Princess: Stepping Out of the Shadows, стр. 41

But Uncle Faisal failed to realize his dream, for he was shot dead by the brother of the zealous prince, who had long plotted his revenge. Poor Uncle Faisal never lived to see the reality of the medical centre he had envisioned for his people. And so it was in 1975 that King Khalid, who followed King Faisal, officially opened the hospital.

‘Thank you, Uncle Faisal,’ I whispered, thinking of what it had become over the past forty-four years, all the additions and renovations that had been carried out. These days there are beds for more than a thousand patients and the hospital currently has many ongoing major projects, such as the King Abdullah Centre for Oncology and Liver Diseases, as well as the Emergency Medical Services Building. No finer hospital exists in the entire kingdom.

As I lay in bed thinking of old times, my thoughts became more lucid and I recalled the previous night’s events, which felt like faded memories slowly becoming clear and filling with vivid colour in my mind. At that moment I remembered the most divine ending to the enjoyable evening spent with my son and his family. Prior to what I now realized was evidently a medical emergency, I had learned the nicest news imaginable, that our son and his wife were going to be the parents of twins. Their family would grow from four to six in only seven months.

‘Twins!’ I said aloud.

Just then Kareem walked rapidly into my room and rushed to my side. ‘Darling, you are awake.’

‘What has happened?’

‘Do you remember anything?’

‘I do remember my hands shaking very badly and I felt very weak, and then nothing more.’

‘You passed out, Sultana.’

‘It was from excitement, for sure,’ I said, wishing to downplay the event. ‘We are going to have twins in the family.’ I spoke in a gleeful tone. ‘Twins!’ I gazed at my husband with, I am sure, an expression of yearning. ‘I cannot be ill, Kareem. Not now. I am sure it is nothing serious. The thought of these twins to come will create a cure for certain. I just want to go home and rest. I will get better.’

‘I fear not, Sultana. Something is wrong, sweetheart. We must find out why you have these hand tremors and why you blacked out.’ When he saw my look of complete despair, he reassured me. ‘I have spoken with the doctor and there are many non-threatening health reasons to explain the tremors. So now, while we are here, we are going to run tests to find the cause and treat it and cure you. Then, when your mind is at rest, you will enjoy the twins so much more!’

‘But I do feel well.’

‘The doctor found your heart rate to be elevated, Sultana. Combine that with the tremors and there must be an underlying cause.’

I exhaled, feeling tears coming to my eyes. I was as frightened as I had been years ago when I was told I had breast cancer. Although a lot of time had passed since that occasion, and I was considered permanently cured of that particular cancer, like many others who have had similar problems the fear of a new malignancy rarely leaves you. Those days, while fighting cancer, I had experienced sheer terror at the realization that I might leave my small children without their mother. Now I felt similar alarm at the idea of leaving my grown children and their small babies.

I wanted to live. I wanted to see my son’s twins, now due to arrive and to bring such joy to our family, and in only seven months. I could not abide the thought of missing holding two newborn babies in my arms at once, for I am a woman who loves all children, but most especially those of my blood.

I dreaded what the tests might show, although I knew that I must submit and face whatever was to come for me in my future. Many millions of women worldwide each year confront the catastrophic reality that they will not have the good fortune to remain with their children or grandchildren as long as they would like. I often tell myself that I am no different from any other woman in her hopes to live without disease. But I admit that I am self-interested when it comes to my health and do not wish to live with the health struggles that impact so many women on this earth.

But at that precise moment I was helpless and could do no more than any other woman in the world who yearns to live for her family. Wait, and pray for God’s mercy.

* * *

‘Cancer again!’ I muttered in disbelief.

It had been a month since I had fainted and had been rushed to the hospital. During that time I had endured hospital tests, medical consultations and surgery for stage one papillary thyroid cancer. Surgery is the definitive treatment for my grade and type of cancer. In another few weeks I would undergo radioiodine therapy for the purpose of detecting and destroying any remaining cancer cells.

During those long weeks of endless medical worries, a growing consciousness of my own mortality lingered in my mind. I sat uneasily on the sofa in my hospital room, drinking warm tea in an attempt to dissipate the cold feeling within me. I could do nothing to conceal the anxiety that I am sure was clearly etched on my face. The initial feeling of excitement that had engulfed me over the joyous news of my daughter-in-law’s pregnancy with twins had been replaced by an overwhelming sadness and a longing to leave the hospital, which I was set to do that very afternoon.

I really could not believe that I had been diagnosed as having a double medical problem. First the doctors discovered that I had hyperthyroidism, which had caused the tremors. The hyperthyroidism was a blessing, however, for the tests searching for the cause of the tremors had discovered a small growth in my thyroid, which was