Where We Meet Again, стр. 21
Anger overrides my common sense and decency. I shove him in the chest with both my hands. When that doesn’t feel good enough, I shove him again, this time stinging my palms and forcing him back a step. His face morphs into shock and then turns hard when I get up on my tiptoes right into his space.
“You may have forgotten, since it’s been so long, but I like the people kissing me to like me like that.”
I don’t wait for his reaction. I can’t. Physically, mentally, I need to get out of here. By the time I get in my car, start it, and put it in reverse, Law is gone.
* * *
“Evelyn, I’m home.”
The house is dark except for the TV flickering from the living room. I pad lightly down the unlit hallway until I hit the kitchen entrance. If she’s asleep on the couch, I don’t want to upset her by flooding the room with light. The two bags from the store rustle together and swing in my grip while I search blindly for the light switch.
I work quickly, putting everything away so I can get to her. A couple hours have passed since we spoke about the popsicles, and I feel guilty for wasting any time with Law.
Never mind that my lips still tingle with the feel of his and my heart hasn’t returned to normal.
After dishing and warming two bowls of butternut squash soup in the microwave, I tear off some bread and set a tray. There’s nothing I’d rather do than relax with my baby girl on the couch.
Some Lifetime movie plays on mute. I leave it on, not in the mood for any particular show, and gently shake her.
“Hey, honey. I’m home and I have food.” I slide my hand from her shoulder to the back of her neck. Heat envelops my fingertips. Her fever is raging. “Have you had any Tylenol today?”
“Mom?” she croaks, and the sound breaks my heart.
“Sit up, sweetie. Let’s get some medicine to bring down that fever, and you can try to eat. I have popsicles, if you want one of those instead.”
“Okay.” The word barely leaves her lips before she drops her head back down to the pillow.
I take her bowl back to the kitchen and trade it for a popsicle and some Tylenol.
“All right, time to wake up for a minute.” After coaxing her to sit, she accepts the medicine and the popsicle. I wedge myself onto the couch with her, and she rests her head against my thigh. I balance the tray of soup on the arm of the couch, and between bites, I stroke her hair.
“You sure you don’t want some soup? It’s really good.”
“No, I’m okay.”
“Have you had anything to eat today?”
She shakes her head against my thigh. “No. I made some tea, but I mostly slept.”
I sift the silky strands of her auburn hair through my fingers. “Fine, but tomorrow you’re eating soup. I have enough to last us two weeks.”
“Why did you buy so much?” Evelyn asks through a yawn that pivots into a cough.
“Mistake,” I grumble around the last spoonful of my soup. “Changed my mind on the kind, and since they couldn’t put it back, the employee gave it to me for free.”
“That was nice of them.”
I redirect my hand to rub the muscle between her neck and shoulder. She isn’t complaining, but I know she has to have muscle aches by now.
“Yeah,” I answer, recalling the true events of the evening. “It sure was.”
Before long her breaths turn soft; Until the coughing starts. After I shift my dinner tray to the coffee table, I slide my leg out from beneath me to get more comfortable. Evelyn sleeps while I stroke her hair, and I get lost in my thoughts.
My words from earlier play back in my head. I wonder if Law recognizes them. If they make him feel as lost and nostalgic as they do for me. I wish I had his cell number so I could lash out at him over text, but I know it wouldn’t do us any good.
We aren’t good for one another. Whatever we had in the past was nothing more than a childhood crush. And yeah, maybe if I’d stuck around we could have made a go of things, but that isn’t how our lives worked out. I didn’t stick around. He didn’t come looking for me. The world kept on spinning until it dumped him back into my life. Too much time has gone by. The hurt and the resentment won’t stay buried forever. I can count on one hand the number of recent encounters we’ve had, and none of them were pleasant. In fact, they seem to escalate, which should give me my answer.
With my daughter in my arms, I can make sense of it all. We’ve been good for a long time, just the two of us, and I’ll do anything not to upset our balance.
My eyes grow heavy. Throwing out a hand blindly, I nab the remote from the coffee table and end the constant flickering from the TV. The room plunges into darkness.
I leave Evelyn asleep on the couch, but before I do, I cover her with the throw from the back of the couch. She thankfully doesn’t stir. Then I get ready for bed alone, just as I’ve done every night for fourteen years. Something I would continue to do on the nights that Law upset me and those he didn’t. Something that, even if we become friendly with one another, I’ll still do alone.
That’s the woman I am. I’m happy with my life and everything I’ve built for my daughter and me. I’ll be damned if I let a few encounters with him ruin that.
On this night, though, settled in my bed and waiting for