Like a Fox on the Run, стр. 117
As he watched in amazement, Amber gestured furiously with both hands to Britt. He was so caught off-guard that it took him several seconds for it to sink in that she was signing. Once she finished, he continued to watch transfixed as Britt signed back to her. Of course! All kids were taught to sign now in grade school. Once the waggling and gesturing was completed, the young girl looked to him.
“Amber says you’re like the prince in my storybook,” she informed him, nodding to her book. “You saved her from the bad men.”
He couldn’t help but blush. “I gotta admit … that’s the first time I’ve ever been compared to a prince.”
“Does that make Amber like Snow White?” she asked, sincere in her inquiry. He couldn’t help but smile at the naiveté in her voice.
“Well, I wouldn’t sa—”
Awright, Britt! It’s bedtime!” Lulah interrupted, coming up beside him.
“Awww Mom!” her daughter started to protest. “It’s not a school night! I’m having fun with my new friend!”
“I said now, young lady.” Lulah’s voice grew stern. Tiger dropped his head, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. He wondered if some of Lulah’s severity for her child might have been more appropriately directed at him.
“Yes ma’am,” Britt stood up and turned to Amber. She held out her book. “Here. You can read some more of my book, if you want to.”
“Why don’t you show your … friend … where she’s going to sleep,” Lulah suggested. An attempt at a smile flitted across her face as she eyed Amber … but she couldn’t make it stick.
Britt’s face immediately brightened. “Ok, Mom!” She beamed. She turned to Amber, signing a quick message. Amber nodded, and signed a reply, looking tentatively toward Lulah. She seemed to sense the distrust and concern in her host.
Britt, however, was oblivious to it. She took Amber by the hand. “Come on. I’ll make sure you get tucked in nice and comfy.” As Amber stood and allowed the girl to lead her, Britt turned and added, “Don’t worry. I’ll be in the room right next to you if you get scared.”
Tiger stood aside, and Britt stopped to allow her mother to kneel and give her a tight squeeze and a goodnight kiss. As her mother embraced her tightly, she smiled up at Tiger. When her mom released her, she held out her arms to Tiger.
Ok, this was awkward. He’d never known how to act around Lulah’s kids. Yes, they were hers, but they were also someone else’s. They were another man’s children. A man who had loved the same woman he loved. A man who had once shared her life. A man who’d taken a place in her heart and life he once held. He wanted so much to get to know the children of the woman he loved. At the same time, he had no idea how. What if they didn’t feel the same? This had always left him confused and feeling at a loss in their presence.
He looked to Lulah, who nodded solemnly. Oh, she was miffed at him, he could tell, but this was her daughter. Her little girl’s happiness was what was important; her mom’s anger would have to simmer a little longer. Still, Tiger tensed. He wasn’t at all looking forward to Amber and Britt going on to bed. Lulah wanted some alone time with him, he had no doubt about that. He also doubted it had anything to do with a romantic interlude. He dreaded the coming storm.
Feeling uncomfortable, he put on a brave smile. He bent down, and the young girl wasted no time in throwing her arms around his neck. Hesitantly, he nervously returned the embrace. He moved with exaggerated care as if she were made of eggshells. She, on the other hand, shared none of this tentativeness. She wrapped him up eagerly, a broad smile lighting her cherubic face. He was surprised at how tight she squeezed him, her affection sincere and humbling.
He was shocked at how small and fragile she felt in his arms as he held her awkwardly. It suddenly occurred to him that he couldn’t recollect the last time he’d hugged a child. He had no brother and sisters, and thus, no nieces or nephews. He had little contact with children in his gypsy life. And the truth was, he’d never really desired it. A family, wife, kids … he’d sacrificed those opportunities long ago. He’d always been too busy planet hopping, worried about the next deep space run, or looking for the latest, greatest adventure.
And what has it gotten me? Regret stabbed at his chest like an icepick. What do I have to show for it? He resisted the urge to squeeze the girl to him. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more in the whole of Sol than to hold this little girl tightly to him for as long as she would let him.
She should be mine! I blew it! Fuckin’ blew it!
He couldn’t help but smile at how good it felt. He didn’t understand it. He couldn’t explain it. It just felt … right. It was one of those moments in your life when you know that no matter what is happening around you, no matter what you’ve done or what you’ve failed to do, you’re experiencing a moment of pure goodness. Simple innocence, so powerful you’ll never forget it and always cherish it.
Britt seemed oblivious to his epiphanies. After all, it was just a goodnight hug. “Good night, Mr. Tiger!” She pressed her cheek to his face, adding with a whisper, “My mommy likes