This Secret Thing, стр. 69

to Norah it was more complex than that. Turn over the client list and make some very dangerous enemies, expose some people who would go to great lengths to avoid exposure. Mostly because a charge of this kind would open them up to further investigation. And if there was one thing Polly had learned, it was that men who were involved in a nefarious activity usually didn’t limit it to just the one thing. There would be repercussions for that kind of exposure. To give up the client list was to potentially put Violet in harm’s way. She and Norah looked at each other, and Polly understood: by staying in jail she wasn’t protecting just herself; she was protecting those she loved.

She spoke up. “Your mother has her reasons. She’s getting good counsel from wise folks about all of this. And this wasn’t what we came here for anyway.”

Violet, cool as a cucumber, turned to look at her. “This is exactly why I came here,” she said. “To tell her to tell me where the list is. Is it on a drive? Or is it a printout? Is it, like, in a spiral notebook, old-school style? What?” Violet rose from her chair and leaned across the table. She lowered her voice to a whisper, and Polly wondered if the microphones in the room could pick up sound at that level. “Tell me and I’ll go find it. I’ll be the one to turn it in, and then those men can’t blame you.”

Polly watched as Norah flinched like she’d been slapped. She began to cry. “No, honey, it’s not about who gets blamed. It’s about doing the right thing. For everyone involved. It’s not just me, honey. There are other people—”

“What about me?” Violet’s raised voice made them both jump. She pounded her fists on the table, and Polly couldn’t help but think of when she had been a baby in a high chair doing the same thing. “I thought I was the only other person who mattered to you. That’s what you used to say. Remember? You said you’d never let anything come between us. You said you’d take care of me. But you didn’t!”

“I know I did, baby. I know I did. I was wrong, OK? I was wrong to tell you that. I made promises to you that were impossible to keep.” Norah looked over at Polly, desperation and something else that Polly couldn’t read on her face. “That’s what mothers do.” And then she knew what it was she saw on her daughter’s face: absolution. Somehow, in that jail cell, Norah had found it in her heart to forgive her. In the face of her failings as a mother, Norah had found the room to forgive her own mother. “The best I can hope for is that someday you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. For letting you down. For not being honest with you. For making mistakes.”

Polly spoke up. “It’s unavoidable.”

Norah looked at her, her face impassive. But then she nodded, one quick dip of her chin.

Violet glanced over at the two of them, taking in what was happening. “You should thank Polly,” she said. “I’m not sure what I’d have done without her.”

Norah ducked her head, chastised. “I am thankful to her,” she said to the table.

“She’s a good grandmother,” Violet said, and in her voice was a challenge, a bit of the defiance Polly wanted to see in the girl. That was the one thing she hadn’t seen to remind her of Norah or herself. But Violet’s life had been different from both of theirs. She’d been cared for, even coddled, by a doting mother, never lacking for anything. It had created a passive complacency that said less about her personality and more about her situation. Without the coddling, Polly could see that Violet would find the pluck she needed to survive. She looked at her granddaughter and, once again, was reminded of herself. Usually she didn’t like what she saw when she saw herself. But when she saw herself through Violet, she felt proud and pleased. She felt hopeful for all of them.

Jim Sheridan stuck his head in the door, startling all three of them. He made a pained expression. “We should probably be wrapping things up. Saying any final words.”

“Could I have a moment with my daughter alone?” Norah asked, looking from Jim to Polly, asking for permission from them both.

Polly rose in answer to Norah’s question. “Yes, but make it quick,” said Jim. Together, the two of them left the room. They stood outside the door awkwardly. Jim Sheridan looked at a door just down the hall. She knew what he was thinking.

“Do you want to get back in there so you can listen in on them? Make sure she doesn’t say anything to hurt her own case? You don’t have to stand here with me.”

He looked at her gratefully. “Do you mind?” he asked.

“Not at all,” she said. She gestured in the direction of the door, like a maître d’ saying “Right this way.”

“I hope this was beneficial,” he said. “Seeing her.”

“It was. For Violet.”

And because he was a defense attorney and was used to being lied to, he nodded along, then gave her shoulder a squeeze just as he’d done to Violet. He walked away and disappeared behind the door into a room where he would listen in on Polly’s daughter and granddaughter in their last few minutes together till who knew when.

Violet

When the door closed behind them, her mother wasted no time leaning forward, talking rapidly in an urgent tone. “Are you really OK with her? Tell me the truth.”

“With Polly?” Violet asked, as if there could be another her.

“Yes, with Polly. Is that what you’re calling her?”

Violet raised her eyebrows. “It’s her name.” She was being insolent on purpose. She wasn’t going to hand over the keys to her kingdom to a woman who’d betrayed her, even if she was still