, withheld vital information from the police, potentially derailed their entire investigation---"

"Vital information? Chris, have you listened to a single word I've said? There is no way Brunner was involved. He had no contact with Michael after I ran him out of Seattle. He wouldn't have dared to show his face in this city again."

Chris gritted his teeth. His trust in George had just suffered a terrible blow. He no longer knew what to believe.

"Chris, everything I have done, I have done for you, and for everyone else who would have suffered harm as a result of this entire scandal with Brunner. There are good men and women who, with hard work and spilled tears, made this practice what it is. What of them---and you? Can you honestly say that you would have been able to cope while that fool Callahan was trying to pin the murders on you?" Tears stood out in George's eyes, and he did not bother to hide them. "Damn it, Christian, you are like a son to me. I love you. It nearly killed me when I almost lost you the last time. I was not going to suffer it again."

"George, you know I have to go to the police now. I have to tell them what I know."

George shook his head sadly. He moved away from Chris and stood up from the couch. He walked back to his desk and leaned against it. "That will accomplish nothing. Callahan will have you thrown out on your ear."

"But---"

"But nothing," George snapped, cutting him off. "Listen, I've been gentle with you up until now because of your delicate condition--- because of what happened before. Maybe I've been too soft, too cautious in the things I say to you. It's time for you to face reality, young man. You're obsessed with this thing. You're chasing shadows and grabbing onto any loose thread you can find. It's unhealthy, and I'm afraid it's going to kill you." George folded his arms across his chest authoritatively. "I had hoped when they closed the case you would begin to accept that Michael and Brianna are gone, but I can see now that it's only served to set you back further." He leveled a stern gaze at Chris. "I want you to contact Dr. Liu the minute you get home. I want you in counseling immediately. You're in a downward spiral, Christian, and you desperately need help."

Chris squared his jaw and glared back defiantly. "We've had this discussion before."

George's expression softened. "Yes, I'm well aware of your opinion on the matter, but the alternative is unthinkable," he said.

Chris wished it was as easy as George made it seem. He wished a shrink could take all that was wrong with his life and make it right again.

He wished his heart could be so easily unbroken. It couldn't though.

Everything that mattered had been stolen from him. Even his unshakable trust in George had suffered a blow.

"I trusted you," Chris whispered. "All my life, I've looked up to you. You became what you are honestly and with hard work, in spite of where you started. After my parents rejected me, after they died, after the---" He choked up, unable to speak for a moment. His eyes drifted to the scars on his wrists, and he traced a finger over the rough flesh. "After I tried to kill myself, your love was the only thing that pulled me back."

George returned to the sofa and sat beside Chris. He reached out and took his hand. When Chris looked up into his ice-blue eyes, he could see tears standing out sharply in them. When George spoke, his voice broke with emotion. "I am still that person, little dove. I was trying to protect you. You have to believe me."

Chris looked away. George seemed so sincere. He wanted to believe he was mistaken, that George's actions hadn't been motivated by self-interest, but he was too hurt by the betrayal to make that leap. His eyes turned back to George's and his heart hardened. "No," Chris refused flatly, "I don't believe you. You were protecting yourself and your firm. It had nothing to do with protecting me."

George was stricken by this sharp repudiation. After a brief moment of reflection, he said, "I understand that you feel betrayed. I would too. Would it surprise you to know that I agree? It's been a heavy burden I've carried for a long time. There were many times I wanted to tell