Where We Meet Again, стр. 61
I swallowed hard and looked around the space that had been so much like a second home. Knowing I’d never step foot in there again caused an ache to spread throughout my chest.
I’d never see Law again.
I knew what I had to do as soon as he’d said it. There wasn’t another option. Only, I had one condition.
“I’ll take the ten grand today and leave. Right now. I’ll pack my things and go. I need your help to get a decent car to get me away from here, though. Mine would never make it. The last thing either of us needs is my car breaking down and forcing me to come back.”
“Done. Anything else?”
“I don’t want your charity. I don’t want the rest of the money.”
“Non-negotiable.”
“That’s stupid. Give me the cash, and I’ll be gone. A monthly payment would only leave a paper trail.”
He sighed. His hands moved to rest on his hips, and his chin dropped to his chest. “You’re still a little girl, Cami.” He raised his eyes to mine. “As much as I want to make this disappear, I can’t just let you go out into the world on your own with nothing. You’re sixteen. You don’t even have a high school diploma. What kind of job do you expect to get that could provide livable wages?”
“That’s not your business. This is my condition. Take it or leave it.”
“You aren’t leaving me much of a choice.”
“I don’t have any choices, so it’s only fair, isn’t it?”
His response was to pick up the phone and remove the cash from the bank.
We stopped at my house to pack my things. After picking up the money, he took me to a used car lot and purchased a gently used, red Honda Civic. I got in the driver’s seat, and we drove separately down the highway to put my things into my new car away from prying eyes.
As I was climbing in a second time, ready to drive away from the only life I’d ever known, Law’s father stopped me by calling my name.
I froze with one foot out the door and a hand on the handle, about to slam it shut. My head turned toward his voice to see he’d stopped just beside my rear wheel.
“I wanted to say good luck. I wish you and the baby all the best. And that I’m sorry.”
With barely concealed emotion, I gave it to him as straight as I could without breaking down. “I hope the rest of your life sucks. Every day, I hope you think about the vulnerable girl you used and the child you’ll never know, and I hope it eats at you until it’s destroyed you as much as you’ve destroyed my life.”
I pulled my leg in, slammed the door, and left him standing on the side of a snowy back road.
* * *
I made one stop on my way out of town. The conditions of our agreement were to keep this a secret. I’d forced myself to leave without telling Law, but there was nothing in the world that could stop me from telling my brother where I’d gone.
That was the ultimate piece that broke me.
He was so frail in that hospital bed; the sterile white room harsh on my eyes when I entered. I hit the dial to turn down the overhead lighting to give him a more comfortable setting. At the change, his eyes flitted to where I was motionless in the doorway.
The oxygen mask covering his face looked uncomfortable and foreign. Seeing him in that state tore my already abused heart to shreds. I couldn’t believe I was about to do this. To take care of my own selfish mistakes and leave my dying brother behind.
“What are… you doing… here?”
“Shh. Don’t talk. Just listen.”
I launched into the story, not leaving out a single detail. Minutes in and his hand searched the bed blindly for mine. When he found it, the tight grip sent a rush of emotion into my throat. Sadness coated my vision, and the pain at all I was going to miss carved up a permanent residence in my chest.
“I don’t want to go.”
“You… have to.” He forced out, coughing between the words. “I’ll be… okay. And so will… you.”
“I’m so scared, Witchy.” And I really was, automatically slipping into using the old nickname I’d given him.
“You’re strong. Strongest person… I know.”
The thought made me laugh. “Yeah right, I’m weak. You’re the strong one, laid up in a hospital bed and comforting your stupid sister.”
“I love you,” he croaked.
“I love you, too. I’m going to get a job as soon as I get settled, and once I do that, I’ll start sending you money, okay? Don’t you worry. I’m still going to take care of you the best I can. And, now that I won’t be in school, I can work all the time–ˮ
His grip got painfully tight. “You will not. Finish school. Get a GED. Promise me.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can. I need the money to support us.”
“Promise. Me.”
For the first time since my brother got sick, I lied to his face. “I promise you.”
Leaving that room was like cutting off my arm and leaving it behind. From that day forward, a part of me was always missing, hollowed out like it’d been surgically removed and the surrounding tissue never grew back in its place. With Evelyn’s birth, a new piece of me grew, but it felt like an implant, rather than a replacement for the place where Ritchie once was.
22
Alarms ringing and people shouting startle me awake. A nurse grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me out of the room. “Ma’am, you need to give them room to work.”
“No! Please, help her, please!” Fear soars inside of