Risky Rockstar: A Hero Club Novel, стр. 84

‘get-together.’ Remember how I told you I went off on him? It was that girl’s eighteenth birthday party, but they looked so overwhelmed. It turns out one of the stagehands overheard, and because he’d seen us together earlier, he thought I was talking to you. It didn’t help that Josh looks a lot like you from behind, so he assumed I was reaming you. I threatened to get the cops, and the one girl started begging me to keep quiet about it. She said she was celebrating her birthday a week early and had fake IDs. I called them a cab, and they left. Kade, the guy told Benji it was you having sex with underage girls. Benji used that to get Hayley to do what he wanted.”

I stand and pace the deck. Fuck, I was such a dick to Hayley.

Emily stands and walks over to me. “Kade, Benji told Hayley it’s the reason I tried to kill myself.”

Fury is a red haze, preventing me from seeing straight, let alone speaking. I feel Emily’s hand on my back. “Hayley and I spoke about it, and I did an interview with Hayley’s manager this morning, setting the record straight. Don’t worry, I didn’t implicate Josh. We haven’t released it yet, but if you give us the go-ahead, she’ll post it everywhere. I asked Hayley if I could talk to you about this. You’re not a violent guy, but I figured you’d make an exception in this case. I didn’t want you to blow up and tip Benji off before we had everything in place. I wanted to do this for you. To make up for what I put you through.”

I think about how I nearly broke Josh’s nose and wonder about Emily saying I’m not a violent guy. I feel pretty fucking violent right now. I’m vibrating with anger, but I need Emily to know she didn’t need to do this for me. I can’t imagine how painful it must’ve been for her.

“Em, you didn’t have to do that. You don’t have to release the video. You don’t owe me anything.”

She smiles sadly. “I wish that were true, but I didn’t even tell you to your face that I needed things to end with us. All this time I’ve left you thinking you caused my breakdown when the truth is, I had issues to deal with that had nothing to do with you. I just couldn’t hack being in love with a rock star. I should’ve talked to you, but I knew you’d give up your dream and I couldn’t have that. Still, I could’ve handled things a lot better than I did. I’m sorry for the unnecessary pain I caused you.”

“I’m happy now.” She lifts her sleeve. She has a tattoo of a heartbeat with a watercolor heart at the end. It’s beautiful and covers the jagged scar from where she tried to take her life. I reach for her wrist and run my fingers along the ink.

“I’m at peace now. Kade, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that sooner. I’m hoping the interview will make up for that.”

I pull her in for a hug, and we stay locked in our embrace for long moments. “You don’t have anything to make up for.” I take a step back. “Em, I should’ve known. I missed it. I missed it with my mother too and with Hayley. Fuck, how didn’t I see she was doing this for me?”

I don’t know if it’s disloyal talking to Emily about Hayley, but fuck I feel like I’ve messed up so many times.

She reaches for my hand and leads me to the chair. Gesturing for me to sit, she smiles. “My back is killing me.”

My lips curl sadly.

“Kade, I don’t know what happened between you and Hayley, but I’ve seen that look in your eyes before. The desolation. You wore it the night I was bleeding out in the bathroom—the night you thought you were losing me. I’ve been following you.” She raises her hands. “I’m not a stalker, I just wanted to know you were okay. When I saw you two together, I felt a weight lift off, you know. Knowing you had someone to make you happy. And it was clear she did. You were happy for the first time in a long time. You can’t let that go. Don’t make the same mistakes I made. Talk to her. Don’t live with any regrets. It’s not worth it.”

A tear tracks down her cheek, and my chest pinches. I wipe her tear away with the knuckles of my hand. “You don’t have to release the video.”

“Oh, I want to. Hayley and I are taking that fucker down.”

I wince. “I don’t know how I feel about my exes working together.”

Emily laughs. “Don’t worry, we won’t swap sex stories.”

I feel a cloud of emotions cross my face. Emily reaches for my hand again. “She loves you, Kade. Whatever happened can be fixed.”

I smile at Emily. Maybe she’s right? What have I got to lose? The pain can’t get any worse than it is now. I feel like I want to fucking kill Benji, but at the same time an unbelievable weight has lifted off my shoulders. One I didn’t know was oppressing me so much.

An old couple walks on the beach, their hands intertwined. She bends to pick up a shell, and he looks down at her. Even from over here, I can see he’s staring down at his world.

“Just talk to her.”

“You sound like Keller.”

“How is he? How’s Josh and Jeff. Is Josh still being Josh and Jeff still so private?”

“They’re all great. I’m sure you can tell from your stalker skills that Keller is engaged now, and the other guys are still pretty much the same.”

She laughs. “And Pops?”

I pick up a muffin. “He has his good and bad days. I’m heading out there later.”

“Will you tell him hey from me?”

“I will.”

She sends a text to Sam to release the video, and we spend the