Stormblood, стр. 136

of that,’ I said as the stormtech spiralled down my ribs with a newfound vigour. It would take weeks, maybe months to fully integrate into my body, even longer to control it. But I’d learn. I’d learn because there was no other option. ‘I’m not sitting here while you go after them.’

‘Vak, I will personally strap you down to this bed if I have to.’

I grinned at her. ‘You can try.’

But she wasn’t kidding. ‘The side effects could still be fatal. No one’s ever survived a stormtech infestation like that.’

‘Which is exactly why I need to help.’ I readjusted the universe’s itchiest pillow against my back. Like my medskin, it was already saturated with blue sweat. ‘I know Jae, and she knows I survived. She’ll be expecting us. I saw all the equipment they were using. And this is my brother, my responsibility.’

Katherine placed a hand on my forearm. The rumble of a lungship travelled up from some spaceport below us. ‘Artyom is his own man, Vak. None of this is you on.’

‘Maybe not. But maybe I can still reach him. I owe it to him to try.’ Taking down the Suns would mean consequences for my brother. If he survived, he’d continue to hate me for it. But if I didn’t do anything, I’d be damning him to be a part of something he would regret until his dying day. Kowalski knew me well enough to know I’d never forgive myself if that happened.

No more running from my demons. No more pretending I wasn’t a part of Harmony. There were only two sides, and my brother and I were on opposing ones. I lifted my arm and watched a trail of stormtech slither up my muscles like smoke. I’d carry this dark gift, along with all the memories and sacrifices that made me who I am, for the rest of my life.

And maybe for the first time, I was okay with that.

Kowalski briefed me about the preparations in place: the squads of Shocktroopers they were assembling, the SSC Battalions being prepped, the tactical plan, the damage control Harmony was installing throughout Compass should the plan go south. It seemed insane, even assuming it all worked out. I didn’t know how we were going to repair the damage the Suns had inflicted on Compass. But we had to try.

‘We all deserved better,’ I told her through my tight throat.

‘Who?’ Katherine asked.

‘Reapers,’ I said. ‘We stormed into a new hell every day, knowing what Harvesters, what our own bodies, would do to do us. But we kept at it, because we were doing it for each other. And Harmony lied to us. Used us. We were treated like monsters. So we became monsters.’

‘I know,’ Katherine whispered. ‘That’s on us, Vak. And we owe it to you all to try again. I owe it to you.’

I gave her a long look. ‘You knew about the things stormtech made me do. What it could make me do again. And you never treated me differently for it. You never gave up on me. Why?’

Katherine paused. The simulated wind brushing strands of blonde hair across her face. ‘Because I saw you trying, Vak. Even after all you’ve been through, I saw you wanting so hard to do the right thing, to do right by the people you care about. Even if it hurt, even if it killed you. It showed me the sort of man you are. And I knew I owed it to do right by you, too.’ Her hand tightened in mine. ‘I’m proud of you, Vak. And I want you to know we’re going to do better. Right here, right now. Doing better starts with us.’

I felt the tears beading behind my eyes. ‘Vak,’ Katherine whispered.

‘When Jae began injecting me, I thought I was never going to see you again,’ I croaked. ‘That we’d never get a real shot at this together. You have no idea how much that scared me. I’m not going to let this go by, Katherine. I swear it.’

A mellow expression came across Katherine’s face, as if everything else was melting away, laying bare her bedrock of emotions underneath. There was just her, there. Raw and honest. The person she wanted to become, wanted me to become. I wanted so hard to return it that it ached. My throat closed up as I cradled her second hand in mine, feeling the warmth of her skin. The rest of the world seemed to gently fall away from us, a sudden peace washing over me. One I hadn’t realised I’d spent so many hard years searching for. A peace I thought I’ve never have again, ever since I buried my sister with my own trembling hands and looked out at the frozen hellhole that was my home, feeling in my heart there wasn’t a place for someone like me in the world.

For the first time in years, the future seemed to have hope.

45

Hellbound

Grim almost knocked me over when he finally stirred awake, hugging me with brute strength I didn’t know he possessed. He was so happy he kept tripping over his sentences, sometimes abandoning them completely to embrace me again. His eyes were wild and happy as he sat next to me and picked at my breakfast. ‘You gave me a hell of a scare,’ he told me through a mouthful of spiced eggs.

‘I know.’

‘I mean, if you’d died, who would listen to my whining?’

I grinned at him. ‘Who said I ever listened to it?’

Grim wasn’t my only visitor, of course. Shocktroopers, Strikers, gunrunners, Primers and various other Harmony operatives came to offer congratulations, clap me on the back, or just to pay their respects. A few Reapers stopped by, although none from my former Battalion. News travels fast among SSC ranks. Saving Kowalski from the razornade in the Warren had done me a world of favours. I’d asked Jasken to pass on a request of mine to Harmony’s chief armourer and he promptly agreed to it.

Eventually, the conversation