The Right Side of My Pillow, стр. 35
There was no hiding the surprise on her face. He meant it. Cole may have been good at hiding his emotions from most people, but she could still see through his façade because he let her. His heart was bleeding on the inside, and hers was literally breaking for him as he poured his inner thoughts out to her. Jade felt for the man sitting in front of her, broken. She understood the root of his pain. On occasion, she had felt it herself. The pain of not having another living soul on the planet to help you feel grounded. Jade slid down onto the floor and kneeled in front of him. “I get it.” Gently, she reached out and touched his cheek lifting his eyes to hers. “But you can’t let it consume you. You’ve attained so much that a lot of us could only dream about. You have a beautiful home, a successful business that you’ve built from nothing, and can do just about anything you want with your time.”
“Cricket…” He hadn’t even realized he’d said her nickname and neither had Jade. It almost sounded like a gentle caress to her soul. Things were gradually falling into their rightful place. “All of those things are material. Do you remember when we were kids and would dream about this stuff? I thought it would erase all this pain. It hasn’t.”
“Okay, but you always dreamed of having a home so you could have a family of your own. You’re prepared Cole. You’re just a few steps away from happily ever after. Now, me on the other hand, I was always the one doing things that weren’t entirely thought out, but not you. I’m sure it’s probably natural to get to a certain age and start seeing your friends with roots and families of their own, and it’s making you yearn for them. It’ll come.”
“I don’t think it’s that simple. I’m nowhere near close to settling down.”
Jade whispered. “What about Elise? She has some serious expectations.”
“That relationship is fragile at best. I’m not trying to hide who I am from her, it just feels forced. The problem is I’m not sure if it’s her or me. It really doesn’t matter because I would be a fool to bring a wife and child into my life when I’m feeling like this. What kind of father or husband would I be?”
“I saw you with those kids at Serenity. You’re going to be an amazing father.”
“I’m glad you think so because I’m full of doubt. Elise and I, we both have our own reasons for being in this relationship this long. I’m not quite sure love is at the top of either of our lists. Her parents drive Elise crazy and her dating an outsider gives her a perverse sense of pleasure. She doesn’t think I know that part, but I do. Me on the other hand, I seem to break up with one woman after another as soon as things start to turn serious. The only reason I haven’t already ended things with Elise is because I’m not sure if I’m repeating bad behavior or if there really isn’t anything between us.”
Cole closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
The pain etched on his face was so hard for Jade to bear. Without thinking, she leaned into him and gently pressed her lips to his. He stilled, and she held her breath. Neither of them moved for what seemed like hours but was only seconds.
Slowly, Cole pulled away eyes clouded with confusion. What was she thinking? Jade’s face was burning with embarrassment. Quickly, she stood. “I’m sorry. I…I…” How the hell was she going to finish that sentence? She didn’t mean to what, kiss him? Was she crazy? She’d actually kissed him! After years of yearning and pretending, Jade finally kissed him, and it was nothing like her dreams. He didn’t pull her close into his arms or kiss her like she was the air he needed to breathe. Instead, he froze. She’d kissed him when he was pouring his heart out to her. He needed Cricket, but she gave him Jade. She didn’t know what to say, so Jade did the only sensible thing she could think of. She got up and high-tailed it out of there up to her room.
Cole watched her leave. He sat stunned. What the hell had just happened? Did Cricket just kiss him? Yes! SHE had just kissed HIM, and he’d sat there frozen.
Chapter 20
Jade moved as fast as her legs could carry her out of the living room without running. She’d done the unthinkable. She kissed Cole, and he just stared at her blankly. Her face was wet with tears. Just as she was about to run up the stairs, he caught her by the waist and spun her around.
“Cricket, please stop running and talk to me.”
She turned to face him. “What do you want me to say? That I’ve loved you since forever? That when you left me my heart shattered into a million little pieces? That I hate Elise! Because I do. I absolutely hate her and all the other women that came before her. Especially today, prancing around here in the afterglow of making love with you.
“I didn’t make love to her last night. We haven’t