This Secret Thing, стр. 79

Bess

She’d spent months in that self-defense class preparing for a moment like this, training, drilling, practicing. She’d learned all the moves and countermoves. She’d developed her strength and her reflexes. She’d been a star pupil, getting praise from her instructor. Just like everything in life, she’d strived to be the best. But now, faced with the real possibility of fighting a man holding a gun, she feared she’d forgotten it all. She feared she would fail. And she would die. But she couldn’t stay hidden any longer, reviewing her strategy in her mind, avoiding putting it into action because she was afraid to move. She’d been afraid to move all her life.

But when she heard the man talking to Casey, who’d so bravely said she was Violet, Bess sprang into action, her body moving even before her mind registered what was happening. Forget waiting for a rescuer; she was going to be one.

She didn’t know what had happened to Casey at school. All she knew was that something had happened, and she hadn’t been there for it. But she could be there now; she could show Casey: I will fight for you no matter what. I will fight for you when you can’t fight for yourself. She hadn’t done a good job of that since Casey had come home. She hadn’t done a good job of that ever. She’d stayed hidden her whole life, doing what was expected of her instead of what she wanted. Norah, she thought, Norah had always challenged her to be bolder, to live bravely. But Bess had continued to stay hidden. Not anymore.

As she approached the man, she reviewed her advantage: he couldn’t see her, so she had the element of surprise on her side. And her disadvantage: he had a weapon, and she did not. He was also bigger than her. “Your disadvantages are not your determiners,” she heard her instructor say in her head. She tried to believe that as she prepared to attack.

She would use a combination of a takedown and a sealed choke hold—something they’d spent a whole day drilling in class. She’d done this successfully before, and with an instructor larger than her. As she moved down the hall, she recalled that day, running through the motions like a highlight reel. She knew what she had to do: jump on his back and lodge her feet behind his knees, pulling back with her arms at the same time. This would cause them both to end up on the ground, with him flat on his back, his head on her lap. Then she needed to instantly get her right arm around his neck, her left hand behind his head, wrap the fingers of her right hand around her left elbow to create a choke hold, and squeeze. With no more than ten seconds of applied pressure, she could render him unconscious.

All I need is ten seconds, she thought. The girls and Polly can run out the front door as soon as I have him down. And once I’ve choked him out, I can run, too. Ten seconds is all that stands between this menace and safety. She stood right behind him. It was time.

As she jumped on his back, she yelled “Run!” and all three of them did just that. If nothing else, she thought as the two of them hit the ground, the others will be safe. The surprise attack worked: she heard his gun clatter to the floor, the wineglass hit the ground and shatter. She felt liquid splashing her leg. “Bitch!” she heard him yell, but it sounded far away, the sound dulled by the roaring wind blowing in her head. She no longer felt like a woman; she felt like an animal: a lion or a bear, something fierce and ferocious. She got him into a choke hold, using every muscle in her upper body to create the seal. She had him.

His punch caught her off guard. He aimed for her elbow, his knuckles connecting to her funny bone. Her arm lurched forward, breaking the seal she’d just created. He tugged on her forearm, loosening his head from her grasp, and scrambled away toward the gun. Her instincts took over, and instead of choosing flight, she chose fight. They both lunged for the gun, hands flailing and grabbing. She felt pain in her arm, but in a distant way. It seemed more like a dream of pain.

And then he prevailed. He grabbed the gun and their eyes met, both wild, both angry. He saw her realize she’d been beaten; he saw her run toward the front door, left open by the three who had gotten out. At least they are safe, she thought as she ran toward the open door. She heard shots ringing out behind her, saw one hit that huge pumpkin on Norah’s porch as she neared it, watched it explode. He’d missed. Perhaps the wine had made him a bad shot. Just make it to the porch, she thought. He won’t shoot you in the front yard, in plain sight. By now the girls will have called the police. They’ll be on their way.

She reached the threshold when she felt a force knock her forward. She was falling. As she fell, she saw Jason running toward her, something shiny clutched in his hand. She smiled at him, grateful that his was the last face she’d see instead of the man trying to kill her. Then Jason’s face faded, and she saw colors swirling before her eyes, all the colors of the rainbow. The colors ran together like alcohol ink, shimmering and undulating. It’s so beautiful, she thought. And then she thought nothing at all.

Nico

He pulled into his driveway so sharply that