Longing for You, стр. 26
That was very true. Despite butting heads on occasion, Katie hadlooked to Alexis since she was a little girl as the protector in the clan, andone who was steadfastly loyal to all in the Debrek family, be they vampire orhuman.
“I do trust you. It’s hard to put into words. I feel disconnected,out of sync.”
“In what way?” Alexis asked.
Katie put her cup down on the bedside cabinet and held up herhand. “When I look at my hand, it doesn’t seem like my own, like I’m not fullyin my body, like I’m in a movie watching myself from above.”
“It’s probably a symptom of being pulled back from the brink—”
“Of death? That’s what worries me. I feel like I lost a part ofmyself to death, and I’m frightened that I’ll never get it back.”
“You’ve been through such a lot of trauma. I’m sure it’s just away of your brain coping with what’s happened to you. I’m confident you haven’tlost anything, and that part of you that you think is lost will come back toyou as you heal.”
“Is this what it feels like to be a vampire? Like you’ve lost apart of you to death?”
Alexis nodded. “Sometimes. Becoming a vampire means losing a partof your humanity, and it’s a lot to lose. When you are turned, the blood hungeris driving you to complete the change, while your humanity is pleading to diewith dignity.”
“Is that why changing someone without their consent is forbidden?”
Alexis looked away quickly. She looked nervous all of a sudden.Then she changed the subject, saying, “Well, your parents will be heretomorrow. I’m sure seeing your mother and father will help ground you back tothis reality.”
As soon as they heard about the attack, her mum and dad insisted ontravelling back to see her. She couldn’t wait to have a hug from her mum.
“Once they make sure I’m okay, they are going to be mad at me forgoing out to The Sanctuary.”
“It’s only because they care. Always appreciate having yourparents still in your life. I miss my mother every day, even after all thistime.”
Katie wanted to ask about her mother, but that would be pushingher too far, she suspected.
“Well,” Alexis said, “I’d better go.”
“Alexis? I’m sorry you feel like this all the time. I’m sorryVictorija did this to you.”
Alexis was silent, but Katie could see a lot going on behind hereyes. “I don’t feel like it all the time. There are moments with people I careabout that make me feel alive.”
“With all people?” Katie asked.
Alexis felt like Katie had a direct line to her heart. “No, notall. Very few. Goodnight, Katie.”
* * *
“I cannot be bonded by blood,” Victorija roared and kicked thesmall table by the couch in her room.
Drasas watched as Madam Anka never flinched. That intoxicated her.Someone who didn’t fear a born vampire must be extremely confident in theirabilities. Drasas craved just to be allowed to touch this woman.
“Whether you like it or not, the facts remain the same. You oncerelied on a witch called Lillian’s advice, I believe? I am more powerful than shecould have ever dreamed, so I would take my word.”
“You believe this witch, Drasas?” Victorija said.
“Yes, Principe. I do. Anka wishes to partner with us to bring humanityto its knees, but she needs our clan, and so she needs you to be back to fullhealth. Anka is not going to give us bad advice.”
“Then how do I conquer this? Byron fell in love with her bloodbond, Amelia, but that is never going to happen to me. If I don’t drink theirblood, then I will go slowly mad, like my father did when he killed my mother.”
“Who have you exchanged blood with? One of your vampires here?”Anka asked.
“No.” Victorija began to pace in front of the fireplace. “I don’tallow anyone to feed on me.”
“Then think long and hard, because that person will need to bebrought here to feed you. In the meantime, I must go.”
Victorija didn’t even notice when Anka got up and Drasas followedher out.
Anka stopped outside the door and took Drasas’s hand. “She knowswho it is, somewhere in her subconscious.”
“I’ll bring whoever it is to her as soon as we find out who,”Drasas said.
Anka leaned in and stroked her cheek, lighting fires all overDrasas’s body. “In the meantime, we cannot halt our plans. I need your vampiresto help my witches.”
Drasas hesitated. “Victorija—”
Anka ran her fingers down Drasas’s chest and lingered on her beltbuckle. Drasas groaned, and then they heard a great crashing noise fromVictorija’s room.
Then Victorija shouted, “Get me some blood now!”
“Your Principe is in no fit state to make these decisions. Look howlong you’ve wasted already.”
“Victorija might see this as treacherous,” Drasas said.
“No, you are taking care of the clan while she cannot. I know whoyou are, Drasas, and who you long to be.”
“What do you mean?” Drasas asked.
Anka slipped her hand down to Drasas’s crotch and grasped it.Drasas leaned forward looking to kiss Anka, but she held her at bay.
“I know how you felt sitting on the street, homeless. Humanspassing you by, spitting on you or worse. When Victorija turned you, you wantedto feel power over those humans, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” Drasas would never forget the fear of living on thestreets. It drove her to be the powerful vampire she was.
Anka brought her lips to her ear and rhythmically squeezed hersex. Drasas closed her eyes and concentrated on the feelings Anka was givingher.
“I can make you even more powerful than a born vampire, Drasas. Followme and do as I say.”
“Yes, Anka.”
When Drasas opened her eyes, Anka was gone. She slammed her fistagainst the wall, making the plaster crumble. She had been on the edge oforgasm.
One of her female vampires came walking down the corridor. “Can Iserve you, Duca?”
She grabbed Meg’s hand and pulled her into one of the adjacentcastle rooms. “Yes, you can, Meg.”
Meg was a femme-presenting newly turned vampire who was eager toplease. Just what she needed.
“I need to fuck you and drink from