The Right Side of My Pillow, стр. 29
“Do you know that you work too hard? Anyway, I noticed coffee seems to get you going in the morning, so I set the maker to start brewing. There’s a fresh pot if you want a cup.”
The wrinkles on her forehead relaxed just a bit. “Thank you.” She noticed his was empty. “Did you want me to refresh your coffee too?”
“Oh…no. I don’t drink coffee. I had some green tea. It’s better for me. Have you ever had any?”
The wrinkles re-appeared. “I like coffee, Cole. Please don’t use stealth psychology on me. I may not have a degree, but I know when people are trying to manipulate me.”
“That’s not…”
Jade stepped all over his words as she continued her rant. “If you’ll do it over small things you’ll do it over the big ones. I won’t have you or anybody else trying to fix me. I’m not broken. And, by the way, I work hard because I don’t have anyone else to depend on but myself.”
He put his hands up as if attempting to stop her rapid fired shots to the body. “Whoa…whoa…whoa…firecracker. I’m not trying to fix you. You’re perfect…a little quick to temper but perfect none-the-less. Can we start this morning over? How about this? I made a pot of coffee for you would you like a cup?” Jade went from zero to one hundred in a nanosecond. Regardless of what she hadn’t said, Cole knew she’d endured and harbored a lot of pain over these last ten years.
Jade was embarrassed at how she’d just gone off on him. Her emotions were all over the place. She was raw from so many different things, and they were all bubbling to the surface. Feelings that she thought were dead and buried – weren’t. She whispered. “I’m sorry. I just have a lot to figure out, and I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
Cole got up out of his chair to stand in front of her. He hated to see her look so unsettled. In his attempt to offer her comfort, and without thinking Cole pulled her into his arms. While her body was rigid, Jade allowed him to hold her. It had been so long since she’d felt the strength of someone wrapping her in a comforting embrace. For just a moment, she closed her eyes.
He could feel the beat of Jade’s heart through her robe and see the weight of the world on her shoulders. Cole pressed is lips against the top of her head as he spoke softly. “We’re not alone anymore Jade. If you let me, I promise I’ll take care of you.”
She pulled away slightly. “Too many people, including you, have made that promise to me, Cole. And all I have to show for believing it is disappointment and pain.” Her eyes filled with tears as one managed to escape and slip down the side of her cheek. “I can take care of myself.”
Cole wouldn’t let her completely out of his grasp. He couldn’t. The desire to protect her was just too strong. With a feather-light touch, he wiped away the evidence of her hurt and held her by her arms as he gazed deeply into her eyes. “I know that you’re a survivor. We both are, but what you don’t know anymore is that I would hurt myself before I’d ever willingly hurt you.” It killed him that Jade lumped him in with all the other people who had caused her pain. “Please give me a real chance to prove it.”
Jade was terrified because he seemed so sincere, and she couldn’t tell if it were just another lie. She didn’t trust herself anymore to make good decisions. “I want to, but I don’t know how.”
“Okay. Fair enough. I need to prove myself. Why don’t you let me start by spending the morning and afternoon with me? I have to be at an appointment in another hour. Come with me?”
Still apprehensive, but hoping and praying that Cole meant what he said, Jade was slightly open to it. “I don’t have anything fancy to wear.”
“Good because it’s not a fancy affair. Jeans and a t-shirt or sweats will do just fine. Come on. I know you’ll love it. It’ll make us both feel better.”
She desperately wanted to feel better. After a brief hesitation, Jade relented. “Fine. I’ll go.”
“Great! I’ll meet you in the foyer in about thirty minutes? Sound good?”
Jade wasn’t so sure about how good it sounded, but she was willing to try to start over with Cole. Neither one of them were kids anymore, so she wasn’t so sure it was fair to hold him accountable for things that happened so long ago. She needed to feel connected again. Jade just hoped, this time, was different because if it weren’t, it would shatter her.
*****
An hour and a half later, Cole and Jade pulled up in front of a beautiful country house. It sat on several acres of land and was twice the size of his own home. There were horses, sheep, cows, and all manner of farm animals. As they got out of the car, Jade turned to Cole looking a bit bewildered. “Cole where in God’s creation did you bring me? An even better question is why am I out here in the country?”
He took an exaggerated intake of breath and spread his arms wide. “Smell this fresh air! I love it out here.”
His enthusiasm was mildly contagious. A small smile crept across her face. “Yeah, and it’s mixed in with a lot of horse crap.”
Her smile always lit up her face, and it was the first one Cole had seen in years. He felt like Superman. Cole walked around