Longing for You, стр. 23

“You didn’t break it.”

“I was about to and would have if Bhal hadn’t stepped in. I wasgoing to keep Katie alive without her consent and only to stop the pain I wouldfeel if she died, and to tell you the truth, I’d do it again. I’m no betterthan Victorija. That’s exactly what you said to me last night, and you wereright. So I’m not fit to be Duca.”

Byron put her cigar in the ashtray and leaned forward. “I saidthat to try and bring clarity to your mind, but you and Victorija were doing itfor very different reasons. Victorija turned you for the sport of it and to addto her foot soldiers. You were doing it for love.”

Alexis hated to acknowledge her love for Katie out loud, but shehad already betrayed her feelings the previous night.

“The result is the same. I didn’t have Katie’s consent to turnher. She could be waking up this morning having to choose whether to take thefinal step and turn or let herself die. I know what pain you go through makingthat decision, while fighting the insatiable need for blood. It wasunforgivable.”

Byron stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. Shecrossed her arms and leaned on the desk.

“Consent is what we live by, both for taking blood from humans andturning them. They are high ideals, what we strive for, but we can makemistakes. I took blood and nearly killed Katie’s ancestors when I first becamea born vampire. Where would I be without their forgiveness?”

“That’s different.”

“It’s not. I failed to reach our high ideals, and I was punishedfor it, and I keep making up for it to their family every day, and I have tosay, if that had been Amelia before we became blood bonded, and she could havegained immortality through me, I would have probably done the same thing. Lovedrives us and makes us defend our lovers no matter the cost.”

“I love Katie, and I will try to make up to her for letting herdown, but she could never accept me as her lover after what I nearly did.Besides, I’m not brave enough to try and love again.”

“What if the best thing for Katie, the thing that would make herhappiest, make her safest, was your love?”

Alexis was caught cold with that remark. It made sense. Maybeputting Katie’s happiness first was more important than her fear of gettinginvolved with a human again. She needed to think about it more. “It’s allacademic anyway. I am Katie’s least favourite person, and after what I tried todo, even less so,” Alexis said.

She thought about being in Katie’s room the other night, angry ather for putting herself at risk, and they’d shared something so deep it shockedAlexis. Katie asked to kiss her. Did she truly share her feelings?

Byron said, “She doesn’t know what happened. The Principessa and Idecided to leave that to you. You can explain it to her, and I’m sure she willbe more than understanding.”

Alexis almost wished someone else had told Katie. How she was goingto do that, she didn’t know.

“So, Duca, on to the second reason why I wanted to see you. Ameliaand I have decided to take Magda’s advice and go to the New Forest. Try to findsome answers about Amelia’s past.”

Alexis was relieved. At least she’d get away from here, away fromfacing Katie and her own guilt.

“When would you like to leave, Principe?” Alexis said.

Byron returned to her chair and said, “Soon. When Katie is strongenough to travel.”

“Katie? Why—”

“Katie is going to take time to recover and get her strength back,and Amelia thought it would be nice for her to have a break with us in thecountry.”

Alexis gulped hard. “Is that wise? It could be dangerous.”

Byron looked up and smiled. “We’re not expecting a battle, Duca.This is a fact-finding expedition.”

What could Alexis say without letting Byron know what a coward shewas? It was pathetic. She had been in huge bloodthirsty battles, the oddsagainst her, nearly dying more than once, and she was more frightened of onehuman lying upstairs.

“Yes, Principe. We’ll be ready to leave whenever you are.”

“Thank you. That’s all for now.”

Alexis bowed her head and left her office. She was about to headdownstairs to her own office in the basement when she heard Amelia shouting hername. She looked up and saw Amelia running down the stairs.

“Principessa, how may I serve?”

Amelia smiled, “Good morning, Duca. I’ve just been in to seeKatie.”

“How is she?”

“Oh, bearing up. She tells me you haven’t been in to see her yet.”

What could Alexis say? Yes, I’ve been hiding from her like ascared child?

“Yes, I’ve been busy.”

“I think she’d really appreciate if you did, Duca. Give her someclosure on the whole event. Bhal’s been to see her.”

That was because Bhal was a hero, not a coward like her.

“Would you go and see her? For me, Alexis?”

Dear God. She couldn’t get out of a direct request from thePrincipessa.

“Of course, Principessa.”