Compounding Traumas (Artemis University Book 6), стр. 51
“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that,” he rasped, wrapping himself around me tighter. “No matter what happens between us, you were meant to shine and fly high, Tamsin. You’re better than all of us combined, agra.”
I snorted. No I wasn’t. I’d done so much wrong, and such dark things, that most days I couldn’t believe I was light anything, much less a light fairy that was supposed to be so good. I might fight for justice, but I was full of wrath and vengeance, not shining light. That was for damn sure.
“Before you adjust my tattoo, will you tell me one other thing?” he muttered, waiting until I nodded. “You’re helping sneak out the hobgoblins, right? You’re doing something cool and badass and getting them free?”
I snuggled closer and kissed his cheek. “For all their magic, hobgoblins can’t open portals. That’s all they need to get free. I just sneak in and open one where they stay at the estates. I go there after my run in the morning with Keya, and she leaves a magical message only hobgoblins can see, and then I go back and open a quick portal.”
“You’re so damn cool, agra,” he chuckled.
I swallowed a yelp when he stood with me wrapped around him, his balance and strength better than mine in that way, as I would have dumped us on our heads. He pulled out his phone and tapped it a few times before moving his arms around me. I smiled and snuggled against him as OneRepublic’s “Wanted” played.
Knowing Darby, it wasn’t a coincidence that this song was playing. No, he knew with my history and upbringing that my greatest wish was being wanted. I maybe didn’t need to be needed like the song talked about, but I needed to be valued for what I did and who I was… And he did that. From the moment he’d paid attention enough to learn who I was, he’d done that.
And when he hadn’t, he’d apologized for it. I found that to be rare in a man, which was what drew me to him first.
“I love you, Tamsin,” he whispered as the song ended. “I know I won’t be the only one to love you, but that won’t ever change how much I will always love you.”
“Me too, you prickly pear,” I murmured against his chest, sliding my arms around his neck.
“But I’m your prickly pear again.” He let out a rare full laugh and picked me up, swinging me around before kissing me deeply. Then he asked me to update his tattoo. I agreed, hating to hurt him, but knowing it needed to be done.
It was time to leave Faerie then and get back to campus before anyone noticed we were gone. We said goodbye to the hobgoblins working hard while having fun, and I opened a portal back to my closet. Izzy still wasn’t in the room, so I asked him to sit, wanting to catch up on everything as if that could heal all our hurt from being apart.
“You have no idea how to do this, do you?” he asked gently, tucking some hair that fell out of my tie behind my ear.
“I’ve never had normal, besides you,” I reminded him.
“Me neither, besides you, but I’ve seen it and people getting back together.” He pulled me to sit and leaned in, running his nose along my cheek. “Do you want to know how this works?”
“Sure,” I chuckled.
“We go slow, almost like we’re starting over, but know we’re not, as we want to respect the history we have.”
I frowned. “We went slow after our last, um, thing. Why do we keep—you’re never going to keep wanting to date me if you never—going slow is going to suck for you.”
He flinched. “You’re more to me than the physical and sex, agra. I’m not with you to get laid. It would kill me if I pushed you. I’m elated you’re giving me another chance after what happened, after we had other issues. So we go at our pace, and if I have any issues, I’ll talk to you, I swear.”
“But we missed each other.”
“I’m glad you feel that way too, but we weren’t together for months, so just do what feels right.” He leaned in and bumped my shoulder when I didn’t say anything. “What do you feel right now?”
“You’ll think it’s silly.”
“Can I tell you what I want?” He waited until I nodded. “I want nothing more than to hold you. I want to lie down and simply hold you. I want to feel that close to you again and like we’re together. I missed you so fucking much, I just want you in my arms.”
Okay, so apparently he wouldn’t think it was silly because that was what I wanted too. I flopped down on my bed and smiled up at him.
Tears filled his eyes again as he moved over me and gave me a long kiss before taking off his glasses and setting them on my nightstand. He laid down and slid his arm under my head, pulling me closer. I turned to him, wanting the closeness as well.
“I added that you were a snuggle monster to my tattoo,” he whispered against my hair.
A giggle slipped out. Him too? Oh geez, so my secret wasn’t much of a secret anymore. I moved my hand to his chest and my leg over his. “Thanks. My street cred would be shit if people found out.”
He chuckled softly. “Yeah, that’s the thing we need to keep quiet most.”
“Totally.”
Gods, I really had missed him more than I had let myself admit. Simply laying there with him and knowing we were on the path back to