Wolf: SBMC Maryland, стр. 26

“You want me to meet your family?”

“Yeah.” What am I doing? What the hell am I doing? They will bring up Lauren, I know they will. They didn’t like her anyhow but that’s not the point.

“Okay.”

“But I got questions too, darlin’.”

“Ask,” she says almost like she was expecting them.

“You’re from Wisconsin. Who did you live with?”

“Ester mostly. We were street kids. Street smart. We knew how to sneak into abandoned places. We made our way. Some days it was harder than others and especially in the winter. It was so damn cold, but we made the best of it.”

“Just you and her?”

“No. There are others. We were our own kind of family,” she says with a sigh.

“You miss them.”

“Sometimes but I knew what I had to do for Eva. She doesn’t deserve to be stolen away from her family.”

“How are you gonna handle it when they leave?” her body becomes tense and I know this is the part I should stop the questions, but I can’t. I need to know where her heads at with this. I need to know what I’m facing with her.

“I don’t know.”

“You can’t follow them all over the world. You made a choice that was hard as fuck. You gave your daughter a life you knew you couldn’t give her, Krista. Why would you want to ruin that now?” Her anger seeps from her as she shoves herself up and stares at me.

“Ruin it? By keeping her safe? That isn’t ruining anything! What the fuck Wolf!”

“She has parents that can protect her, Krista. That was the fuckin’ point of givin’ her up wasn’t it?”

“Fuck you! Fuck this!” She screams climbing out of the bed. “You don’t know shit about me or my daughter!”

“That right there! Your daughter! She isn’t yours anymore, Krista. For fucks sake! You gave her the best life she could have asked for. You did what was right but you gotta get that shit out of your head. You gave birth to her. Yes, in that sense she is yours but that’s it. She isn’t your daughter, she’s theirs!” Anger rips through me and before I know it, I’m off the bed and storming toward the bathroom. I turn the shower on and rest my hands on the counter in front of me.

“Why are you so emotional about this?” She asks softly. I lift my head and tell her something that I’ve never told anyone, not even the guys.

“Rich and Margo, they aren’t my parents. Not my birth parents anyway. They adopted me. My mom was Margo’s sister. She was a piece of shit person that loved drugs more than her own kid. They took me in when I was two. I’ve been their son ever since.” Her mouth opens but no words form. She didn’t expect that and frankly I didn’t think I would tell her, but this is Krista. Shit’s different with her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It doesn’t matter. Don’t you get that? You gave them somethin’ that they couldn’t have on their own, Krista. That makes you a fuckin’ hero in my book but you need to know where to draw the line.”

“It’s not that easy,” she says tears building in her eyes.

“Yes, it is.” I cup her cheeks in my hands and force her to look at me.

“You’re stronger than you think. You aren’t livin’, sweetheart. You’re followin’ them around makin’ that your whole life and you can’t do that. She has a family and as much as that hurts you, you have to accept it.” Her tears fall, wetting my hands but all I can do is pull her into my arms and hold her. She has to realize that what she’s doing isn’t healthy for anyone, most of all herself. She deserves a life that doesn’t have her looking over her shoulder all the time. And as I think that to myself, reality hits me in the face. That’s exactly what my life is. I’m pulling her from one bullshit life to another. Even though I know that it in the back of my mind, I don’t want to let her go.

“I don’t know how to stop,” she whispers into my chest. I run my hand through her hair, keeping her held tightly.

“I’ll help you.”