Pull You In (Rivers Brothers Book 3), стр. 18

I didn't want him to find a chainsaw.

I didn't want him to move the tree.

I didn't want him to get us in contact with the outside world, get us reconnected to power.

Because a needy, pathetic part of me wanted just one more day of him all to myself, one more night of sharing his warmth.

The night before, I had truly just been too cold to even think straight, had fully intended to sleep on his floor, or have him light me a fire downstairs. I just wanted to get warm.

But once I got into that bed with him? Yeah, I wanted a lot of other things. Things I knew I couldn't have, but I had enjoyed punishing myself with the possibility of them as I lay there, his solid, warm body beside me, his woodsy scent covering the sheets and pillows, his deep, sexy voice talking to me like sharing a bed was something normal for us, almost as though we were old lovers.

Then, when I woke up in his arms, after the initial panic about being seen as clingy evaporated, God, it had been so nice.

I wasn't sure I'd ever woken up in the arms of a man before. My ex was not a touchy-feely person, and definitely not a snuggler, once telling me he thought I was being smothering when I had tried to rest on his chest after sex.

I, unexpectedly, felt really at peace, safe, protected.

I let myself lay there for a while, get lost in the fantasy of it all, especially when he didn't immediately roll out from under me when he woke up to find me all over him.

But then, I reminded myself, that he was probably just being nice, trying not to embarrass me about my unconscious decision to climb him like a cat.

That, and the humiliation that swarmed my body about it, had me pulling away, getting as much distance as possible.

I made breakfast while reminding myself that we were playing house. It wasn't real life. As soon as the others showed up and we all went home, Rush Rivers would practically forget he had ever met me. And surely that he had ever shared a bed with me.

Still, a small, needy part of me wanted one more night of that fantasy, to feel his chest rising and falling under me, to breathe in his scent, to feel his heavy arms around me, to share his warmth. As if I had any right to any of that.

"Bad news or good news?" Rush asked, coming back in from the shed.

"Bad news should always go first," I informed him.

"There was no chainsaw, so we are not getting through that roadblock until someone comes up to help."

My heart leapt at that, but I tamped down the excitement. "And the good news?"

"I found a small generator and some gas. It won't do much. Keep the food cold, the water running. I didn't want to come back in here and tell you that the great outdoors was our new bathroom."

"Oh, God," I said, face twisting.

"Yeah, that was the look I was worried you'd give me about it," he said, smiling. "My sister Scotti was always fine with roughing it, but we always had to provide an indoor toilet of some sort. I think she had a fear of being bit on the ass by a snake," he said, smiling at her expense. "We used to have to build composting toilets if we were really in the sticks for any length of time. But, yeah, the generator can be hooked up to the well pump, so the water will keep coming in the way we need it to for showering and dish washing and all the like. It's not powerful enough to give us light or heat, but we can make do."

"Totally," I agreed, a little too overenthusiastic. "I mean, we got along just fine yesterday," I added, making my voice calmer.

"Exactly. I can't imagine it will be too much longer before people start missing us, worrying about why they can't get in touch. Then something is going to start happening."

"And until then, we will be fine," I agreed, not wanting to entertain the idea of being found out, having to possibly go back to our old lives just yet.

I just wanted another day of the fantasy.

Then I could deal with the sad reality.

"Yeah. I think we probably have two days worth of gas. Especially if we turn it off at night. We will make it work. You'll be dying to get back to civilization by the end of this," he joked.

"I like it here," I told him. "It's, ah, you know... it's peaceful. Not having all the demands of normal life is kind of, well, refreshing."

I went ahead and left out the fact that, if it were not for him, I would have been going stir crazy by now.

I liked to read a lot, sure, but I also liked to binge shows on Netflix or mess around on social media apps. And, of course, keep in touch with my mother.

He was right, though.

My mother had to be worrying by now.

In another day, she would be crawling the walls, calling my work, finding out if my plane landed, if I had picked up my rental car, if there was anyone who could confirm that I had made it to my destination.

If any of those things couldn't be confirmed, she would be on the phone with the local authorities, and hopping on a plane herself.

This could very well be our last day and night fully alone.

I should have been happy about that.

But, God, I just wanted more of this fantasy life where I was more than the shy office girl, where a man like Rush Rivers could notice me, want to be around me, could maybe even be in bed with me at night.

"What's the matter?" Rush asked, reading me a little too well for my comfort, especially seeing as I was having a lot of mixed feelings around