Pride and Prejudice and Kitties, стр. 20
Mr. Darcy then went on to elucidate the whole of the painful history between Mr. Wickham and himself. Not only had Wickham deceived old Mr. Darcy as to the true nature of his character (including a vicious propensity to bite and certain indelicate behaviors involving female cats), he had even attempted to run away with Georgiana Darcy, a plan that Mr. Darcy had fortuitously frustrated before Wickham could carry it out. Since then, Wick-ham’s life had been one of idleness and dissipation, one lower and more depraved than that of the most indulged house cat.
“This, madam,” ended Mr. Darcy, “is a faithful narrative of every event in which we have been concerned together; and if you do not absolutely reject it as false, you will, I hope, acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards Mr. Wickham.”
Wickham’s life had been one of idleness and dissipation.
“You may possibly wonder why all this was not told you last night. But I was not then master enough of myself to know what could or ought to be revealed. For the truth of everything here related, I can appeal more particularly to the testimony of Colonel Fitzwilliam, who from our near relationship and constant intimacy, and, still more as one of the executors of my father’s will, has been unavoidably acquainted with every particular of these transactions. If your abhorrence of me should make my assertions valueless, you cannot be prevented by the same cause from confiding in my cousin; and that there may be the possibility of consulting him, I shall endeavour to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the morning. I will only add, God bless you.
“FITZWILLIAM DARCY”
AFTER HER FIRST perusal of Mr. Darcy’s letter, Elizabeth derived an almost perverse pleasure in biting and clawing it. As she had suspected, it had no fresh intelligence to communicate that would clear Mr. Darcy of cruelty in separating her sister from Mr. Bingley, or of his unfeeling and infamous behavior towards Mr. Wickham. But when she paused and scanned the letter more closely (and she had a strong suspicion that he had sprinkled it with catnip to assure repeated readings), she realized that, in regard to Mr. Wickham, she had no actual knowledge of his history or character but what Wickham himself had related to her. Wickham was such a fine, handsome specimen that everyone in Meryton had been captivated by his grace and good looks and no one had doubted that he was one of the most upstanding cats in the country. Elizabeth recalled how he had said he could never attack Mr. Darcy (or his character) out of his respect for the late Mr. Darcy. Yet as soon as Darcy and the Bingleys removed from Netherfield, Wickham had done exactly that. How painful it was to think that she, Elizabeth, had been so partial, prejudiced, and willfully blind!
In regard to her sister and Bingley, Elizabeth crouched in shame under a laurel hedge when she recalled the inappropriate behavior of her parents and younger sisters on the occasion of Mr. Bingley’s procuring that splendid ball. Lydia especially (who had been in heat) had chased the officers most recklessly and Mrs. Bennet had boasted to Lady Lucas of Jane’s imminent union with Mr. Bingley.
Back at Hunsford, Elizabeth learned that both Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam had called to take their leave during her absence. Elizabeth was not sorry to have missed them. She could now think only of her letter and trotted upstairs to her room with it in her mouth.
Whether or not Mr. Darcy had, in fact, scented it with catnip was uncertain. But, catnip or not, the truth of what he had communicated was indisputable.
The extravagance and general profligacy which [Darcy] scrupled not to lay to Mr. Wickham’s charge, exceedingly shocked her; the more so, as she could bring no proof of its injustice. She had never heard of him before his entrance into the _______ shire Militia, in which he had engaged at the persuasion of the young man, who, on meeting him accidentally in town, had there renewed a slight acquaintance. Of his former way of life, nothing had been known in Hertfordshire but what he told himself. As to his real character, had information been in her power, she had never felt a wish of enquiring. His countenance, voice, and manner, had established him at once in the possession of every virtue. She tried to recollect some instance of goodness, some distinguished trait of integrity or benevolence, that might rescue him from the attacks of Mr. Darcy; or at least, by the predominance of virtue, atone for those casual errors, under which she would endeavour to class what Mr. Darcy had described as the idleness and vice of many years continuance. But no such recollection befriended her. She could see him instantly before her, in every charm of air and address; but she could remember no more substantial good than the general approbation of the neighbourhood, and the regard which his social powers had gained him in the mess.
LADY CAT WAS rendered so dull and dispirited by the departure of her nephews that she invited the Hunsford party to dine with her that night. Smiling to herself, Elizabeth reflected that had she accepted Mr. Darcy’s proposal, she—Elizabeth, descendant of a common cat on her mother’s side—might by now have been introduced to Lady Cat as her future niece!
Lady Cat urged Elizabeth with more persistence than politeness to extend her stay in Hunsford, but when Elizabeth declined, her ladyship contented herself with reminding Lizzy of the advisability of traveling with a veterinarian (as she invariably did with Anne), dictating the manner in which she was to pad her cat carrier, and finally condescending to wish her and Maria