The Green Lace Corset, стр. 19

Images of her dream still floated in her mind. She’d read that if you wrote dreams down soon after waking up, you remembered them more clearly. And if you got in the habit of doing so, you’d remember more in the future.

Thai ran to the door, and Anne let him out. At least she didn’t have to go to the museum until tomorrow and had the day to herself. She poured herself some coffee, crawled back into bed, and wrote in her journal: In my dream, a small blond girl filled with guilt had on the corset.

Anne could relate to that guilt. The dream pictures in her mind were blurry, but she jotted them down:

Lake, cabin, oaks, meadow = like that place up above Flagstaff where I saw the deer.

That was all she could recall. She scrolled through her travel pictures for the deer photo. As soon as she’d snapped it, the doe had bounded away. It had large eyes, tall, pointy ears, and a white-tufted tail. Anne made a mental note to print the photo out to use in a collage later.

After Sylvia had seen a deer on her first trip to Arizona, she’d said to Anne, “Those big eyes were healing. I felt as if the doe knew what a hard time I was going through.”

To honor Sylvia, Anne had been determined to see one on her own trip. There must have been a lot more wildlife in the 1960s, because Anne had to hike out into the mountains for an hour before she spotted one. The doe had stopped and gazed into Anne’s eyes, as if posing for the photo, and she understood what Sylvia had meant. Perhaps deer were Sylvia’s spirit animals.

Anne pulled her copy of Animal-Speak, by Ted Andrews, from her bookshelf and read: A spirit animal helps guide or protect a person on a journey and whose characteristics that person shares or embodies.

Anne flipped to the index, found the page for deer, and read:

Meanings associated with the deer:

Gentleness

Move through life and obstacles with grace

In touch with inner child, innocence

Sensitive and intuitive

Vigilance, ability to change directions quickly

In touch with life’s mysteries

That sounded like Sylvia. Even though she probably hadn’t been aware of the spirit-animal concept, she could still have had one without naming it. But then, Sylvia had always talked about how much she loved her beagle-basset, Lucy—maybe Lucy had been Sylvia’s spirit animal too. You could have more than one, couldn’t you?

Anne was certain the great blue heron was her spirit animal. Every time she saw one in Michigan, her heart soared. At the lake, she always watched and waited for one to fly over, or maybe even land and preen nearby. Perhaps Thai was another of Anne’s spirit animals, and that was why the cat kept trying to hang out with her. Or it could be because Anne kept feeding it?

She reread the information about the dream again and pretended the girl lived in Arizona in 1885. Anne googled “Arizona 1885” and wrote notes in her journal:

What would life have been like in 1885 in Arizona?

It wasn’t even a state until 1912. The city of Flagstaff was founded in 1881. In 1882, the Atlantic and Pacific Railroad

(later the Santa Fe) arrived and assured the community’s growth.

Main population: lumber, ranching, railroad workers.

She kept going down the rabbit hole, discovering more information about Flagstaff life in the olden days. This sparked a big question, and she brainstormed in her journal:

What would life have been like in Flagstaff about the time trains came through?

No running water—pumps, windmills, outhouses

No cars or airplanes; no bicoastal romances

No electricity

No computers

No TV

No telephones—texting, Facebook, Instagram, cell phone cameras

No cell phone camera! That had become her favorite form of technology.

Anne imagined going under a black hood to take photographs with the big-box camera on a tripod. In college, she had learned how to develop pictures in a darkroom, using harsh chemicals, and her boyfriend had kissed her in there.

On the other hand, life would have been a lot simpler in 1885. What would the advantages have been?

No air, water, noise, or light pollution

No GMOs or pesticides

More time with friends and loved ones

She scrolled through Pinterest photos and pictured herself in a bonnet, modest long dress, and lace-up boots. Perhaps she could do a series incorporating her Southwest experiences, personal pics, and vintage photo inspirations.

Late that afternoon, she lounged in a hot bath, fantasizing about her upcoming date with Sergio. She thought about his honeysuckle scent, his deep, dark eyes when he looked at her, his long, curly hair. Uh-oh. Maybe she needed to cancel. No, she was an adult and could resist him. Besides, her remorse about her disgusting behavior two nights before would keep her from jumping into bed with someone else so soon.

She dried off, wrapped herself in her kimono, and tried to decide what to wear. She picked up the corset and skirt from the floor and considered wearing them again tonight. That would be over the top, especially for the Top of the Mark. The corset would look cool with a pair of black jeans and boots. But she didn’t want Sergio to get the wrong idea. Plus, the outfit smelled of bar and sweat, and it would take forever to get the odor out. She folded the outfit into a bag to drop off at the dry cleaner later.

She slipped on her favorite green lace dress, her silver shoes, and her black coat. She certainly wouldn’t be inviting Sergio back to her place afterward, but she straightened up her apartment anyway.