Uncontrollable Bachelor (Bachelor Tower Series), стр. 5

Come on, Betsy. Hurry up and get here. She’s the one person I had confided in about what transpired between Jace and me all those years ago. She knows that I loved him and he…he just walked away without any explanation. Hell, if I let Betsy know Jace was here, she’d probably march over to his table and chew his ass out for breaking my heart, and she definitely wouldn’t care who in the restaurant heard. I’m not that bold. Never have been.

The best thing I could do in the moment is pretend I didn’t see him. Staring intently at the pattern on the wallpaper was the best option right now. I almost feared that my breathing would draw his attention, but it was caught in my throat anyway as his image burned in my mind.

How the hell was it that he was even sexier than he’d been when we were young? Jace used to wear his hair in a short brush cut, but he’d never been able to grow decent facial hair. Well, that wasn’t the case any longer. I could picture myself running my hands through those gorgeous locks of his, and I’m sure that beard would tickle the inside of my thighs so sweetly.

If everything on him has matured, I wonder what his cock looks like.

The last thing I need right now is to get all hot and bothered in a restaurant. But Jace looks like he could be a cover model. A hot, sexy Speedo model.

My heart was pounding out of my chest. I’ve moved on, been with other men, but damn, that man knew how to use his cock. Then again, he wasn’t so bad with his tongue, either. He had a way of making me forget my home life, one based on control. Nothing existed when I was with him, except for the two of us. That’s why I was devastated when he left. I felt…abandoned and trapped. That’s why I went away to college, just to escape.

I hated to admit it, but home had become the last place I ever wanted to be. Even now, I can only be there for a few weeks at a time. Every new foreign country is more appealing to me than living with my father.

He wasn’t abusive, at least not physically. Instead, my father would find something every day that I had done that wasn’t living up to his expectations. I was, and probably still am, a constant disappointment. Now I don’t even bother trying to please him.

Jace had made me feel…special, perfect. A reality slap showed me that I’m neither. I squeezed my eyes closed tightly and focused on the pain that Jace had brought into my life, pushing the memories of pleasure deep into the recesses of my mind. His dumping me had probably been for the best. I never would’ve gone to medical school otherwise. Jace and I had big dreams for a life together back then. Five children, a dog, a cat, and a home with a treehouse in the backyard. Neither of us had given any thought to how we would afford it, but then again, who did at that age? All I knew was that I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

That’s not the case anymore. I love my work. I love the children I help all over the world. I love reading a good book. Hell, I even love hot chocolate on a cool night. That’s the extent of my use of that particular four-letter word. “Happily ever after” is for dreamers, and I’m no longer one of them.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips. Examining the wallpaper helped me avoid eye contact with Jace, but did nothing to get him out of my mind.

Come on, Betsy. Where the hell are you?

“I would think you’d rather be looking out over the ocean than at a wall,” Jace said from beside me.

Shit!

Betsy couldn’t be far behind him. She ran late, but never this late. If I didn’t respond, Jace would never leave. That’s the last thing I needed. Turning, without even a smile, I stated, “Didn’t know you liked lobster.”

What the hell, Shannon? You’re daring him to start a conversation.

“I’m more of a steak man,” Jace replied, pulling out the chair across from me.

“I can suggest a few places if you’d like.” Someplace other than here.

“But you’re not at any of them,” he said.

A shiver ran through me as our eyes met. He was looking at me just like he used to. But I’m not that same sweet, innocent girl. “That’s the point.”

Jace had a smug look on his face. “It would defeat the purpose of my being here.”

“Enjoy the seat while you can, because I’m meeting someone.” And Betsy, you’re going to get an earful for being late.

“I know you are. It’s me,” he said with a grin.

Crossing my arms, I said firmly, “I’m meeting my best friend.”

Not even flinching, Jace replied, “That used to be me.”

“That was a long time ago, Jace. Now we are…nothing.” It was the ugly truth.

Jace nodded. “I wish I could dispute that. Maybe I can make it up to you over dinner.”

I couldn’t hold my laughter. “You think buying me a lobster dinner will make up for breaking it off without an explanation?”

“Shannon, I didn’t just walk out. I said goodbye. You knew --”

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it. You know damn well what you did was wrong.” I had been looking forward to a fun night out with Betsy. I hadn’t been prepared to hash out the most painful parts of my past in public.

“I do. But we can’t go back and fix our mistakes,” he said.

“So you know you made one?”

Jace said, “We make choices. Ending it back then was what was best.”

For you. Not me. “I couldn’t agree with you more. Now if you don’t mind, my friend should be here soon.”

“Betsy sent me.”

No fucking way. Betsy wouldn’t do that to me.