Eastern Lights, стр. 39

ass like Jason. She deserved better than him, and I had very little doubt he was going to tell her, which made me feel shitty because if he didn’t tell her, I had every intention of doing so.

Did that mean I was breaking some kind of bro code? Maybe, but I couldn’t explain it. For some reason, deep down in my soul, I felt as if my loyalty was in Aaliyah’s corner and not Jason’s.

“Jason, hurry up, will you? We got to get a move on,” I called out as I walked into his room, thinking he was still in the shower.

When I didn’t hear a reply, I called out his name once more.

Again and again.

I darted over to the bathroom to find it empty, and I swore my stomach dropped. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed his number—no luck. I called his number once more.

Again and again.

As I searched the space, I noticed a note sitting on the nightstand.

I can’t do it.

I hardly even know this girl. What the fuck am I doing marrying her?

Let everyone know.

Tell Aaliyah I’m sorry.

-Jason

The letter crumpled in my tight grip and I sighed, knowing today would be the worst day of Aaliyah’s life.

Aaliyah

“I don’t believe this,” I whispered, shock taking over my core. “I can’t believe this…”

Oh God, this was the worst possible thing that could’ve ever happened. I couldn’t believe everything around me was crashing and burning on today of all days. I looked at my phone as tears formed in my eyes. I felt an overwhelming amount of sadness. I couldn’t even explain why.

Feeling alone on your wedding day was never a great thing.

I can’t breathe…

“Why is this happening?” I asked Hannah as I stood in my dressing room, waiting for my bridesmaids to arrive. I wished I could say Hannah was a close friend, but I didn’t really know her all that well. She was the wedding planner Marie had hired and she was in charge of making sure I wouldn’t have the exact breakdown I was currently partaking in.

I stood in front of the floor-length mirror wearing my wedding gown as tears flooded my eyes.

Don’t do it, Aaliyah.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry…

“Oh my gosh!” I sobbed, covering my face with my hands.

“Oh, honey, don’t do that! It’s all right,” Hannah told me.

“How can I not cry? Look at me! I’m fat!” I sobbed, staring at my stomach. Who thought eating a whole basket of bread was a good idea the night before their wedding? Even more so, who thought getting a mermaid dress was a wise idea when one had hips like mine? Why had I done that to myself? Why did I love to self-sabotage?

Jason was right. My ass was fat.

“You’re not fat. You look marvelous,” Hannah promised in such a monotone way. It was clear she had given the “You’re not fat” talk to many brides in her lifetime. She reached for a tissue and started patting at my eyes. “Now stop crying, or we’ll have to keep touching up your makeup.”

I sniffled a bit and stared at myself in the mirror as a few stubborn tears kept falling from my eyes. “Do you think this is the right dress, Hannah?”

She snickered, placing her hands on my shoulders. “I think it’s a bit late to be asking that question.”

I nodded. “I know, it’s just…”

“Butterflies,” she cut in. “It’s wedding day butterflies. I’ve been doing this for over thirty years now, darling—”

“Thirty years?” She must’ve been dying her hair that shade of red. There was no way she could have not one gray hair given the line of work she was in. Nothing makes a person go gray faster than a bridezilla.

“Yes, thirty long years and while all the small details are fun, they don’t really matter much.”

“They don’t?”

“No. It’s not about the dress, or the reception, or the first dance. It’s not about the perfect photographer or a gorgeous bouquet. None of that matters. All that matters is you standing at the end of that long aisle with the love of your life and saying ‘I do.’ The only thing that matters is you two, there, at that moment, together, as you both start writing the opening chapter of your story.”

I released the breath I hadn’t even known I was holding.

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it lightly. “Okay?” she asked.

I nodded. “Okay.”

There was a knock on my door, and we both turned to see Connor standing there. He looked so handsome in his all-black tuxedo. I was glad he’d gone with all black. It was so charming and classy.

“Connor, hey, you look great.” I sighed, relieved. “It’s so good to see you’re here, because that means Jason’s here, which means this is really happening, and I was crying for no reason and—” My words trailed off as I stared at Connor. His lips were doing something strange, something I’d never witnessed them do before.

He was…frowning?

“What is it?” I asked, alarmed. “Is everything okay? Is Jason all right?”

He cleared his throat and slid his hands into his pockets. He looked at Hannah, and then back at me, that frown still resting uncomfortably against his lips. “Do you think we can speak privately?”

“Oh no…” Hannah muttered quietly, shaking her head.

I shot my stare toward her, even more alarmed than before. “What do you mean ‘oh no’? What’s going on?”

Hannah gave me a broken smile and squeezed my hands. “I’ll give you two space to talk.” She left the room as if she knew what was about to happen, as if she knew how my world was about to be turned upside down.

Once she was out of the room, Connor stepped closer to me. The closer he grew, the sicker I felt.

I can’t breathe…

“No,” I whispered, my body beginning to tremble. “I mean, this is ridiculous. He wouldn’t…I mean, he couldn’t…” I laughed, fully in denial, and the more I laughed, the more Connor grimaced.