The Survivors, стр. 93

this time. No denial. Kieran looked at the man he had known for so many years, and it was like looking in a mirror. Kieran knew what he was seeing, because he knew it well. He had lived with it every day. Guilt.

He took another single step down the path. Just one step closer to the water and then he stopped. That was far enough.

‘What happened here, mate?’ he said.

‘It wasn’t how you think.’

‘How was it, then?’

The only sound was the sea rushing between them. Then Sean opened his mouth and began to speak.

Chapter 38

Toby and Finn were late.

Sean lay flat on his back on the deck of the Nautilus Black and felt the dip of the waves as he watched the sky. There were still patches of blue above, but if he turned his head he could see a darkness gathering in the distance. He zipped his fleece up to his chin and checked his watch. He’d give them another five minutes, no more. Toby wanted help unloading some equipment into the boat shed before the weather turned. Sean probably wasn’t going to get paid for it. There was no way he was going to get wet for it.

He heard the marina gate squeak open and propped himself up on one elbow in hope. Not Toby or Finn. Better, though. Olivia. Sean sat up properly now, feeling a familiar nervous thrill. Her curly ponytail was blowing and her skirt flapped in the breeze as she shut the gate behind her. Then the girl turned towards him and Sean felt a mild stab of disappointment.

Not Olivia. Her little sister, Gabby.

Gabby hoisted her backpack higher on her shoulder as she walked over. Her face was uncertain as she cast her eyes around the empty dock, answering her own question before she asked it. She stopped in front of the boat, looked up at the older boy and seemed to completely lose her nerve. Sean felt a bit sorry for her.

‘Hey,’ he said.

‘Hi.’ Her voice was hard to hear.

‘Looking for Liv? She’s not here.’

‘Oh,’ Gabby said, disappointed. ‘Has she been by?’

‘No, I haven’t seen her all day. You tried calling her?’

‘My mum took my phone.’ She seemed embarrassed. ‘I need to find her, though. It’s our mum’s birthday tomorrow. We won’t have time to make her cake otherwise.’

‘Fair enough. I suppose ignoring your mum’s birthday won’t get your phone back any faster,’ Sean said, and Gabby gave an unexpected smile. He hadn’t seen her do that often; she was normally so solemn. She looked back down, still smiling at her shoes, and for a second she looked even more like her sister than usual. Sean took out his own phone and tried Olivia’s number. They waited as it rang out.

‘Sorry.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m sure she’ll turn up.’

‘It’s okay,’ Gabby said, her forehead creasing. ‘If she’s not here, I think she’s probably at the caves.’

It was Sean’s turn to frown. ‘Why would she be there?’

Gabby looked up at him, as though trying to work out whether it was a genuine question. Deciding it was, she reddened and dropped her eyes again.

‘Because she meets Kieran there.’

‘Olivia meets Kieran at the caves?’

‘Sometimes.’

‘Why?’

‘To …’ Gabby shrugged, her face flushed, her eyes anywhere else. ‘Do things.’

Sean stared. ‘What things?’

‘I don’t know.’

But she clearly did know, and suddenly Sean did as well and all at once he felt a hot rush of mortification at having to learn about it like this.

‘Didn’t Kieran tell you?’ Gabby was looking at him now, her curiosity overcoming her shyness.

‘Yeah. Of course.’

Gabby nodded, but she didn’t believe him, Sean could tell. She was – God help him – throwing him a rope. He looked at this girl and at her expression tinged with the faintest hint of pity and felt a fresh sting of humiliation.

Sean thought about Kieran, or specifically, the way Kieran would watch Olivia at parties, but never quite make the effort to talk to her. Except on the odd occasion when Sean would be chatting to her. Then bloody Kieran seemed to be everywhere, with drinks and jokes and lots to say.

‘Anyway,’ Gabby said, glancing at the sky. The blue had given way to a dirty grey and the wind was whistling through the empty masts. ‘I’d better go.’

Sean blinked. He’d almost forgotten she was there. ‘You’re not going to the caves now, are you?’

Did Ash know, he wondered suddenly, about Kieran and Liv? Probably. Kieran had probably told Ash. He and Ash told each other things like that. Stuff they didn’t tell him.

Down on the dock, Gabby shifted her backpack from one shoulder to the other. The kangaroo keychain rattled against the purple zip. ‘I’ll go and check quickly. I really need to find her.’

Sean shook his head. ‘Have you ever been down to the caves?’

‘No, but –’

‘Because you can’t just go wandering around down there, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s not safe. And the weather’s not good.’

‘Well –’ Gabby seemed torn. ‘Could you maybe take me?’

Sean felt the first drop of rain. He looked along the dock. Still no sign of Toby or Finn. There was no-one around at all.

‘Please?’ The wind caught Gabby’s hair and she swept it away from her face. She looked up at him, and Sean was momentarily disarmed. ‘Our mum will be home in a few hours.’

‘You need your phone back that badly?’

‘She’s had it for nearly a week.’

Sean hesitated. Her eyes were so hopeful. He checked the sky once more. ‘Okay. But we’ll have to be fast. Tide’s on its way in.’

‘Really?’ Gabby smiled then, right at him. ‘Thank you.’

Sean shrugged. His brother was late. His friends were occupied with activities that clearly did not involve him. He was getting cold waiting out there. He felt a second spot of rain. Sean pointed to her backpack. It looked heavy.

‘Leave that here. I’ll lock it in the dry box.’

Gabby shrugged the bag off her shoulders and Sean pulled it on board.