Pride and Prejudice and Kitties, стр. 2

THOUGH HE HAD visited Mr. Bingley, Mr. Bennet did not give his family the satisfaction of a description of their new neighbor. Was he long or short-haired, remote or cuddly? Did he sleep on or under the bed? The five Bennet sisters could only speculate on these fascinating questions. But their curiosity would soon be satisfied, for Mr. Bingley would be attending the assembly ball.

“If I can but see one of my kittens happily purring at Nether-field,” said Mrs. Bennet to her husband, “and all the others equally well-mated, I shall have nothing to yowl about.”

Mrs. Bennet invited Mr. Bingley to dine at Longbourn and planned a marvelous meal of mouse tails and spiced mole. But Mr. Bingley, drooling for a big-city rat, ambled off to London without warning. Mrs. Bennet was quite put out. Was he forever to be straying here and there instead of curling up contentedly at Neth-erfield?

When the evening of the ball came, Mr. Bingley arrived with his two sisters: Mrs. Hurst and Miss Caroline Bingley. Also accompanying him was his friend, Mr. Darcy, a handsome cat with an equally handsome fortune of 10,000 mice a year and an extra six lives into the bargain.

“What a catch for our girls!” chirped Mrs. Bennet.

As it turned out, Mr. Darcy was a proud, disdainful cat who looked down on country kitties and growled when Mr. Bingley suggested he ask Elizabeth to prance! Fortunately, Mr. Bingley was more accommodating, for he delighted in the company of country cats and romped spiritedly around the room with Jane. After supper, all the cats, with the exception of the proud Mr. Darcy, played with a handsome ball with a bell inside, and an excellent ball it was!

“Come, Darcy,” said he, “I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.”

“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room, whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”

“I would not be so fastidious as you are,” cried Mr. Bingley, “for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty,”

“You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,” said Mr. Darcy, looking at [Jane], the eldest Miss Bennet.

“Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.”

“Which do you mean?” and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me.”

She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

JANE WAS WARM in her praise of Mr. Bingley after meeting him at the assembly.

“He is just what a tom cat ought to be,” said she, “and he has his breeding papers, too.”

“He also has street smarts,” said Elizabeth, “since he spends a good part of his time in the sewers—that is, since he spends a good part of the season in town.”

“His sisters are pleasing, too,” said Jane. “Miss Bingley is to keep Netherfield free of mice. What a charming neighbor!”

Miss Bingley is to keep Netherfield free of mice.

Elizabeth said nothing. Privately, she thought the two Bingley sisters proud and conceited. They were of a respectable breeder in the north, a circumstance more deeply impressed on their memories than that their brother’s fortune of 5,000 mice a year had been acquired not by hunting, but by trade!

Between [Bingley] and Darcy there was a very steady friendship, in spite of great opposition of character—Bingley was endeared to Darcy by the easiness, openness, and ductility of his temper, though no disposition could offer a greater contrast to his own, and though with his own he never appeared dissatisfied. On the strength of Darcy’s regard Bingley had the firmest reliance, and of his judgment the highest opinion. In understanding, Darcy was the superior. Bingley was by no means deficient, but Darcy was clever. He was at the same time haughty, reserved, and fastidious, and his manners, though well-bred, were not inviting. In that respect his friend had greatly the advantage. Bingley was sure of being liked wherever he appeared, Darcy was continually giving offense.

WITHIN A SHORT walk of Longbourn lived a family with whom the Bennets were particularly intimate. Sir William Lucas had risen to the honor of cathood and the distinction gave him many airs.

Charlotte Lucas was a close friend of Elizabeth’s, and that the two families would meet to talk over the ball (especially one with a bell inside) was absolutely necessary.

Everyone agreed that Mr. Bingley admired Jane Bennet exceedingly. He had pranced with her twice!

“Still,” said Mrs. Bennet, feigning indifference as she licked her paw, “it may all come to nothing you know.”

Mr. Bingley pranced with Jane twice!

They discussed Mr. Darcy who, everyone agreed, was eaten up by a pride—that is, eat up with pride (for, luckily, no lions had attacked him).

“If I had 10,000 mice a year like Mr.